This week marks the holiday season being in full-swing here in the U.S. with Thanksgiving on Thursday.
While I love this time of year, there is no question that it can inspire anxiety and complicated emotions when you are on the fertility journey.
There’s nothing like annoying questions, insensitive statements, and awkward moments to send you running for the door…or an adult beverage.
So what does a smart woman do, if she not only wants to avoid incarceration, but heaven forbid, enjoy the holidays?
She decides she will live the holiday season on her terms.
Here’s what that means: you create a clear vision of what you desire your holiday experience to be and you do everything in your power to make it so.
If you get the impression that I’m asking you to get your big-girl pants on and put yourself first for once–you get an A+!
Part of you might be asking, “but, isn’t this time of year about giving and being generous to others?”
My answer is YES, and being generous with others and putting yourself first are not mutually exclusive.
In fact, when you are generous with yourself first, you have way more to give others. Seriously, how excited and inspired are you to give to others when you are feeling depleted and neglected?
This journey is challenging enough and life is way too short to be stuck with the short end of the stick over the next 6 weeks.
Decide what you want your holiday experience to be and GO-FOR-IT!
Sick of answering questions? Smile and tell the questioner, you don’t have an answer, and say nothing more, as you head for another hors d’oeuvres. If they feel awkward, that’s their business, not yours. (Yup, I said it!)
Don’t feel like driving 6 hours for another weird holiday at your brother’s house, that you regret every year? Do yourself and him a favor…make other plans. It’s your holiday too and you deserve to enjoy it. It’s not personal–time just isn’t a renewable resource.
Do you just want to stay home and order-in with your partner? Do exactly that.
Do you want to serve meals to homeless veterans or the elderly? Rock on. It maybe the goodness that your heart could really use right now.
The question you have to ask yourself, is whether you are available for another holiday season that leaves you miserable and unsatisfied.
The people who really love you and want the best for you, will understand. They may not “get it” at first, but that’s OK–be patient and lovingly stand your ground.
Your truth and your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.
I’m here to happily remind you.
Lots of love,
Intrigued? Here’s an exercise to take this to the next level…
Get crystal clear about the holiday experience you desire to have.
Write it out in your journal.
Who do you want to be with? How long do you want to stay? What questions will you/won’t you be answering? Do you really want to go anywhere!
Do this from a loving place and be generous with yourself.
Know that this may challenge you on a number of fronts, but realize that if this is your TRUTH–it is worth taking a stand for.
Ask yourself: How CAN I make this happen?
Share your desires with your partner.
And…GO FOR IT. Say a big YES to what you want and take the action to get it.
Stretch yourself. Remember, it’s about progress, NOT perfection.
Want extra accountability? COMMENT on this blog and tell me how it’s going.