I bet there's so much the you of today wishes she could tell the you just starting her fertility journey. Right? Same here.
Having defied the odds on my own journey--and having helped countless women across the globe do the same (3 more pregnancies in the past 14 days!)--let me share some priceless wisdom I wish I had 8 years ago:
The typical predictors of success we would use at work, school, or in other aspects of our lives, do not apply to your fertility journey. Toss them.
The timeline for when things "should" happen? Yeah, right.
The number of "failures," before one should give up? Bullshit.
The weight to give the opinions of "experts?" Debatable. At best, they are making educated guesses. (Ethical ones admit that.)
When you embrace THE FACT that the miracle of life does not follow a neat, tidy, or predictable set of rules, your journey will get 1000x simpler.
Instead of beating yourself up for "failing too many times," not performing exactly as "expected," or comparing yourself to others, you can focus intelligently on how the uncertain nature of this journey is actually an AWESOME thing.
Think about it:
- Countless women go on to conceive babies naturally after years of IVF "failure," or being told it would "never" happen. I am one of them.
- Every single day on this planet, there are women in their 40s having babies. 40 is the new 30 across the globe--the number of babies born to women 45 and over has TRIPLED in the United States. (CBS News)
- Women who've had repeated miscarriages, later give birth to healthy babies.
- Embryos that are dismissed as "low quality," go on to produce healthy babies. (In fact, "perfect" embryos are no guarantee of a full term, healthy pregnancy.)
- Everyone knows someone who's TTC for 5, 10, or even 20 years, and went on to have a perfectly healthy baby. Time trying is no predictor of future success.
Thank God, the Universe, and whatever else is out there, that the miracle of life IS NOT confined by the "rules," timelines, statistics, or negative bias of human beings.
Make your journey simple.
Believe ANYTHING is possible.
My ladies simplify success.
They follow one rule: Anything is possible...even the "impossible" awesome shit. (See why they beat the odds?)
Decide you will be one of them.
Change your mindset, change your results.
Intrigued? Here's an exercise to take this to the next level...
Be the best predictor of YOUR success.
The miracle of life isn't confined by timelines, statistics, or past "failures." Are you judging your prospects by rigid, short-sighted "rules," that have no practical application to a process that is inherently non-linear, and unpredictable?
Which rules do you use to beat yourself up? Number of years trying? Number of "failed" IVF cycles? Your age? The opinion of your doctor?
List your current set of beliefs about whether YOU can succeed. Are those beliefs supporting your success?
If not, what are you DOING to change them?
Your thoughts, beliefs, and actions will support your success. Choose them wisely.
Want me to teach you how? I'm here. xoxoxo