EP170 From “Toxic” To Santorini Miracle Mama: Alina’s Story

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

Trying to conceive brought Alina face to face with the fact that SHE had some work to do. In addition to being a “toxic” person (her words, not mine!) she found herself struggling with a bicornuate uterus, PCOS, low AMH, and endometriosis. When she found the man she wanted to have a family with, she […]

The post EP170 From “Toxic” To Santorini Miracle Mama: Alina’s Story appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey. Just like I did get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, badassery, and loads of hell. Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 170. From Toxic to Santorini Miracle Mama, Alina’s Story. OMG, my loves, I am so excited to be back with you this week, as I always am! I mean, I just doesn’t love to hear stories of triumph on this journey when we are so often surrounded by scary statistics and stories of misery.

It is such an incredible breath of fresh fucking air. To hear stories from women and testimonies from women who made the seemingly impossible possible. And that’s exactly what you’re going to hear this week because, oh, man, this was, this is definitely a story. I’ve just, oh, just so excited to share with you because my beloved Alina that you’re going to meet this week is a woman that I have a lot of admiration for.

Because, look. Is not easy to admit that you are toxic and this big hearted, whip smart, incredibly intelligent, super committed, lovably type A control freaky professional woman living in London found herself at a crossroads. I mean, she was really in a place where she realized she had to get her shit together because she was presented with an opportunity to have the family of her dreams with the man of her dreams.

And if she didn’t turn her shit around, she could end up squandering that opportunity. And this is what Alina is going to be sharing about, that transformation. Because in addition to her own toxic behavior, and those are her words, not mine, she was also dealing with some physical issues that certainly had the cards stacked against her.

She had a bicornate uterus, PCOS, and endometriosis. She was told that having her baby, you know, that IVF was the only way. But like so many of my ladies from all over the world have proven, you know what, the universe, god universe, source, gus, has always got another card tucked right up its sleeve. So you’re gonna hear how By working on her mindset, changing her toxicity, opening up her heart, and allowing herself to receive, my beloved Alina beat the odds and called in a virtually impossible miracle.

Now, another thing that I love about my ladies is their level of humility. I mean, every single one of them that comes on this podcast to share their stories. They are speaking from the heart and really sharing their experience because I know every single one of them would tell you that if they could make this change, so can you, they are human beings who simply had the guts to make a change, you know, and I think a lot of times we hear podcasts like this and we, we, you know, stack these people up to be so far above us and, and beyond our experience, but What I love about Alina’s story is she is so frickin human.

I mean, like, every one of my ladies that has come on here, like, I hear from women all over the world, Oh my God, it could be so friends with that woman. It’s because they’re real. They’re, they’re committed, and they’re kind, and they’re generous. So if you’re in a place where you’re feeling like, you know, shit is just piling up on you, it’s women like all of my ladies that appeared on this podcast, and Alina, who is so just human about her experience, that you can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

The generosity of these women and what they’re sharing is there to show you how possible this is. When you take responsibility for your behavior, for the way that you’re thinking, and for the way that you’re showing up. Because thoughts, beliefs, actions, results. This is logical and linear. If you want different results on this journey, you’ve got to change, mama.

And that’s not a criticism, that’s not saying that you’re not enough. But what it is saying is, hey, if you’re not getting the result you want, you’ve got to try different shit. And that’s exactly what Alina did. And the story of how she got there, oh, this is so good, and being able to live her journey on her terms and and dare to go on a fucking vacation while she’s trying to conceive, it’s actually super beautiful.

With all of that as our backdrop, my loves, here is my conversation with my miracle mama, Alina. Hi! There you are, my darling woman! Look at you! Look at me! Oh my goodness, look at that bum! Oh my goodness! Oh my gosh, we’re just gonna jump right in. Cause I know that you are, you’re, you’re, you’re Building a baby there.

And so, and it’s the end of the day for you. So we’ll jump right in love. So why don’t you start us off by just sharing a little bit about yourself? And how you found yourself on this journey?

Myself, I’m 40, almost 14, two months. And I’m, uh, I’m working for a big company, a multinational company as a, as a manager in tax. I have a global role and this role eats my time and creates a lot of pressure for me. But as you will see in my story, I wanted a career. So, um, Yeah. About my journey. My journey started when I was 25.

I don’t know if I can say journey, but that was when I started to think of becoming a mom. I got married when I was very, very young. I was 23, just finishing university and super in love with my husband. Unfortunately, we struggled financially. I couldn’t find a job, even if I finished first in class. My, uh, my husband hated his job, but we were in love and we thought that only that battle, you know, but at that, at that time I was, I was a toxic person.

This is what I realized only after years of, after destroying my marriage, hating myself, blaming others for all my failures. I was, um, judgmental. I was criticizing, asking everyone around me to be perfect. But my law, my, my husband loved me no matter what. And this is why, this is why, uh, he has all my respect, even today, after so many years after, after my divorce.

But to be honest, that is what I saw in my family. And I grew with parents fighting, criticizing each other, showing their hate in front of us. And also asking me to become the best. And, uh, trust me, um, asking your child to be the best is something a parent should not do. I was very good in school because I was constantly pushed by my parents because they wanted me to have a career and have money and forget about the years when I were, uh, when we were poor, but being, uh, being supported by a parent to learn good in school and fight for, for, for a career, it’s.

It’s not something bad that I’m thankful to them for this, but the environment I grew in and, um, and all of all those demands I had to bear as a child that was too much for me. So my desire to, uh, to become a mom was mixed with my desire of building a career. At 20, 25, 27, when I was, I started to, to, to, um, think of, of becoming a mom, I was living in a small town with a no, with no opportunities for a career.

So I’m from Romania. So I am talking about the small in, in Romania. And because of not having too much opportunities for a career, I decided that maybe I should think of building a family. My husband was open to the idea of, uh, of a child and we stopped using protection. But, um, because I had painful periods and months with heavy period or months without a period, I decided to see a doctor and another one and another one and another one.

Not fertility doctors, but, um, normal, normal gynecologists. And unfortunately, at that time, I received, uh, so many different, uh, diagnostics. Oh, my God. Endometriosis, polycystic ovaries, uh, I don’t know how to pronounce big or not, uh, uterus. Yeah, it’s something weird. But the common conclusion of all these doctors was that I will get pregnant very hard.

At that time, we didn’t have the education to continue the investigation with some fertility doctors. It was enough for me that. And for all this, all these conclusions to change this, maybe into a big, no, like a big, big, no, in my family, there was no, maybe, or there was no hope, or let’s try no way there was yes.

And no, so this is how ladies, I become a no person. Me and my husband, we continue not to use protection, but unfortunately I was living a no life. A no life, um, made me put my career at first. And focus only on that. I moved from that small town. I moved to the capital in Bucharest and my desire to have a good job, a luxurious life with parties, cultural events, dinners outside the house, expensive clothes, expensive shoes, pushed me away from my husband and my old friends.

And that’s why at 32, I got divorced. And I started to enjoy my party life with a good career. My family suffered a lot, uh, because, uh, because of my divorce, you know, in, in Romania, in our culture, in our religion, divorce at 32 with, uh, no children without the house is, is a shame. But to be honest, I didn’t see it like this.

I, um, I was free and able to, to enjoy everything I wanted without any constraints for my, uh, for my family and for my, uh, for, for my husband. But the painful feeling of not being a mom was there. I don’t know if that was, if that was planted there by the culture, by the religion expectations from the parents, uh, my own expectations.

The fact that my ex husband already has three kids with her new, uh, his new, uh, uh, partner, all my friends around me have child after child. I don’t know, but that feeling was there. In the years after my, uh, my divorce, I, um, I met a guy I’m now with, and, uh, we started, we started a real journey of attempts to have a proper relationship.

To be honest, I think that for more than six years, we went to a nightmare of relationship for both of us. It was clear. It was clear enough that we were in love with each other because we were back together after so many breakups, but none of us wanted to wanted to accept that we have real problems like wrong mindset, wrong expectations from the relationship, wrong plans.

But I might say that this journey made me the woman I am today. But. Thank God I realized in time that I have, I have real problems and I have to, I have to correct. And, um, I opened myself to know me better, to accept my, uh, my past and mistakes and to, to make changes. I decided to, and started to see a therapist and, uh, dig into my childhood.

I, uh, started to read books about, uh, personal developments and listen, podcast, meditation, yoga. I also started to, to travel and enjoy new places and the new people. But, you know, all this made me more lonely and those friends, I thought they were my friends when we were partying. Uh, those friends started to consider me a freak.

As I said, I tried to do to have a proper relationship with, uh, with my current partner partner for so long, and we even took into account to have a baby together, but there were so many unsolved issues from the past, especially for me, that we always ended up breaking up it. I think it was. I think it was much easier for not accepting the real problems.

The mindset and expectation, you know, than, than, uh, work and solve those issues. In 20, in 2009, sorry, in 2019, I got pregnant by mistake. I was devastated. I I wanted a child, but I was in between my jobs. I was just resigning from a, I just resigned from a job and in three months I should have started with.

With my new employer, my relationship with my partner was again in a, in a watershed moment again, I was living in a share house with another four people. I cried for days without knowing what to do. And I took the decision that the worst decision in my life. You know, with all my problems, I consider myself a strong, well organized, and structured person, but in that moment, I felt the weakest, lost person in the world.

So I had the abortion, and my work, so I had no idea what to do. I broke up again with my partner, and I drifted in a, in a miserable state of mind for I think almost one year. In the meantime, I took my meditation sessions and yoga. I started to talk again with the therapist and step by step I started to see the, the light at the end of the tunnel.

I, uh, and I now remember beginning of 2021 when I met with my partner and we discussed again about this. I know , I dunno, for the 10th or 11th time. And we both, uh, admitted that. What we did by now was wrong, inappropriate, and we thought of using a couple therapist, a relationship therapist, and see if we have a chance to be together or we should stop circling in this situation, you know, going back and forth with this relationship.

I went, uh, currently I live in London. I moved in, uh, 2018. So in 2021, at the beginning, after we had this discussion, I went to Romania for two months, I had a nose surgery and we were far away from each other and we, we both focused on what we really want from each other. I mean, do we really want something from each other?

To be honest, my partner told me that he already saw a change in me since I started with meditation and therapy. He now saw a calm person who started to feel gratitude for what she has. how she tried to forgive herself and her past mistakes. Uh, he saw caring and smiling person with no intention of judging anymore.

And, uh, on the other hand, I saw a man not building walls around him to defend himself of my criticism and constant complaints of my, uh, of my miserable life. After those months, you know, those two months in Romania, I came back in, uh, in the UK. And we both started to read books. We, we read, uh, the, um, the seven principles of, um, making marriage were of, uh, John Gottman.

And we started to do a couple exercises. We meditated together in the evening. And the most important, we decided to leave the share house and we moved together, just the two of us. And we saw how every day our communication improved. I also started a puncture session to manage my stress level and also fertility.

An important thing is that, uh, as I said, I always focused on my, my career and I wanted more and more and more. And in that in 2021, I think May or something, I received an offer of a new job. It was a much higher salary, a director role, and guess what? I decided. To reject the offer, I refused to put my career as priority.

I wanted to focus on me, on my relationship, and on my personal development. And also after we, we felt we are in the right moment of our relationship, we decided to talk again about having a child and to see a fertility doctor. You know, I, I know that I got pregnant, I knew that I got pregnant or pre pregnant once, but looking back at my past and, um, uh, the years I tried to, to conceive, I, uh, while I was with my husband and also with my, my partner, I thought that with, uh, it would be better to, to see a doctor and check our health, both our health.

So after, there’s not so many tests and scans, uh, with the fertility clinic. I remember it was Friday evening, quite late, I think it was after 9 p. m. when the fertility doctor called us and he said that he received all our tests and the results are not promising and our only way to get pregnant is IVF.

My AMH level was very low and my partner’s morphology, again, very low. So those were not good news. The problem is that the second day I had an acupuncture session. And I showed the acupuncture doctor, I showed the tests, the results, and he was like, but Alina, this all Not bad results, you know, I mean, your AMH is normal for your age.

And with Andre, I think we, I think we can change a little bit his, uh, his habits, you know, quit smoking, healthy food, an active life, but it’s not bad, you know. Oh, my God. I was so confused. You know, one doctor said something fertility doctor and this guy saying that, you know, it’s not so bad. And another thing important thing here is that that evening I discussed with my partner and he told me something that I Also felt, but I refused to accept we didn’t have a connection with a fertility doctor.

You know, he was not part of our team. We were not treated as a couple who really wants to have a child, but as two persons ready to pay for an IVF process. And that’s it. You know? And when he told me I was, you know what, I think you’re right. I mean, yes, we, they, he responded to all our questions, but he was not open and, you know, open to help us to, to, as we said, maybe if there is the results are not so bad, we would like for a period to try natural, you know, but he says, no way, no way you need an IVF.

So because of that, I decided to put on hold the IVF and continue to focus on my mindset. I was eager to find more about how to change the part that I have from my childhood. Uh, I wanted to see motherhood as something beautiful, fulfilling, and not as a tick the box because I was pressed by the family or, or by, by the age.

And this is how I discovered your book. And that’s how it happened. Yes, I. I think I found your book on internet just on my research. I read it and I loved it. I started also to listen to your podcast and I, I was shocked that I found myself in all those stories and fears. And, you know, I, I could have stayed with the book and, uh, focus on what I learned from it.

But I liked the tone from your book and podcast. I liked, uh, uh, your approach and being so outright. And I said, what the heck, I, I need this lady in my life, you know? So. I was ready to pay for an IVF. Why, why not pay some to pay something for, uh, for something that could improve, you know, my mindset and not, not only for my fertility journey, but for me as an intelligent, capable, strong woman, you know, and, um, I, this is how I, I, I started your, uh, sessions.

And, uh, to be honest, I was. So happy to attend all those Saturday sessions and to listen so many stories to learn from others experience To hear Rosanne yelling. Oh, yes No, hell yes to life and opportunities and hope and faith. I have to tell you here funny fact You became the crazy pink head lady for my partner

When he was hearing your voice. While I was, while I was, while I was listening. Podcast or sometimes uh, the Saturday sessions. He was like, hell yes. The lady, you know, he liked your attitude and power. I dunno, I dunno if you remember, but, um. I was in one of your sessions Saturday, and I told you about my decision to, to, to buy a motorbike.

Even if I was planning to have a child, you know that, you know what, go on, have a ride. You can listen, listen to the recording of this session, go and ride the bike and say it loud. I’m Alina fucking David, you bitches. My partner, my partner laughed so much when he heard. And. Starting from that moment, every time I was, uh, I was feeling down, he kept, he kept asking me, who are you?

Tell me, who are you? And I was, and I had to respond. I’m only in a fucking date with you bitches. That was funny. That was funny. And I think the other days or a week or a couple of weeks ago, my partner was kissing my bum and talk to the baby, uh, to my belly button. Yes. I know my partner. Talks to the baby through the belly button to be sure that the baby hears him.

Yeah, so, so he was talking to my baby and he said, Oh baby, you know, your mom is a little bit tired tonight and sad, but you know what? She’s having a fucking day with you, bitchy! Your mom is a badass! Alina, I mean, this is such, you know, this is such an amazing transformation and I mean, what an honor it is for us to be able to share in this because it takes a very strong and authentic woman to be able to own the fact that she was toxic and that is, I mean, it’s such a blessing to be around a woman that is willing to own her shit and to, to be able to look at her shortcomings and, and to find ways To, as you say, correct that, to, to develop it, to move past the toxicity into creating the life that you really want.

I mean, that’s extraordinary. A lot of people don’t even have the self awareness. To accept the parts of them, you know, that they’re messed up. They, they, they want to blame everybody else. They want to blame the doctor. They want to blame mother. They want to blame father. They want to blame exes. You know, I think that what you’re demonstrating for us here is truly the power of a woman taking ownership of her life, ownership, and responsibility.

And, and the fact that you connected these two things, the fact that your toxicity was blocking you from having the life, the baby that you wanted is just incredible. Yes. What do you think, what do you think it was in you in order to be able to do that? What was the switch that flipped for you to say, You know what?

I’ve got a problem. I need to get some help. Yes. So while in this journey and when I started the sessions with you, I started to also read the books you recommended. I started to read the Dr. Nortrop book. Am I pronouncing it correctly? Yes. And I had a mind blowing moment when I had to write down what I learned about motherhood from my mom, you know, I was blocked.

I was totally blocked. The first thing I do, I call my sister and I told her about this exercise. And, you know, she smiled and she told me, Have trust. Don’t be afraid. I know, you know, what to write. And she knew, you know, because she lives even worse traumas than, than me about her self esteem and trusting herself.

And Roseanne, I, um, I started to write. And right. And after three pages, I stopped and I wanted to go back and read and it was there. Nothing positive. I mean, nothing positive. Yes. My mom loves us like crazy and we know it. But the memories and what I learned about motherhood. Oh my God. We, me and my sister, we are born one, one day difference as a birthday.

I mean, I’m on 14 of May and she’s on 13 and we, we are five, five years difference between us. And every year we hear a story, same story from my mom. She will start like, um, I remember your birth, like it was yesterday. And you know, you hope for a story full of love and caring and strong, positive emotions, right?

I mean, but no, no, I remember your birth. Like it was yesterday. Oh, my God, that’s Long, painful labor, such a huge pain I felt for 36 hours and nobody cared about me. Your dad came drunk after I gave birth to see that I have girls instead of boys. Your grandma wanted boys and she was also upset. And I had surgeries to help you get out and I had infections and I stayed in the hospital for days.

Too much suffering. She told me with you, I wanted to be a girl because I refused to satisfy their desire of having a boy. But with your sister, I kind of wish to be a boy to close all those resentments. But my heart wanted another girl. So does this work? My mom’s words. Nothing like, wow. I was happy when I saw you.

I was dying to keep you in my arms. I couldn’t get enough of, of looking at you. No. Only negative part of this entire birthing process after raising about raising children, my mom was only, I had to keep you clean. I had to keep you keep the house clean because what people around us would say I had to offer you the best clothes and food not to show the world that we are poor.

You know, I didn’t have time to play with you or go to the park because I had to take care of the house. And the most painful is that my parents were in a constant fight and everything happened in front of us. All my mom crying nights were in our room and all her hate and frustration. was there, shared with her, uh, with her children.

So, um, after reading what I wrote, I realized that this is not what I wanted to be. I want to love my kids like my mom did. I wanted to take care of them like my mom did. But I wanted to create a bond with my kids. I wanted to have a positive, strong mindset. I wanted my kids to see me as a role model and not something they want to get rid of as soon as possible.

Oh, yeah. So this is how I, We don’t, we don’t play surface games in this program, right? We don’t, we don’t stay on the surface in this program. This isn’t just like woo woo nonsense. We, we go for the jugular. Yes. Yes. Yes. Well, so I mean, so I think it’s really powerful, Alina, that you’re sharing that essentially you were running around blocked because you had equated motherhood with suffering.

Yes, exactly. I mean, it’s incredible. And, and, but look at what happened because I remember in the program, so much of what you were doing was about allowing yourself to receive, to be able to be open to receiving the things that you want to forgive yourself, to allow yourself to have the motorbike that you wanted to be able to do things, to do motherhood, to do life, the Alina way.

Not the way that everybody else was wanting you to do it. Yes, you’re right. Yes, you’re right. And realizing this, I went back to the year when I took that decision about the abortion and I realized that I was influenced by my mom because I was financially independent. I had a good career. I could have had a house.

I mean, I could have, it could have been easy for me to raise a child by my, by my own. You know, yes, I had some issues with my relationship, but my mom said, I will support you, but what people will say. You know, um, and I don’t know because I, I’ve never pay attention with people’s opinion about me or something, but I don’t know because I was in that.

Suffering. And I have no idea. I have no idea. But I realized that also my mom was a factor that there in my, in my decision, the abortion and it’s interesting, Alina, that, you know, because for you, this journey really became about a healing, not just a physical healing, but this was really about an emotional, mental, spiritual, emotional.

Yeah. And relationship healing, because in a very short period of time, you were healing your relationship, you were forgiving the past, you were making peace with a relationship with your mother that is a complicated one, you know, not not unloving, but certainly complicated and really allowing yourself to become something really different.

Yes. Yes, indeed. Indeed. In a way, I was always conscious about, because since I, I remember since I left my parents house and I went for, for university, I always said that I don’t want to, to have the same, uh, life, the same relationship as my parents. And I got married and I, it was always in my mind. I don’t want to do the same.

I don’t want to do the same, but I was doing the same. You know, I was doing the same. I was that toxic, judgmental, I was criticizing my husband, I remember. And he was doing nothing! I mean Just because he was not, I don’t know, he didn’t do the dishes or he didn’t put his sweater in the wardrobe but on, on the bed.

I mean, and I was young and instead of enjoying my life and my relationship because I was so in love, I was just focusing on this. The house should be clean, everything should be in order, I should receive guests and the guests should see my house that is clean, you know, this kind of thing. So what is that?

It’s a pattern. It’s a pattern, Alina. And, and I, man, I, I love that you’re raising this because this is a red pill. This is a real wake up call. I think for a lot of us to be willing to look at our pattern, to be willing to look at our patterns and ask ourselves a question. Is this pattern actually leading to the life that I really want to live?

Is this working for me? Because most people don’t even do that. Most people just accept that this is how life is and life is suffering. My journey has to be fucking miserable without being open to the kind of things that you’re open to. Because I remember when you came, I remember the Alina at the beginning of the program.

And I remember the Alina at the end of that eight weeks, because very shortly thereafter, something rather magical happened. Yeah. Tell us about that. Yeah. During those sessions and after those sessions, Me and my partner, we continued our investment in a good communication. I think this is the key of the, of a good relationship.

And I started to relax and really enjoy my life. I started to, and I think this is the most important, I started to be grateful. For what I have and not for what my parents would have wanted me to have, you know, I started to smile. I started to admire myself as a woman, a caring, positive woman, and not that woman desperate of, uh, for attention and bossy and perfectionist.

No, after I finished, uh, after I finished the session with, uh, with you, I remember I had, um, we had a call. It was. two weeks before leaving to Santorini to Greece with my partner. This is, this is another, this is another advice I, I took for, I took from you, uh, This was like, enjoy your time with your partner.

And to be honest, this vacation was booked during the sessions, uh, uh, the sessions weeks with you. So, um, so I said, I was, I was in the call with you lying in the middle of the bed and crying about pandemic and my social life, crying about not being able to wear heels to the office because of the working from home.

And I remember you, you laughed and said. Okay, Alina. Let’s make a plan on a short term. Go and take, go and take the G membership. You told me about it. Plan a day per week, uh, to start going into the office in London. And for now, just focus on your holiday in Greece. Don’t think of something else. And let’s talk again when you are back from, from Greece.

And we did. So after I came back to Greece. We had a talk and the talk was about me being pregnant.

You work fast woman. And I remember you posted a picture of one of our fearless bags. It was in Santorini and I, and I was like, Oh my gosh, it’s incredible. Because think about what you did, Alina. You were so worried that this baby wasn’t going to come in. You were, you know, struggling to, you know, get, get yourself in order and, and receive and be open to the fact that you could have it all.

You could have a great relationship. You could have a wonderful career. You could do motherhood on your terms. And you could love yourself. Like you could have all of those things. You’re living proof that a woman from Romania moving to the UK could have exactly what she wants. Like, do you realize that?

Yes, yes, I am. I am. You have a motorbike and a motorbike. Yes, I’ll never forget when you sent me that picture. I can’t, I can’t write it right now. Yes. But you’re, you’re living proof, Alina, of the power of doing the work. You really were willing, I mean because look, you’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re funny, adventurous.

You know, educated, you could have easily said, you know what, all this mindset stuff is nonsense, right? This is nonsense. The doctors are going to get me pregnant. I don’t have to worry about any of this, but that’s not what you did. What you did is you created a scenario where you covered your basis physically.

And. Mentally. And look at you now, because you didn’t have to do IVF. Yes, I didn’t. You know, I wanted to send an email to, to the fertility doctor and, uh, say, Look, I’m pregnant, natural, you know? Yeah, and also Despite, like, think about it, Alina, like, let’s put that into some context, because you were told you had low AMH, partner had bad morphology, They said, I think your words were not promising.

Yes. Yes. And look at what you did. Yeah. And only after, so this with the doctor, with the fertility doctor happened at the end of June and in, uh, September in October, I was pregnant. That’s incredible. And you did. Yeah. And so you were pregnant. Really quick after the, if I remember correctly, it was fairly quick after the program, you were pregnant.

Yeah. I ended up the program at the end of August. Yes. That is incredible. But you know, Rosanne, I was, I really liked the, the, those sessions and I took it very seriously. I mean, I went through all those modules. And even in, I think, a beginning of, just before Santorini, I wanted to go again through all those, uh, uh, modules.

So I think I started with the first two modules and I went back to all my, uh, answers to, to your questions in those modules. And I, I tried to make a update because I said, maybe let’s see what change in the meantime in my, with, with, with my mindset. And I realized that I started, yeah, I started to add more and more to those, uh, to those questions and to think more about that.

So, um, I never. I never thought of, um, I don’t know, thinking of my, uh, my faith. No, I knew that I have nothing with the religion or God or, but I never thought about it, you know? And when I did that module, I was, Whoa, I blocked, I blocked myself in front of this God for me. It’s God, you know, just because I have these traumas from.

From my childhood or because I went through a divorce or because I had an abortion, you know, so I, I refused to, to, uh, to be close to God just because I blame him because of my miserable life, you know, so as, as you said, I was blaming everyone, but not me, but it’s not about blaming. It’s not about mistakes.

It’s this is a personal development. I think it is a personal development. I love that. I love that. You’re like, it’s just personal development. I mean, but, but that’s such a powerful thing, Alina. And I’m so grateful to you. And I know that the women listening to this are going to be grateful to you as well, because having come from the background that you have come from, you were able.

To heal. You were able to set instead of being bitter and angry and and blaming everybody. You learned a way to be able to say this is just personal development. You were not in denial. You owned exactly what happened. You forgave it. You’re moving forward and look at you. How many weeks pregnant are you today?

I’m 25. Oh my goodness. Oh my gosh. And that bump is adorable. Well, so what are some of the things that you would want women to know? Like what are some. Words of wisdom because, you know, you’ve come so far and I think it would be such a blessing for the women listening to to hear some words of wisdom for you from you about maybe some key things to keep in mind as they live their journey.

Considering my experience with the past, I could say. Ladies, look at your past. You know, are you, are you living the past? Are you, uh, living your mom’s life, uh, and, um, um, her expectations from life? Are there any motherhood dramas there that impacted your life? Are you trying to comply with your parents or friends expectations?

And if yes, if yes, it means you identified. You use a word for this, sorry, baby brain, the word saboteur. You’ve got some saboteurs, yes.

Take a look at it, of this, of the past, and Is this what you really want? I mean, do you, do you want something better from you? And I think, I think that we should learn to take only the positive parts of the motherhood from my, from our uh parents, from from our mom, and create our own behaviors and beliefs.

I’m sure that each of us can do that because we are all unique, you know, and we should build a life we enjoy. A life where, uh, a life where the baby comes and, um, a life where, no, a life where when the baby, where the baby comes and when he wants and, and he will come only when he sees that you are ready, you know, he sees that you, uh, you love yourself and your life.

And, uh, he sees that you are capable of anything, of anything, only to be happy. And the most important ladies, I think, gratitude is everything. As long as we are not okay with what we have and we don’t enjoy it, nothing good will happen. You know, I mean, or even if, even if will happen, we won’t see it because we are more focused on have higher expectations or Live, of course, a miserable life, uh, full of complaints.

I mean, this is what I did, you know? And now when I’m grateful for what I have and I enjoy every moment, come on, I don’t have a perfect life. I mean, I have days when I struggle financially, where I have days when I would like to be, to live in a house with the five bedrooms, not two, or I would like to live in center of London and not in the, I don’t know, the 50 kilometers from London, you know, but I live 50 kilometers from London, but I live in the middle of nature.

Yeah. I’m two steps away from the forest. You know, this is what I’m grateful for. Not because I’m in the city. I’m not in the city center of London. So, uh, yeah, I think this is, um, this is my, uh, this is my advice for, for, for every lady who tries to, to, to get pregnant. To focus on yourselves first. Yeah.

Focus on yourself. Forget about comparing yourself with others and copying others. Believe in you and. Your power to manage your life in a positive way, trust your guts and go for opportunities, smile to life and enjoy your relationship with your partner and friends and family. And of course, be that person you would like your child to see and be proud of.

You don’t want to, you don’t want your child to see a weak, scared pessimist. And always complaining person. I think I’m ready to be a mom. I can tell it’s obvious you’re ready to be a mom. I mean, Alina, thank you so much for sharing this with all of us because the transformation that you are describing and frankly the decision because you made a decision that you were going to be different.

You made a decision that you were not going to repeat old patterns. You also made a decision. To take the good from what had happened in your life, focus on that release and forgive the bad and move on and look at you today. I mean, the relationship you have with your partner, he’s talking through your belly button to talk to the baby.

I mean, it’s like such a different world. It’s such a different experience. And you have this because you were the woman who, who was willing to become that. for sharing that with us. Yeah. You remember when I had the interview with you, uh, Rosanne, I told you that, yes, I want to have this, um, uh, to, to, to go to this coaching sessions with you and not only for the fertility, but also for my personal, as I said, my personal development and.

I see this transformation has an impact, not only on the fact that I became pregnant, but now just today, just today, I had an acupuncture session with the doctor who is my, is part of my team. He was always part of my team and I told him, look, I have nothing to complain. I feel full of energy and trust me, I will go to a C section because I have some issues there.

So. The doctors told me that I need a C section. I can’t go natural. I was sad at the beginning and then I said, this is it. What can I do? You know, there are so many ladies in the world having C sections. So as long as me and the baby, we are healthy and good, then it’s not a problem. But I feel, I feel positive and full of energy.

Because I continued with the session with this process, you know, I continue to read the books. I continue to, to, to listen podcast and this, this keeps me positive. And I think this is helpful for my, uh, for my pregnancy. If I have a day when I’m too busy at work and I’m only working and I don’t have time for yoga when I don’t have time for a workout, I start to have cramps.

So I start to feel dizzy, you know, and said, okay, I. Stop doing what I enjoy. So the next day I will do what I enjoy. And I can see the difference. So, uh, yeah. Your body is speaking truth. Alina, your body is keeping you honest. Your body’s like, you got to stretch me. You got to feed me. You got to rest me. You got to hydrate me.

I mean, I think this is beautiful Alina. And, and I got to tell you. You know, I can, it’s always very clear to me when a woman was, is ready to make a change. That’s why I asked that, you know, the, you know, the questions that I ask in the interviews, that’s why we even interview people, because if you’re not ready to make a change, you know, you can’t force it, but you were ready and look at you today.

And, and what an honor it has been to be by your side. So thank you so much for sharing this with us. I know it’s going to be touching lives all over the world, and there’s going to be so many women inspired by your story. You’re just glowing. I can barely stand it. Look at that smile. And I just can’t. Yes, and you’re going to have Of course, I’m Alina fucking David!

Yeah, that’s right! Alina fucking David! So you’re going to have to make sure to send me an update with that picture of that beautiful baby when, when your baby’s born. So thank you so much, my love. Appreciate you. Thank you also, uh, Roseanne. Thank you. Loves, is it just me or did you want to just hug Alina so tight and just celebrate with her this incredible shift in not only her life, But in her journey, a woman completely coming to a place of peace with where she’s been, who she is, and ultimately where she’s headed in this life.

That was one of the bravest conversations I think any of my ladies has ever had, and every single one of them is incredibly brave. But when we get to a place where we can really own our shit and really own our role in our own suffering so that we can use that power to turn the trajectory of our lives around, it’s truly inspiring.

And it just, I just shake my head sometimes. I’m like, I have such the incredible good fortune to be around women that are making massive changes in their lives, and I love each and every one of them for so many different reasons. Loves, it’s my sincere hope that you are taking each and every one of these kind and generous women’s stories and tucking them into your back pocket because you know what?

It is so cheap and easy to find negative shit out there. These are living examples. These women and their babies. Are living examples of what’s possible when you make the conscious decision to think, believe, and take action like a woman who succeeds on this journey. That means that anything is possible.

Women who have been told, oh, IVF is the only way, are demonstrating, uh, uh, uh. It’s a wonderful way, but it ain’t the only way. Can you see why these ladies beat the odds? Just like Alina did. It’s truly incredible. And if you want to learn what I taught Alina, my fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes, to covering their bases, mind and body.

So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are committed to success to apply for your interview for this program. Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodologies help women around the world make their mom dreams come true.

Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby girl, you got to gape a hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast.

Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.