The face Asher Douglas is making in this picture is how I used to feel about the holidays on this journey.
I used to wince my way through the holidays, just waiting for the next shit-bomb to go off in my face.
The form in which it would come was anybody's guess:
- An unintentionally idiotic comment from a relative?
- The "you don't have kids, so why don't you come to OUR house?" song and dance OR
- An ill-timed, kamikaze Pampers commercial popping up in the middle of a 24-hour "A Christmas Story" marathon.
When I learned to master my mindset, I realized the holidays on this journey DO NOT have to suck.
In fact, you can enjoy them more than you ever have when you strategically apply these 3 ways to end holiday dread:
1) Exercise the power of choice. This means YOU ALONE get to decide how you spend your holidays. "Obligations" and fear about what friends and family will think are things WE make up. Take responsibility for your own happiness. If you can't stand to be with relatives who don't respect your boundaries or treat you like a child, spend your holidays elsewhere. Why show up for the sake of appearances or allow other people to smear their holiday expectations on you? Save yourself the grief of having to drive home (again) asking, "Why the fuck didn't we just stay home??" Regardless of where you spend the holidays, remember you aren't a hostage. When you've had enough, BOUNCE!
2) Watch your focus. You've heard me rant about this before, but this shit is transformational: are you focusing on what you want or the LACK of it? The holidays are great reminders of the family we long to build--are you letting family gatherings, other people's kids, or Hallmark Movies inspire you, OR are you letting those things throw you into a spiral of misery? Intelligent focus can catapult you toward the things you want with lightening speed. Focusing on lack = poor, fear-based choices = missed opportunities = self sabotage. No bueno baby. Focus wisely.
3) Buck tradition. You are in the process of building your own family! Why not get into the swing of new traditions--entirely of your own creation? Who says you have to wait till your baby gets here to do so? Whether it's eating in your holiday jammies, or going out to a killer restaurant that serves a smashing holiday meal--give yourself a chance to have fun exploring. Be willing to reevaluate "tradition," and demand more for yourself than what's "comfortable." How awesome will it be to tell your baby, "We created some kick ass holiday traditions on the road to having you sweetheart!"
My husband and I applied what I shared with you here, to create an entirely different way of being during the holidays--and we are so glad we did.
Shaking things up gives everyone a chance to redo the holidays on their terms--it can be a much needed breath of fresh air.
Don't get me wrong, tradition and family are awesome--just don't let either stand in the way of the progress your heart sooooo desires.
My ladies rock the holidays.
They know life is too short and time is too precious to settle for anything less than holiday glee on their own loving, joyful, smart AF terms.
Decide you will be one of them.
Change your mindset, change your results.
Intrigued? Here's an exercise to take this to the next level...
Take the dread out of your holidays.
Create your vision for the holiday experience you desire. WRITE IT OUT.
What stays? What gets the boot? What guilt trips will you no longer tolerate? Seriously, if someone is trying to guilt you into another year of Aunt Mildred's soggy casserole and your cousin complaining about "the gout," you've got to question their motives. People who really love you aren't into emotional extortion!
Taking control of your holidays isn't some kind of categorical rejection of your family or tradition. It's you taking responsibility for your own happiness.
When you love yourself enough to ask, "What do I really want the holidays to be like," you give yourself the chance of actually creating that experience. Exciting isn't it???
Is it time you started thinking, believing, and therefore taking action like a woman who succeeds on this journey? Mindset is critical baby! Want my help? I'm here. xoxo