EP197 When A “Different Path” Is 10,000x Better: Kelly’s Story

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

We all think we know the BEST way for our babies to show up. What if a different path to your baby is actually 10,000x better than you can even imagine? Kelly’s story is living proof. Learn how Kelly went from repeated IVF failure and tinkering with the idea of giving up, to the blessing […]

The post EP197 When A “Different Path” Is 10,000x Better: Kelly’s Story appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey. Just like I did get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, badassery, and loads of hell. Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast episode 197. When a different path is 10, 000 times better. Kelly’s story. Hey loves, whoo! Can you believe it? It is already December, girls! Already December! And I am truly delighted.

I mean, and I just love rounding out the year with so much positivity, so much excitement, so much expectation, looking forward to your pregnant, present, and your fertility future! And you know what? I want to help you keep your vibration high. I’m so jacked and excited for all of you and what you’re going to create in 2023.

So I thought that one of the best ways to do that is to continue to sling amazing, miraculous, miracle mama stories your way. To help you really stay focused because it’s really easy to get distracted this time of year and this is why I’m so just giddy to be sharing Kelly’s story with you this week and you got to admit this whole year has been chock full of amazing, incredible stories of my Miracle Mama’s like, dude.

Can you see why I have the best fricking job in the world? I get to work with these women. These women that don’t take no for an answer. These women who don’t give up for shit. And these women who move past their fear, they get control of their mindset. They start thinking, believing and taking action in an entirely different way and begin to create different results.

This is logical and linear. This isn’t just a group of women all woo wooing out, laying around on the couch, just hoping to get pregnant. No, these are women that are taking control. Of their fertility destiny and making big changes in themselves, the way they live their lives, the way they live their journey and getting past the story so they can step into being the woman who succeeded even before they succeed.

And that’s a critical aspect of all this. And that’s one of the common threads that you’ve heard me talk about before. My ladies. All are united in a very similar characteristic, and that is they don’t allow other people’s hang ups, other people’s nonsense, other people’s judgments to stand in the way of the life that they are truly creating.

They move past the fear, doubt, and negativity that keeps most people stuck because they choose Their vision for their lives over their fear. Okay. They choose their babies over their fear. And that causes them to make a different quality of decision. And you’re going to hear that in my beloved Kelly, she’s going to be sharing with you.

You know, there were, there were some times she thought maybe she didn’t need to have kids. She didn’t want to have kids. Maybe she just wanted to travel instead. That’s a big old pile of garbage. And we laugh about that in the interview, but you’re going to hear like she fell into that place where she was.

Almost going to talk herself out of it because she was afraid, but in her heart, she knew there was a baby for her. So you’re going to hear how Kelly overcame repeated IVF failure and found a path to her baby that was 10, 000 times better than she even imagined. So. Turn this one up. If you’re struggling, you think your baby won’t come.

Ooh, girl, you’re going to want to definitely listen to this one. So here is my conversation with my beloved Kelly. She’s going to inspire the shit out of you like all of my ladies do. Really take what my beloved Kelly has to say to heart because there is a miracle out there for you and it may look a little different than you thought, but it is always 10, 000 times better.

Here’s my conversation with my beloved Kelly. We are going to jump right in because I know you got stuff going on, so we’ll just dive right in love. So why don’t we do this? Okay. Why don’t we acquaint all of the ladies listening with how you found yourself on this journey and we’ll start there. Okay.

Yeah. So yeah, so that’s how to do a short version. I get too long. So I’m, I’m 45 years old. I’m, I’ll be 46 this Thursday on Thanksgiving. So my birthday week, but anyways, met my husband when we were in our early twenties. So we were young little kids. And, you know, we’re both still figuring out life. We were, I considered we were both late bloomers.

We were kind of figuring out college and like what we wanted to do. So, you know, starting a family was like way off in the horizon for us. So even like throughout our thirties, we just not on our radar. We were very career focused. My husband’s a serial entrepreneur, started multiple companies. I was, you know, trying to get my career off the ground and, um, we were just doing what it took to kind of, um, make it, we live in the DC area, which is super competitive.

So we were focusing on that and getting master’s degrees, just kind of doing whatever it takes to kind of make it. So probably it wasn’t until maybe I was 35 where we thought, Oh, maybe we might start thinking about a family. Then we didn’t really start trying until our late thirties. So nothing really happened.

Not really super surprised because we were, we were older at that point. So then nothing happened for about a year. I think I was like 39 and. My doctor said, why don’t you go get checked out? So we said, okay. So I was 40. So that’s what she was on 16. I was 40 or 2017 was early 2017. Went to fertility clinic.

Came back completely healthy. We’re both very healthy, you know, workout, exercise are both thin, like eat really healthy. So they, they, nothing was, they saw no red flags or anything. So basically laid out our options. You can just kind of keep trying. You can do some kind of less, you know, minimally invasive things or go straight to IVF.

Both kind of being like, we like to get our goals, meet these goals, set goals and meet them. We’re like, let’s go right to IVF. Cause we were older at that point. I was 40. My husband’s 38. So we jumped right into IVF. So like I said, this was 2017. So I thought, Oh, we got this. Like, you know, I had great insurance, which was another perk covered like five cycles and we were in a spot where we could afford it.

So I thought we got this, we’ll, you know, we’ll be done and I’ll be pregnant in like a year and you know, that’ll be it. So first cycle wasn’t the greatest, you know, only got like eight eggs went into the results and we got no normal embryos. And it was like, a shot in the gut. It was kind of like, wow, this is really happening.

And up to this point, like, I didn’t really like, which is weird to say, I didn’t feel like I’m not someone who’s infertile. Like I didn’t associate myself with someone. I don’t know why. I think I had this thing in my mind, like some, a woman going through like infertility, by the time you get to IVF infertility, like you’re really desperate to have a kid and like all this.

And I didn’t feel like that was me. I don’t know if I just was naive or it just. So I wasn’t even registering with me at that point that we were like going through infertility treatments or anything. So it’s kind of not, it wasn’t real yet. I’ll I’ll say it that way. So, and then to kind of like jump ahead, we did.

Another cycle, they changed the protocol, which they often do after the first one, did a second cycle, got more eggs, which was great. And then we got one normal embryo. So it was like, Oh, we got one and then transferred it and failed. So I think we transferred it early 2018. So it was like another failure.

And I was like, okay. And then in the summer of 2018, my mom kind of out of the blue, she hadn’t been in good health. And then she ended up passing away very unexpectedly. So 2018, we didn’t do anything else. It was just kind of like, Whoa, it was like a major life moment there. So then moved to 2019. We did another transfer, got pregnant, very excited and myth theory to read at first.

Ultrasound was not viable. So at this point it was like all the failures were racking up. So I will say by. By the end of 2019, I was in the worst, probably the worst, definitely the worst place I’ve ever been in my life. I was consumed by fear and anxiety. We decided and got to the point in the fall, like October, 2019, where I couldn’t even think about doing another cycle.

The thought of like going through just the physical part of this, of everything you do with IVF, I couldn’t even think about doing it. Not to mention I was just, my head was, I was just spiraling really. And I, looking back, it was IVF. It was also, I know now looking back, it was. Like dealing with the grief from my mom, which I hadn’t really dealt with yet.

So that was like all kind of coming together. And then I found you. So I knew I had to like pull myself out. I was like in this deep spiral. I was, like I said, full of anxiety. I was losing weight. I wasn’t eating right. I was just not in a good headspace. I even tried therapy. That wasn’t a good fit. It wasn’t what I needed.

I didn’t need to sit there and talk about things I needed, like. I needed somebody to kick me in the ass, basically, like, that’s what I like to shake me. Like, can you tell you got to get out of this? Like, I was like, in such a dark place. And I was like, not living my life. I was like, you get so consumed with IVF and then you don’t, you just stop living.

Like I stopped doing things I enjoyed. I wasn’t cooking as much. I wasn’t going out enjoying. We just, you’re just almost like in a holding pattern because that’s where you are. You’re constantly. Either getting ready for a cycle or you’re in a cycle, you’re coming out of a cycle. And it was just, I knew I had to get off, get off that kind of conveyor belt for a little while and kind of figure out what we wanted to do.

But before I found you, we were in the place where we were like trying to talk ourselves out of even moving forward with even having a baby, it was kind of like we were so devastated by so much failure. It was like, Oh, we don’t even want to do this anymore. We can’t kind of take this anymore. But then we really had a kind of like a come to Jesus moment where we really admitted, no, we really do want this.

But it’s really hard and what are we going to do? So we decided, well, we weren’t ready to give up on the IVF yet. It was just, I think, I know everybody has their point where you’re like, I am either at a breaking point where I’m either going to go forward or I’m not. We just weren’t ready to give up on that yet.

So we decided we’re going to go forward. And then, uh, So when I said I found you, I was kind of researching, I knew I needed to find something to fix my mind, my head. I knew I had to find that and I stumbled upon you somehow and I was like, this is exactly what I needed. I started listening to your podcast and you just spoke, we’re speaking my language, exactly how just everything you’re kind of, I guess your approach where you have this amazing, it’s kind of a mix of like kicking you in the face and the ass, but also like empowering at the same time.

So that’s when I was November 2019 when I reached out to you and then that’s when I started your program. So it was like November 2019 through January of 2020. So we knew we were going to move forward with IVF, came out of your program in January. It was probably, you know, the best, one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life.

It was really scary going through your program, I’ll say, because you make you face your fears head on. But it’s like empower, you know, empowering, everything inspirational, the hearing the other women every week was just, that was like the highlight. It was just to hear, even if you’re not even going through the exact same thing, you, a lot of times have the same saboteurs, as you call them, or fears.

It was just like, you connect with these women every week. I’d, you know, be hoping to see that some of the same women, so I could find out like, Oh my God, like, you know, what’s going on with them. Did they kind of get through the problem they were facing? So that was Incredible. And then you kind of have to put in practice on your own.

And it is a little scary coming out, but I will say it did. It gave me what I needed. It gave me this like structure where I started like I started getting up at the same time every day, like started working out every morning. Then I journal and meditate and it like gave me this structure to go through my every day.

Then the tools I will say to like combat all those negative thoughts that you’re constantly, you know, coming at you every day. Mine, you know, being in my mid almost mid forties at that time, you know, the ticking clock was like time was like my biggest saboteur. It was like, always felt like time was running out.

Time is running out that. And then I always thought people thought it was crazy. Like, oh my God, she’s still going through this. Isn’t she going to give up already? And I said, I always thought every time I’d see like Especially someone who knew about it, like they’d seen a year later, like somebody at work and be like, Oh my God, she’s not pregnant yet.

Like that’s always was going through my head, but with working with you and your program, you can’t, you do push past that. It’s really hard. Every day I had a, every day I’d get up and go for my walk and I’d listen to your podcast and it would like give me the strength to like keep going because it’s hard when you don’t have, when you just, it’s like the unknown, you just don’t know what’s going to happen.

And like I said, this was by the time I got your program was January, 2020. And of course we’re like, okay, we’re going to move forward with more. More IVF and then COVID hit and our clinic, my clinic closed down. So that was like, and that was a real test of the ticking clock. Cause it was like, Oh my God, like we finally got to this great place and then everything shuts down and you have, you can’t do anything.

But in the same time, we were also decided to move. So this was, we moved right when COVID hit like in April. So a couple of months after I got out of your program, we moved, we built a new house. So that was part of a lesson I got out of your program too, was I remember you told a story about a woman who kept like living her life and achieving all her goals while she was trying to have her baby and then she had her baby and she had this great life that she had set up for herself.

And that was part of the whole, our mindset when we decided to move and build a house and we’re thinking, are we nuts to be doing this? Like we have so much going on. And then we said, no, this is, we got to, as like Chrisanne says, you got to keep forward and live your life basically. And like, go after your dreams.

And we both kind of just doubled down in 2020, even through COVID, our careers like took off. My husband like built out a company, which he just sold. I like took on, you know, more responsibility at work and it just like, it really like helped us sail through that, that part of. Our journey, because, you know, like I said, everything closed down to my clinic did reopen in like May and we did do two more cycles knowing that we probably likely weren’t going to get the results.

It wasn’t surprising. We didn’t get any embryos. They I’m a good egg producer. It’s just obviously quality was an issue at that point. So it wasn’t super surprising, still hard. It’s very hard to kind of like come to that, that realization that that kind of you have to not have to, we decided to close that book.

But I think also going through your program, we had already had these conversations about like, what do we really want, which is super important. I think any woman going on this journey, you have to like, what do you really want? I know for me, it was like, I really wanted to be pregnant. That was like an experience I didn’t want to give up on.

So that kind of led us, then we knew like, what we, what were we going to do next? So we kind of closed the book on IVF with, with my eggs. We. knew that donor egg IVF was our next option. So this is like, by this time, it’s like August, September 2020. So we jumped right into donor egg IVF. It was a little weird in the beginning.

I will say anybody who hasn’t gone through it or experienced it, it’s kind of bizarre. You’re like shopping for someone to give you an egg. But once you kind of get over that, it was like, excite, then it got exciting. And then it was, so by December we had a donor, it took us about two months. And then she cycled in February of 2021, February, March, I think.

And it was a completely different experience because it was like, I wasn’t going through the IVF. I didn’t have to go through all the pain, the physical pain. And then it was to actually get good news at each step. If anybody familiar with IVF, we have so many steps, you know, the retrieval and then fertilization and then embryos.

We had never really gone that far. We only, you know, got one embryo, so it was like super exciting to like, oh my God. We actually ended up with nine embryos, which was, we had never gotten numbers like that. So it was very successful. It was pretty painless. So then at that point it was in our hands of what to, you know, do the transfer, which we did in August of 2021.

And then we just had our baby girl in April. So we got pregnant off the first transfer. It was, yeah, a whirlwind. So it’s been, it was five years, I guess, our journey. But yeah, I, I will say in the beginning of when we first went to see the fertility doctor, and he mentioned all the different options. He even mentioned, you know, adoption and, and he said, don’t have IVF.

And I had to like control myself to not have a reaction. Cause I was thinking that is something out of a sci fi movie. Like I was like, that is not something I will ever, ever do. Never, never thought I’d have to do, you know, be faced with that decision. And I. Don’t I would never probably gotten to that point if I hadn’t gone through your program because it was just not something it was facing that kind of defining what do you want and it was like, well, I want a baby and I want to be but I want to be pregnant with my baby.

So it makes it kind of makes you mentally map out what you, you kind of the decisions you have to make so when you get to a fork in the road you’re. It’s like you almost have that strength to keep going because you already have thought about what the end goal is and the end goal was a baby. So, yeah, so that’s in a nutshell.

Okay, yeah, I mean there’s like so many bombs you were dropping and all of that. So we’re going to back up the bus a little bit. Yeah, of course. But I mean, I, I really want to, to kick around this idea about knowing what you want, because it is so critical. I mean, nobody believes me when I tell them, like, you know, or when I ask that intensely annoying question, what do you want?

Right? Because, you know, one of the ways that I think women really set themselves up to struggle on this journey beyond the already intense emotional aspects of this journey is number one, a lack of clarity, right? An extreme lack of clarity, but then to the kind of self sabotaging stories we tell because of that lack of clarity.

Like, what do you think about that? Because I just feel like. What you’ve shared with us here is such a powerful example of that. Because the way you just said, it’s just sort of rolled off your tongue. Well, what do you want? I know what I want the pregnancy experience. I mean, like, so it’s like, what are your thoughts on that?

Yeah, I think, and I think me and my husband had those conversations, especially I remember once I started your program, we kind of, I, I don’t know if it was, might’ve been one of the, like one of the exercises, but it was talking about that, like, well, you know, you want a baby and then it’s. You know, if you want a baby, then it’s like, well, there’s so many options of ways of getting that.

Cause will you mean like getting off the IVF train? It’s like, you’ll do anything to get off that train when it’s not, when it’s not happening for you. So it’s, you really do have to be clear. Cause obviously you could go the, you know, there’s adoption route, there’s fostering, there’s so many wonderful options, but to be, like I said, to me, I really wanted to be pregnant.

That was just like, I always kind of. It wasn’t like I dreamt of being pregnant, it’s just I wanted that experience of just being pregnant, of having a baby bump and like, you know, buying maternity clothes and just all that. So, and that was so important to me so that when that’s something you really, really want, then you have to, if you have to open yourself up to options you would have not considered before.

And for us, that was donor egg IVF. I think if maybe being pregnant wasn’t as important to me, maybe we would have looked at other options, but that was just something that’s super important to me. And like you said, if you don’t sit and have that, like really think about what you want, like then maybe you stay doing something like maybe I would have kept doing IVF over and over and over again because I thought, well, I have to have a baby with my eggs.

I can’t have, you know, that’s the only option for me. But like, like I said, then you really ask yourself, well, it’s really not, it’s not that important. It’s really, I want to experience pregnancy and be a mother. Does it really matter? Is it really that important to you that it’s, that it’s, you know, your DNA.

Right. And then just myself doing research about that, you know, donor and doing a lot of reading about it. It’s like. If you realize that’s really not, that’s not what’s important to you. It’s not the genetic component. That’s important. That wasn’t, I realized right off the bat, like that doesn’t, that doesn’t matter, even though it seemed, it seems really, you know, you’re heartbroken.

But by the time we got to that point, it’s like, I really wasn’t, I really wasn’t that devastated as I thought I would have been to have to kind of give up on my own, like, no, I have this other option that will get, will give me what I want, which is to be pregnant and have a baby, right? Well, and it’s also, I think this served you really well in the conversation, because early on you were saying, you know, you guys ended up having a conversation that maybe we don’t want kids.

Can you imagine like had that fear, had that meat down? Cause like, I really think that on this journey we have, there is a fork in the road, as you were saying, there’s, there is a choice that you’re making a pivot point where you either pivot toward the goal. Or you pivot completely away from the goal and like don’t achieve it.

And for everyone that pivot point is going to be different, but think about how much different or how differently you, you approach this having worked on your mindset ahead of time. I mean, can you imagine? Oh yeah, I still remember that day, like sitting and my, my husband, he’s very honest. He was just so worried.

He wanted, he’s like, I wanted my wife back. He had lost me to the IVF rollercoaster, you know, I was like a shell of myself and it He said, well, I don’t, I don’t want to do this anymore. Okay. You know, I, and I was like, Oh my God, this, you know, and I thought, well, I don’t want to do, I’m thinking, I don’t want to do this IVF anymore.

And then was convinced that we literally sat there and we’re convincing ourselves why we shouldn’t have a kid. Oh, we’re too old. What if something happens and then, you know, the baby, God forbid, the baby wasn’t healthy, it’ll be, you know, devastating, all these things we now, you know, we, we don’t have kids, we can free ourselves up to do other stuff in life travel.

We don’t even like to travel. And here we’re talking about how we’re going to travel. We’re really trying to like justify this decision. And I remember the next day I was just couldn’t get it out of my, it was like I was consumed with that because I thought, Oh my God, we made this decision. I kind of made this decision and it was not sitting well with me and I kept bringing it back up.

And then we got in this huge kind of emotional argument because he’s like, we made this decision and I’m like, well, I don’t think, I know I’m, I’m, I’m, I’m not on board basically like, no, this is, I don’t think I’m on board. And I remember we went for a walk and we, I, we just kept talking and he sat down and just, you know, burst into tears and says, I really, I really do want a family.

He’s like, I’m just terrified. He’s like, I just couldn’t take, it was just getting so hard, you know? And so, and I, you know, it’s like, well, how we know, what if we just keep going? Like we have, you know, I think at that point we had two more cycles left in our insurance and I was. Even though it’s the weirdest at an arbitrary number, it’s like, well, let’s just exhaust this and we’ll see where we are.

And it just kind of felt like we weren’t done. I know for me, even though it’s so physically hard to go through it, I didn’t feel done with IVF yet. It’s kind of like, you almost have to give your eggs a chance, but it’s like, I didn’t feel like I had given myself enough chances yet. So, yeah. So that day we just said, okay, we’re going to go forward.

And then that’s been, that was right before I. Found you in your program and it was so I was already committed to going forward and it was just like I just needed the tools to get there. I knew my mind was, you know, it was like I was sabotaging myself as you like to say, like we all do. Also interesting Kelly was knowing your own heart.

And being able to hear truth, you knew you weren’t done. It also seems to me that that had to play a role in you moving into the donor conversation, because I think there’s a lot of stigma and a lot of. Really, it’s a lack of information and that we run around with, which causes us to judge a scenario, which is like, I mean, we don’t know what we’re talking about.

No, we get really. Possessive over our own DNA and like really tell all kinds of bizarre stories that people will know, you know, and as if anyone actually cares and if they do, you don’t, why would you have those people in your circle? Right? Exactly. Yeah. So I would love it because of your unique perspective and because you’re so.

Eloquent about this. Like, what was it like to make that choice? I mean, you know, you had gone through the program. You had found all these things, you know, out about yourself really out in some of these stories. How did that help you in coming to the decision that you did? Yeah, I mean, I think going through your program, like you basically it’s a lot about for me.

It’s it was accepting where I was like, this is my path. You know, it’s not looking backwards and even looking backwards. It’s like, It’s not like I even have regret because I didn’t, I didn’t want kids when I was in my thirties, like I really didn’t, I always saw myself as an older mom, so it’s not, I can, it wasn’t, my situation wasn’t that looking back and saying, Oh my God, I screwed up my life, I should have done this earlier, I didn’t feel that way, so it’s accepting like I made this, I made a choice to kind of start this journey later in life and this is where I am, so it’s really coming, realizing that, yeah.

Almost not for forgiving myself, but just allowing that, like, that’s my reality and accepting that’s where I am. And just like how you let’s like, you just have to, you know, keep the faith or, you know, you always call it Gus, all that. And that really resonated with me. It’s like, you just have to keep moving.

So I knew what my goal was. It was, you know, to get pregnant and have a baby. So it was just, I knew the options. It was just like, keep moving forward. And I had done. a lot of research on donor while we were going through our last cycle of IVF because I, I kind of had a feeling that’s where we were going and I just wanted to know more about it.

And the more I learned about it, the less scary it was. And like you said, I didn’t know anything about it going in at all. And so I read a lot about it and was like, it didn’t seem as scary as I thought it was. So kind of by the time it was to get to that decision, it was just the next logical step. And then I will say it was a little weird in the beginning.

It’s kind of weird. It’s you’re looking for, you’re, you’re, you’re shopping, really. That’s how it is. Right. Right. Kind of shop. But once. You kind of get for that initial weirdness and we did it where we went through like a Service that basically did all their searching for us. So you give them your criteria They search for you and just send you profiles which made it a lot easier took the stress out of it because looking on your own it’s just You just don’t know where to go.

There’s hundreds of clinics or, you know, donor clinics and stuff. So it really helped to have someone like basically lead us through the whole entire process. So it made it way less stressful, but I will say it just, it almost became. Fun. I don’t know. I think it was because I was so, it’d be fun. Like, who are you Kelly?

That suddenly getting pregnant, receiving this beautiful gift from another woman, a blessing that that could possibly be fun. Exactly. And I think, I think it was because I, I wasn’t the one, I was so relieved to not have to go through that again. It’s like all this just. I literally, I remember we, you know, we got the last cycle, got the results and it was like, okay, we’re done.

You know, we kind of shed our tears and then it was like, we’re done. I literally went and threw all my medication away, threw all the needles away, threw everything away. And I was like, I am done with this, like done with this. I’m not looking back. I know where we’re going. And so no, that, that was just, I think it was very freeing for me.

And then. My husband actually struggled more with the donor part than I did because for him, he was like, I want to, you know, he had to get over the fact that he wasn’t going to have a, you know, a baby with me, with me, even though we did have a baby together, it was like, not my, my, you know, egg, I guess. But then he got over it too.

Cause it’s like, you get through the process and it’s like, like I said, it was kind of fun. And like the first couple donors, like, you know, did not, didn’t work out, like didn’t end up being good options. And then. It’s like when our donor came, it’s like, Oh my God, that’s her. That’s that’s that’s it. Like, it’s like, you really do just find your.

person that you’re meant to find. You know, I love that you’re saying that. Like, and your energy changed even when you were describing that. Like, just because you are getting this wonderful gift from another woman doesn’t mean that the magic ends. It is magic of its own unique quality. Definitely. Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure.

It was, I remember, like I said, we had picked a donor, very young donor, and then they, Can get their like as part of kind of like a due diligence, they’ll have them get their home run, home run levels check. She was the first time donor and it came back terrible and I felt awful because she was really young and I was like, Oh my God, I hope she doesn’t have problems.

They’re just like kind of unveiled some problems. So that was like, Oh, she’s not going to work out. Then it’s like, Oh, this person’s unavailable. It’s just like, you kind of go through a process. And then, like I said, we went through a service and I remember she sent us the profile and I was like, that’s it.

Like, it was just, I knew, I knew, and it was. And she was really, it’s really hard to find not someone that looks like you, but someone that has, I wanted someone that had like the same build as me. So like kind of tall and thin, which is actually kind of hard because most people are short, but she was, she was my height, my weight, like not, didn’t really look like me, but similar body type, which was what we were looking for.

So it just came together. And then, like I said, seeing someone else go through IVF because you get like the updates at every and like to see the success that I had never seen. It was like, I mean, it was like you’re celebrating every point and it’s just like, wow, this is really real. This is really, really happening now.

Like it’s really, you know, real. And then, um, yeah. And then to go on a transfer, which of course, even our, we had been through so much at that point. And then even our transfer didn’t go like super smoothly, like. It took longer than anticipated and we’re like, Oh, geez, I was a nervous wreck to get, you know, you’re pregnant two weeks later, it was just like, Oh my God.

And then my pregnancy was like a dream. It was just, yeah. And I always remember you saying it’s 10, 000 times better than you think it’ll be. And you, I remember I’d be on my walk and that’s my podcast. And I’d be like, Thinking like, really, Roseanne, I’m really trying to keep the faith here. Was it? Was it?

Yes. I say it’s a million times better. I mean, like, and having, I’m like, that’s why I really wanted to share, like, having gone through the donor. And I mean, at this, we have this little seven month old little baby. She’s like, A dream. I mean, it’s just an absolute dream. It really is to go through, you know, like I said, pregnancy and our delivery was kind of crazy, but then to have this little, Oh my God, she’s like an angel.

She’s just, I say, she’s delicious and she is worth everything that you went through and everything, frankly, Kelly, that you became. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I, I agree. And that’s like another, your, your program is, and you are so amazing because it’s like, I knew I wasn’t, I was a shell of myself when I entered your program.

And it’s like, I need to be there for my baby when they come, like, I can’t be this, this, I can’t be a mother like this, this, and this is not, this is not the type of mother I want to be. Yeah. And I, and I will say like, I been so, you know, it’s been amazing and it’s. More amazing than I ever dreamed. You don’t know what it is going to be like, because you’ve never done it before.

Right, right. Well, I just love your story and your generosity in sharing it here, because I, I mean, one of my own personal missions is Really help women get over the fucking stories that we tell about what our family has to be and all of the judgments and all of the things we scare ourselves with, you know, whatever means by which we become moms, we make, you know, some things more meaningful than others.

And this is better than that. And it’s all it’s based on nothing. It’s based on your self sabotage story. I just, you know, you’re such a, a prime example of this Kelly about making a choice to focus on the dream or focus on your fear. Because if you let fear dictate this to you, you’d be, I don’t know, still talking like you were going to travel.

You know what I mean? Letting go. I mean, can you imagine? No. And it like, yeah, that’s scared. That scares me to think of like, my God, what if I gave up, you know, and cause it really is. Yeah. And I’m not saying it wasn’t easy. I mean, it’s when you were want to be a mom and it’s like, you know, there’s this void in your, there really is a void in your life and it’s, you have to just keep pushing forward and it’s, it’s really hard, it is, but every day you just have to tell yourself.

And that’s why I think what you kind of, the structure is so important, like to put that in place, like, you know, for almost an exact for a year, I got up and, you know, got up at the same time every day, meditate, it’s like. It really does give you this like kind of structure to hang on to and it really makes a huge difference.

I will say I don’t do as much of it now but you got to run around after well she’s not quite walking yet in seven months but like But just think about it. I mean, think about where you were when you started and think about where, you know, when you ended the program in January of 2020 and then where you were, you know, a year later, it’s insane.

It is. Even in, I mean, when I entered the program in January, it’s like, I wasn’t a hundred percent, I definitely had a lot more work to do, but I had the tools to do it and I had the, like the strength and like belief in myself to do it. And it was because you basically teach us to like, you know, name your fears and know them.

It’s like, you can then see them coming from a mile away. You really can’t, you’re like, Oh, I’m like, that’s creeping up. Like, I’m not going to go down that I, yeah, I’m not going to go down that path. I’m going to do this instead. You really, it’s just, and now, even though, like I said, yeah, I’m not meditating as much as I want to or journaling, but it’s like my mind.

I, you know, what, it’s like, you almost know what to look out for. And you’re like, you have the tools to kind of not let yourself go down those, those paths. Yeah. It’s amazing. And I even like. You know, I taught my husband the same, you know, he and everybody has their own. A lot of his are around, you know, work and business.

And like, I, whenever he would talk about things, I’d be like, you know, I think that’s the story you’re telling yourself and your saboteurs. He’s just like, are you crazy? Shut up, Roseanne. Yeah, I love that, Kelly. So, you know. As we close this out, I would love to know, like, think about the woman who was listening to these podcasts when you, you know, before you called your daughter in, you know, what would you want the women listening to know?

What do you most want them to walk away with from this particular conversation? Probably a couple of things. Like I mentioned before, accepting where you are. I think that’s super important because if you don’t, if you’re constantly looking back or comparing, like you said, you know, this is not how I planned, planned, I thought it would, you know, I didn’t think I’d be here.

My, I’ve had this different vision for myself, but you know, but, but your, you know, your family plan, if you don’t accept where you are and like what your kind of new path is or set that new path, I don’t, I don’t think I, you can, I don’t see how you can move forward. Okay. I feel like you’ll just be paralyzed.

Like you’ll just never get going and then keep, keep on living your best life. I think is one of the best, like I said, I kind of took that from a story you had told during one of the podcasts, like, and you don’t realize, I think a lot of women fall into that trap where you, your whole life goes on hold cause you get so consumed with this and then you stop.

Fear takes over every part of your life. It’s not just this part of trying to have a baby. It’s like, oh, you’re, you don’t, you know, you pass up a promotion at work because, oh, don’t, you don’t think you’re good enough for that anymore or whatever it is, you stop meeting up with friends, you stop doing things you enjoy.

So that was a huge wake up call for me. So I think that is probably one of the best pieces of advice is keep living your best life while you’re on this journey. You know, don’t say no to the thing. Cause that’s what we’ll get you through. That’s the good stuff that keeps getting you through. And then I guess by the time you, it will happen, you know, when you get your, your dream baby, then you, your life kept moving forward with it.

Like you have this life to welcome this, you know, beautiful baby into you’re not still stuck in the muck. Yeah. I mean, I, I love that you shared that you guys were like, yeah, we’re going to build a home. And you know, it’s, it’s so important because, you know, being. the woman that calls in this baby. You know, I always tell women, I’m like, look, if you’re dead inside, It’s really hard to call in a life and people don’t want, you know, so many people think they can get around that.

Oh, well, I don’t have to do the work. And it’s like the work is what keeps you going. And the work is what gets you out of your own way. Yep. Absolutely. You know, and having the strength to keep going comes from having a life worth living, you know, build a house by the car, get the education, you know, it’s about doing both.

Remember? Yes. And yes, I’m trying to conceive and I have a life. You can have both. Yes, absolutely. And oh, yeah, we, there wasn’t even a point where like, should we be building this house? Like, this, they were, our fears were starting to, you know, because we’re thinking we’re going to build a house and not have any kids to fill it up with.

And it’s like, absolutely not. Yes, exactly. So we even have to like, we had a You know, conquer those fears as we were going through the process. And of course, now we’re like, can you imagine if we never did this? Like, look at where we are now, you know, regret is the most expensive thing there is. And everybody thinks they’re going to cheat regret.

Yeah, it will always find you and and this is why I’m just so honored Kelly and and this whole audience is so blessed in hearing your story because your story is a story of. Triumph, not one of regret, like who you became in this process to, to love yourself and love your vision enough to say, okay, I’m going to scrap that idea.

I know what I want. I know what’s true in my heart. I’m not going to let some crazy story get in the way. Of the love I have to share and the baby that I know is out there for me. I mean, it’s just extraordinary. So I’m so happy for you and your husband and your beautiful baby daughter. You know, I had the good fortune of seeing her picture.

I mean, Dude, you did good mama. You did good. And thank you for sharing your story here. And I know that you’re going to be blessing so many women by sharing this. So thank you so much for your generosity, your honesty, and you know, that steady handed story of the woman who knew what she wanted and kept going.

So thank you for that. Thank you, Rosanne. Loves, if that didn’t just get you right in the heart, I don’t know what will. You know, what I love so much about all of my ladies stories, and Kelly’s story in particular here, is the power of staying focused on what you want, not getting hung up on the stories.

And instead, listening to your heart and letting your heart guide you, not your fear. You know, I bet if you took some time over the holidays and listened, and you just cherry picked all the different podcasts, and you sat and listened and did yourself a fucking solid and listened to every single one of the podcasts with one of my ladies featured, and you listened to the passion and the love and the commitment that you hear in.

Each and every one of their voices, they are all basically saying this, that, you know, you have to choose what you want, what’s truly in your heart over your fear and everybody else’s garbage and all of the programming that we get about what’s. The, you know, the way that you’re supposed to have your family, like, you know, it’s just fucked up and made up, right?

Because here’s the deal. You have a call on your heart and however you need to get to that place where it’s you and your baby and this beautiful family you’ve always dreamed of, rock on with your bad self. All of the judgments that we think are going to be there, like, come on, it, that’s completely made up.

You have to keep checking in with your heart. What is truly right for me? If I wasn’t afraid, and if instead I focused on what I want, what is the decision I would make? And we received the blessing from Kelly this week in, in sharing her process and, and how that worked out for her. And I really encourage all of you listening, you got to ask yourself, am I not choosing X, Y, Z option because I’m afraid?

Or am I not choosing XYZ option? Cause I have, I’m telling a whole bunch of stories about this and I have no fucking clue what I’m talking about. Could my emotional ignorance and lack of clarity about what I really want be blocking me from my baby? And, and I encourage you to ask that question, not from a place of like.

You know, self hatred or beating yourself up, but like, look, we all have to constantly ask, how am I blocking what I want from coming in? Right? And look at Kelly. She has a baby in her arms today. Her beautiful baby girl is in her arms today because she was willing to think out of the box and she moved past her fears and her judgments and instead focused on the truth in her heart and what she really wanted.

And that is my prayer for all of you. However that works out for you. Right? But you have to ask How am I blocking what I want? Am I blocking what I want from coming in? Because I am telling a fucking short sighted bullshit story that actually isn’t even mine. It’s somebody else’s. Okay? Because once you do that, you’re free.

And when you do that You become fearless. And if you want to learn what I taught Kelly, my fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes, to covering their bases, mind and body. So you have to look back on this time in your life with some fucking regret.

I work with women who are committed to success, just like Kelly and all the women you have heard all year. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodologies help women around the world make their mom dreams come true.

Their results? 71 pregnancies to date just this year. Speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success in the journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. 2023 can be anything you want to be, lady. And it all begins with that precious real estate between your ears.

What you think and believe can make all the difference in the world. Till next time, change your mindset. Change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.

When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.