I'm not gonna lie, there were times on my journey I was straight up desperate.
The kind of desperate where, in a moment of clarity, you catch yourself doing things that cause you to think, "Seriously? Who the hell am I right now," yet, you go right back to doing whatever crazy shit you were doing...yes, that kind.
If you've been on this journey long enough, you know exactly what I mean.
But, even in my most desperate moments, there was a line I would not let myself cross.
Boil black "medicinal" chickens? Yes.
Take dozens of epsom salt and borax baths to cleanse "bad energy?" Of course.
Stand in line for hours to be whispered to by a mystic? Absolutely!
Seek help and guidance from a higher power? No. Friggin'. Way.
I wasn't that desperate.
"Why would I call upon something that was seemingly complicit in my suffering?"
"I haven't been to church in decades and I swear like a sailor--it would be shamelessly hypocritical for me to call upon this power now, right?"
"Who needs a higher power when you have something predictable and trusty, like science?" (If you've had more than one failed fertility treatment, you'll get the irony.)
That line of reasoning helped me create a bunch of alibis and excuses for discounting the role of a higher power in the miracle I was so desperately seeking.
"Sorry God/Universe/Source, I don't need your help!" Yikes.
Predictably enough, the failures and the pain just kept coming.
As any intelligent woman would, I finally had to ask myself, "WTF is missing here?"
It certainly wasn't medicine. It wasn't diet. It wasn't rabid addiction to being perfect!
Then, it became blazingly obvious.
I began to take an honest inventory of my journey and saw a series of mercies, blessings, and miracles that made "Its" presence undeniable:
- Always having the money I needed for each treatment,
- Meeting the exact person I needed to meet at the exact "right" time,
- A Kenyan phlebotomist that served as proof of angel messengers,
- Being spared surgery during my miscarriage,
- Books finding their way into my hands at the perfect time,
- The Alpha Females that served as my coaches and mentors,
- Awarenesses that helped me let go of my embarrassingly limited thinking,
- The segue out of my legal career into my work as a coach--which has touched the lives of hundreds of women across the globe on this journey,
- My husband, who is a king of a man,
- And countless other mindblowing things along the way.
God/Universe/Source had my back the whole time, but in my anger and hubris, I couldn't see it.
Embracing this truth is why despite years of failure, poor prognosis, and being in my 40s, I was able to BELIEVE and THINK like a woman who achieves success on this journey.
My beliefs and thoughts were made manifest on June 30, 2017 at 7:39 PM.
I am not here to proselytize.
But, I am going to love you enough to give it to you straight.
You can't expect miracles without the help of the miraculous.
Make your connection to the Divine your first resort, not your last.
You may get frustrated with its timeline and you may be sick of the "character building" experiences it sends your way--but it is conspiring on your behalf.
You simply have to be willing to see it.
My ladies aren't desperate.
They know the Universe has their back, so they learn to BELIEVE and THINK like women who manifest miracles, which is why they certainly do.
Decide you will be one of them.
Change your mindset, change your results.
Intrigued? Here's an exercise to take this to the next level...
Gather your proof. It's everywhere.
Take an objective, honest inventory of your journey.
There are undoubtedly blessings, mercies, and miracles that have shown up along the way. Quit acting like there aren't. The sooner you acknowledge them, the faster you invite more.
Make a list of every stroke of grace that has shown up on your journey--the circumstances, things, people, and experiences that have come together for your benefit.
Obstinately clinging to the big fat lie that your entire journey has sucked will only guarantee more suck-worthy experiences. You are better than that.
Stretch yourself! It's about progress, not perfection.