EP159 Smart Mama Move: Learn How To Make A F*cking Decision

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

The most powerful faculty anyone has on this journey is the ability to CHOOSE. The problem is, very few of us have been taught HOW to be decisive.  In a world of shiny objects, distractions, and a media that celebrates fear and overwhelm, how do women who are legitimately serious about success stay focused and […]

The post EP159 Smart Mama Move: Learn How To Make A F*cking Decision appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Transcript:
Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, badassery, and loads of hell Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 159. Smart Mama. Move. Learn how to make a fucking decision. Hey loves, I am supercalifragilisticexpialidociously happy to be here with you this week, on the heels of such incredible successes my ladies are living right now, I thought it would be important to bring a topic that is very dear to my heart and critical to your success To the forefront.

And just so you know, since the beginning of this year, at the time of this recording, which is just over two months from the beginning of 2022, my team and I have received notifications from 18 women in my fearlessly Fertile Method community sharing that they are pregnant. That’s 18 women in the first 69 days of 2022 with number 18.

Coming just about an hour ago. My ladies are absolutely on fire and I am so excited and happy for them. My loves, this, this is what happens when you become a woman who can make a fucking decision. When you make the decision that your ass is going to be successful on this journey come hell or high water.

It makes you unstoppable. And as the great Bruce Lee once said, you become like water. You can maneuver and flow in any given situation to get to the desired destination. And that’s exactly what my ladies do. It’s why they win! So let’s talk about decision and what that actually means. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, Roseanne, what the fuck are you talking about?

I make decisions all day. I’m a physician, lawyer, nurse, teacher, engineer, accountant, rockin scientist. Why are you lecturing me about how to make a fuckin decision? Well, first of all, I’m not lecturing you, girl. I’m inviting you into a higher level of awareness because that’s actually what mindset is. It’s about awareness and having the humility to check yours.

Honestly, I believe in a woman’s absolute right to be fucking miserable. So you do you, boo. If you are okay with your life as is, and the results, or lack thereof, that you are getting, stay put. Turn this shit off. Go back to business as usual. And lavishly lap up all the statistics and fear porn nefarious folks are gonna try to sell you about your fertility.

And who You really are. Mm, mm, good. But for those mamas who are listening, who want better for themselves and their family, and know what’s in their heart is bigger than the fear that gets slung, turn this shit up. Turn it up, baby. As we talk about how to make a fucking decision. Let’s start by getting one thing straight.

The kinds of decisions you make at work are decidedly unlike the decisions you make on this journey. The nature of them is completely different. This isn’t a patient, this isn’t what your boss wants, this isn’t about some ax you have to grind with an annoying co worker, or some bullshit corporate policy you hate.

This It’s about your baby. There is no logic or reason about this. This is deeper, it is spiritual, and it is connected to your deepest sense of purpose, which is sometimes difficult to articulate and you simply can’t expect. Other people to understand, particularly if they have walled off and silenced that part of themselves, the decisions you make on this journey feel existential, as opposed to the generally transactional that we see day in and day out.

With this understanding, you can see that the training we typically get about decision making leaves us insanely ill equipped. It’s like trying to use a formula for lead when you’re trying to get gold. It ain’t gonna work. Think about it. The typical training we get about decision making comes from our parents and school and behind that training is a shit ton of fear.

No shade on school or parents. It’s just a reality. Think about it. Fear of getting spanked. Fear of getting the answer wrong. Fear of failing a test. Fear of being left out. Fear of not getting into the right school. Fear of being unloved. Fear of being abandoned. Fear of being ostracized or criticized. Fear of losing, fear of going broke, fear of being shamed, so much fucking fear!

From the time we are babies, we are picking up all kinds of signals from the people around us about what’s right and what’s wrong. When we get into school, we’re taught to memorize shit for a test, then be able to regurgitate all of it out in a timely manner and get some arbitrary grades. We’re taught to conform and be like others so we don’t get laughed at, or be the last person chosen for dodgeball.

For the most part, we’re taught that there’s only one answer, and if you don’t arrive at that answer, there’s something wrong with you. This leads us to be scared shitless of making a mistake. Then we get addicted to having to sleep on it or talk to 50 people before we make a fucking decision. It’s the kind of fear that causes us to conform and be compliant little shit.

In school we actually get rewarded for that shit. Most schooling does not actually teach us how to think. I mean think critically. We learn how to memorize and regurgitate. Those who think differently or see the world differently get shamed as weirdos and fools. Independent thinking, intuition, and an expansive worldview gets mocked.

Doubt this? I bet you have a personal example of when you saw shit differently and at some point in your education tried to express that shit, but were shut down or were too shamed to open your mouth. I know that it’s happened to you. It certainly happened to me. Now, for those of you who received an education where open discourse was encouraged and coming to your own well reasoned conclusions was celebrated, bravo!

This structure that the rest of us had to contend with tends to follow us later into our education. And when we get into our professional schooling, having the quote unquote right answer is the only way that we will get our licenses and stamps of approval to pursue our chosen career. The conformity is rewarded.

Now, I get the utility of standardized testing, right? I get it. I get it. Standardized testing, there’s a place for it. The problem is, nobody really ever taught us that that kind of thinking will only take us so far. That it really only applies to certain areas. Without a pattern interrupt to encourage us to be willing to think for ourselves, trust ourselves, be okay with not thinking like everyone else, and be okay with quote unquote failing or making mistakes, we are stuck in the fucking bear trap of thinking there’s only one way to do things, and that’s do it like everyone else!

This means we aren’t thinking, we are just repeating patterns. I’m serious. The way that the vast majority of us are taught to make decisions is to be in abject terror of making a mistake. This is why instead of relying on our intuition and what our hearts tell us, we default to statistics and what the fucking experts quote unquote say.

We get intellectually hobbled by our fear. This is why we spin, demand 5, 000 testimonials, wanna sleep on it, ask our spouse, or bore 50 people to death with our bullshit, ask 752 opinions on the subject, and make the lamest excuses ever. Before we can make a fucking decision. It is un fucking believable.

Our inability to make a decision isn’t just annoying for the people around us, my loves. It stresses us out for no legitimate reason. For better or worse, intentional or unintentional, many of us came up in a system that was designed to instill a level of distrust in ourselves that will keep us looking outside of ourselves for the answer.

Utterly divorcing us from our internal creative power, our intuition, and our connection with God, universe, source. The answer is in you, mama. The wisdom you seek to make decisions is in you. And more often than not, it’s right as fuck. Here’s what you have to understand when it comes to making a decision and the power to choose.

Look, you know exactly what you want to do in any given situation. You know, the idea that you don’t is just an excuse and stall tactic. You know what you want, but all of the training you received about quote unquote, getting it right, not making a mistake. And Oh my God, what are other people going to say?

Cripples your ass. and has you running for the warm, sickening embrace of indecision and excuses. The very nature of this journey is such that we will never have all the answers, Mama, and if you’re waiting around for all of the possible information to come in before you make a decision, you may have just shot yourself in the foot because that ship has fucking sailed.

I promise you that when something is right, You hear your heart shouting leap bitch leap your soul is screaming Yes, motherfuckers, but you’re deeply ingrained terror of getting it wrong Lack and scarcity and what will other people think will block you and you find yourself going back to the same old shit Getting the same old results It’s heartbreakingly gross.

I can speak with authority on this topic because I was the world’s biggest agonizer over getting it right. It was part of my personality and it was also rewarded in my profession because of the pressure that was on me as a prosecutor. I had to be the one motherfucker in the room that knew where I was headed.

I had to be able to state my position, shepherdize that shit for hours. And, and, and be flawless, right? Because we’re, we’re, we’re programmed to believe that if we make a mistake, then we’re fucked. But it’s so untrue. And that’s why I know if I can get over this, so can you. Because what’s on the other side, mama, is fucking freedom.

In a world of shiny object syndrome, distractions, excuses, and a media that celebrates fear and overwhelm, you have got to be the one person that can see through the garbage and make a fucking decision quickly and confidently with zero Regret. When I think about what a decision really is, I see it as taking a stand for something.

It’s something that is conscious and intended to bring you closer to a goal. It’s something that at its core comes from the heart. The funny thing is, is we all think we’re making logical decisions. We’re not! We are making choices based on emotion that we later craft logic around in order to justify it.

The truth about decision being a, a form of taking a stand can be found in the Latin root of the word, which means to cut or cut off. It’s fabulous when you think about it. When you make a decision, you’re cutting out all of the trifling shit and finally taking a stand for something. Decisions can be subtle, they can be bold, no matter the magnitude of the decision.

They are a reflection of what you actually value. You can look at someone’s decisions and see what they are really about. Are they a poser? Are they for real? Do they mean what they say or are they just talking shit? Your decisions and what you do in those clutch moments. Say a lot about you. So make them, mama, with integrity.

Don’t be one of those people that says, Oh yeah, I want to change, I want, you know, I want this, I want that, I want to create this, I want to create that. But you just don’t fucking make decisions that are consistent with that. It’s heartbreaking. In my opinion, the best possible decisions have the following ingredients.

One, they are clear about what you want. Two, they are made with the understanding that there are no wrong answers per se, just more information upon which to make your next decision. And this is key because it utterly dismantles the pressure to be right. Inherent in this ingredient is the emotionally mature understanding that no one gets everything right and that sometimes fucking shit up might be the best possible thing for you so that you can grow and expand your expertise.

Can you imagine if Edison or Einstein were afraid of being wrong? Some of the biggest breakthroughs in science and medicine Philosophy and so many different things have come through the willingness to be wrong! The third ingredient is they are made from the heart, taking the available information into account but not being confined by what our eyes see or the shackles of quote unquote conventional wisdom.

Number four, they are made from a place of positive possibility from expansion rather than lack and scarcity or fear. Notice that when fear drives your decisions, it’s all about fear of what might happen. As opposed to the excitement over what’s to come. Those two things feel completely different. And as my husband loves to say, Scared money never wins.

Trust the yes in your heart. You know what you fucking want! Let your decisions be an affirmation of what you desire, not what you fear. You don’t need to sleep on shit. You don’t need to ask someone for permission and there is nothing you are going to know more in 24 hours. You know what you want, have the guts to bet on you.

Number five, they are devoid of the most catastrophically regret laden excuses. There are time. Money and other people, you know, you’re about to make a shitty decision when it is based on the lack of time lack of money or what other people your partner or husband will think that shit is all made up. And this is hilarious.

This is how we know it’s made up because this is the low down dirty. This is the reality that that people don’t actually want to look at. You always find the time for the things you actually care about. You will find the money for the things you truly want. And when you really care about something, you don’t give two shits what other people think.

And I bet you have experienced With all of this in your life, you know, people say, Oh, I don’t have money for that. I don’t know, but they always got their Starbucks. They always got, I mean, it’s just bullshit. And the same with time because they’ll always find time for Netflix and all this and, and come hell or high water.

If they really want something, they don’t give a shit what their, their partner thinks or anybody else. I mean, we all have experience with that. And the point of pointing this out is to show how ridiculous those excuses are. And the most heartbreaking thing is those are the top three excuses that people use all the time.

These three excuses, time, money, and other people, they will fuck you over. They will keep you stuck in mediocrity and seething with regret. And when you’ve truly made a decision, you figure your shit out, you make it happen, and you don’t let time, money, or other people stop you. Ingredient number six. These decisions are made quickly.

They are made quickly. With zero entertainment of wishy washy back and forth nonsense. Just make a fucking decision and never think about it again. If you need to make an adjustment, You will know just stay the fucking course. If you need to make some course corrections, you’ll make them, but make a decision quickly.

Don’t fuck around with not with indecision and all that garbage. All it’s doing is distracting you from the goal. And the seventh ingredient, a great decision has is they’re made from the perspective of 100 percent personal responsibility. That means you. Are responsible for you, so you are going to make decisions for you.

You aren’t making a decision in order to be able to blame others in the future. You’ve got your big girl panties on and you take your God given responsibility for yourself and your happiness seriously. You aren’t waiting around to do it, you know, for somebody else to do it for you. Nor would you want them to because you’re not a 14 year old girl.

You’re a grown ass woman with a brain. And all of these ingredients to making a great decision, they all culminate in, in one underlying theme. And the key of all of this is to trust. You have to fucking trust yourself. When you trust yourself, you won’t waste time acting like a teenage girl who can’t make a fucking decision.

You splash that part of you with a bucket of ice water and shout, get your shit together girl, we have a fucking life to live. When you trust yourself, you also won’t be swayed by the opinions of others, statistics, or fear of the wrath of others, because you know that betraying your inner wisdom, your inner knowing, has far more fearsome consequences.

A woman who trusts herself is a woman that knows that the way will be shown, leaps must be taken, and has the faith that she will land on her feet. This is what every woman you have heard on my podcast embodies. And I can tell you that all 18 of the women that have announced their pregnancies to me and my team over the past 69 days, they all embody that as well.

Does this require perfection? Absolutely not! We’ve already talked about that. In fact, releasing the need to be right will open up a world of freedom that can accelerate your success. Learn how to make a fuckin decision, mama. It just might change your life. So here’s an exercise to take what I’ve shared here with you to the next level.

Make a fuckin decision. Step one. This week, practice the most important faculty you have. The ability to make a decision and choose. No hemming, no hawing, no agonizing. Start small. Chicken or fish. Beef or lamb. Vanilla or chocolate. Hell yes or hell no. Don’t entertain hell maybe. There’s nothing more annoying than hell maybe.

Give yourself the gift of decisiveness. Reject the compulsion to spin or overthink. Recognize that what drives that nonsense is your fear of making a mistake. Just acknowledge it. And when the truth, you know, the truth is there are no mistakes. There’s just data that comes as a result of your choices.

It’s just that simple. You have the power to choose what you make those quote unquote mistakes mean. If you make mistakes negative, then that is what they’ll be. If you make mistakes an invitation to pivot, then pivot and thrive, you will. Right? Just because your teachers, professors, or family of origin made your mistakes or choices wrong doesn’t mean you need to perpetuate that shit.

As a grown ass woman, you get to decide. You get to trust you. You fuckin earned it. Step two. Make some fuckin decisions! Go on a decision making frenzy. Experiment with what it feels like to be decisive as fuck. Build that muscle. Trust yourself. If you get a result you don’t like, say, Oh shit! Woohoo! More information!

Get excited. See how many decisions you can make this week. Notice how free you feel when you take the pressure off and love yourself through the process, knowing that You have everything within you right now to right the ship if you step in some shit. And step three, text the link to this podcast episode to someone you think could benefit from it.

Screenshot this episode, put it in your Facebook or Insta story tagging me. Share the shit out of this. And while you’re on it, take a moment, give us a five star review. It’ll make you feel so good to show your gratitude for this free content my team and I serve you with every week. Love, on this journey, we make thousands of decisions, getting to a place where you can make them with confidence and regret proof your life is worth its weight in gold.

Getting great at decision making isn’t about being book smart. It’s about trusting your inner guidance system, that, that knowing within you, it’s about believing in you, your intuition, and your call to be a mom. There’s nothing more expensive than regret. If you are ready to become the woman who makes decisions with calm, confidence, ease, and some well deserved joy, my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind, and body, so you don’t have to look back on this time with regret.

Like the 18 women in the past 69 days did. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodology is help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. Check out my Instagram.

Click on the client testimonials reel. You’ll see all these amazing p sticks get super fucking inspired. And you gotta remember, mama, if you don’t have a mindset for success in this journey, baby, you gotta keep it all in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit. And set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results.

Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.