EP199 How A “Broken” Heart Can Save Your Life: A Conversation with Wendee Saunders

This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.

We tend to see a health crisis as a “bad” thing. What if we’ve got that sh*t all wrong? What if it’s the thing that brings us back to life…the life we actually want to live? Join me in this powerful and empowering conversation with my dear friend Wendee Saunders. She literally went from a […]

The post EP199 How A “Broken” Heart Can Save Your Life: A Conversation with Wendee Saunders appeared first on Rosanne Austin.

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey. Just like I did get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell. Yes.

For your fertility journey, it’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the fearlessly fertile podcast episode 199. How a broken heart can save your life. A conversation with Wendy Saunders. Hey, my loves. Can you believe it? We are getting close to the end of the year and there is nothing that I love more.

Then really beginning to close out the year with so much excitement and anticipation for what is to come in the next. This is exactly why I’m absolutely delighted to be sharing the interview that you’re going to be listening to today with my dear friend, Wendy Saunders. Now, one of the things that is wonderful, I guess you could say side effect or upside benefit however you want to characterize it, but one of the really cool things about the result of my journey, of course, is my son, but it also catapulted me into an entirely different career.

I’m in a place in my life that I could only have dreamed of 10, 15 years ago. And as a result of all of this, and, you know, it wasn’t easy, people don’t typically change careers from being a prosecutor into doing something that sounds amorphous and slightly crazy and maybe even a little tree hugging. But what it has done, my journey was truly a gift, and you hear me say that all the time, and we’re going to be talking about, or at least Wendy and I are going to be talking about that more in this interview, but sometimes, The craziest shit that comes into our lives tends to be some of the biggest gifts and one of those incredible gifts that I got out of my journey, in addition to my son, was meeting some incredible, incredible people as the result of my journey, but also as a result of what I’ve created out of my journey.

You know, my work has brought me into contact with some really incredible people, Dr. Bernie Siegel, Dr. Christian Northrup, and so many of the people that you’ve heard on this podcast, and also other people that are making a difference in the world. You know, I get to rub elbows with, with people that people.

And are challenging themselves have a growth mindset and are constantly looking to be better not because they’re, you know, sucked up in perfectionism, but because they truly want to make the most of this life. And so during a photo shoot. I got to meet Wendy Saunders and, you know, from the moment that I laid eyes on Wendy, well, first of all, not only is she gorgeous, but you can just tell she’s such a deep and beautiful soul.

And it was so funny because I’m like, you know what? I don’t know why, but I know I’m going to be friends with this lady. And from that point, you know, a wonderful friendship was created where we’re like minded people. We’ve got so much in common. Wendy, interestingly enough, has her own story of triumph from a health crisis.

And you know, we, we talk about fertility all the time on this podcast. Obviously it’s the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, and it’s my calling. It’s what God universe sources ask me to do with my life. But I thought it would be really great to bring somebody on that had a different kind of health crisis and Wendy.

Actually had a heart that was quote unquote broken and you’re going to hear how Wendy used this health crisis. to create an entirely new chapter in her life. And even though Wendy is talking about her heart, so much of this translates into the fertility journey. So I wanted to give you this wonderful breath of fresh air where we’re not necessarily specifically talking about fertility, but we are taking an analogous situation and one woman’s story to really.

Pull some beautiful gems of wisdom from so that as you look downrange at the coming new year and Really look at yourself the things you’ve been through that you can really through Wendy’s story say to yourself Wow You know what? This journey has been tough. I’ve been through some crazy shit, but this is yet another example of how you can take heartbreak, literally broken heart, and turn it into absolute magic.

And I also want to model to you what it’s like to really be conscious and aware as a curator of your friendships. And I’m just going to give you a brief explanation of what I mean by that. Because sometimes we just You know, we just kind of become friends with people because we work with them or whatever, but What I’ve learned as a result of my journey and all the different things that I’ve been through since then is when you are a careful curator of your relationships, you will get to the point that you will only surround yourself with people that lift you up, people that are like minded, people that, you know, even if you have differing opinions about things, that you have very common values That you have shared values that even if your opinions are different on different topics, that there is a really strong link between you when it comes to what you value.

And when you do that, my loves, you know, you just elevate your energy completely so that you’re carefully curating like a museum curator. You know, the people that you have around you and I want you to just, you know, tuck that into your back pocket a bit because it’s, it’s so important when you’re on this journey to really be careful about the people that you surround yourself with so that, you know, if you have it in your heart to beat the fucking odds, that you have a gang of people surrounding you that believe in that.

And I talk about that in, in all of my books, whether it’s my first, second or my newest. Third book that’s coming out, you know, the people that you surround yourself with and the kind of information you take in is so critically important. So it’s with all of that as our lovely backdrop that I am so pleased to share my conversation with the beloved and most awesome Wendy Saunders.

Let’s start, Wendy, with you sharing a little bit with the women listening about yourself and all of that good stuff, and we’ll start there. Awesome. Well, Roseanne, first and foremost, I am so excited to be on this podcast with you. I’m so excited that the universe and the powers that be brought us together in a very random way.

And the second that I met you, there was this energy and connection of, I just felt like, okay, I want to be her friend. I want to be in her world. I want more of that, you know, and now that I know who you are and what you’re doing, it’s just, it’s crazy. So first and foremost, kudos to you for what you’re doing for women and everything, because I’ll tell you first and foremost, my greatest job and joy in my life are my children and having my children and experiencing.

All that comes with that. And now my kids are grown now. So, you know, I’m someone that knows the whole gamut and they’re now my very best friends and they’re on their path and life is great, but you know, I’m still a mom, you know, my grown kids are always like, Oh my God, mom, we’re grown. I’m like, well, I still think of you every five seconds and want to know what you’re doing and what’s happening and all of that stuff.

So kudos to you and what you’ve done for women. And. I think the thing that I love most about you is. And probably the synergies that we have is just the most underused tool in our tool belt and that’s our mind Yes, and our higher faculties and I just love that you’re sharing that with the world because We’re just not taught it in school.

And if you don’t know you don’t know Yeah, and I you know, and I love I mean and you’re extremely kind wendy I really appreciate what you said because I it was extremely mutual and You’re living proof in my own life of how sometimes our personal tragedies put us on a path that we hadn’t anticipated because if I never struggled with my fertility, I would have never met you.

I know that sounds like really strange, but sometimes, you know, these, these things that occur in our lives. It sounds awful. The people, the circumstances, the experiences that will come as a result of that. We just have no clue. I never would have predicted all those years ago that, you know, in the midst of my struggle, that one day I would meet Wendy Saunders.

I would be in her home. I would do all these crazy things. And like, It’s just a gift. So, so I have to say that thank you for my fertility journey because I got to meet you. Yeah, thank you for your fertility journey too. Yeah, yeah. Well, so why don’t you tell, I mean, because you have, I mean, another thing that we bonded over when we met.

Was your own personal story, which I just found. So, I mean, you’re doing so many cool things and have an incredible eye for design, like on top of so many other things, but which we can also get into. But I’d love it if you shared a little bit of your story with the women listening, because you have quite a comeback story too.

Yeah. No, for sure. You know, I think that something that has served me well from my childhood and it could also not serve me, but now that I’m aware of it, I know how to use it is me realizing that that thing of you’re not the boss and me because of the house that I grew up in, I just watched things that went on my house and I thought no one’s going to be the loss of Wendy.

Right. And so independence can be you. A great thing. And it can also be not a good thing. And so, but the way it has served me is it’s created an incredible amount of tenacity of yes, I can, and I can do things and I can overcome things. And so I think innately in me, because that’s something that I’ve always wanted to prove, you know, I don’t need you and you’re not the boss of me.

I’ve always found a way I’ve always found a way. And now that I’ve come through my journey. I realized, wait, I can be really intentional about this mindset where I don’t think it was always, I didn’t use the news, use it intentionally, if that makes sense. And so, you know, I’ve. I’ve been around the block for a long time, you know, I’m, I’m now in the second, second half, if you will, which I say games are one in the second half and through my journey through careers, through making changes, when people said, why are you doing that?

No one can do that. You can’t do that. I just kept doing it and kept persevering. And now I’m able to acknowledge myself that I did that. I did that because of the way that I thought. And how I, I, and what, what it was attracted to me because I only saw I can do it and I will do it kind of a path. And when you and I met, I was still in recovery from open heart surgery.

So I knock on wood or whatever. I’ve been always been blessed with being very healthy, but I had a heart defect, I guess, if you will, mitral valve prolapse. Heart murmur. Lots of people have them in women. They don’t really show symptoms. So I’m very grateful that I actually knew I had this and needed to check on it.

And in 2020, doctors said, okay, it’s time. We need to, you know, make this happen. I’m like, oh my God. And so I had open heart surgery and It’s great. I’m great now. I’m totally great. Life is great. But I think what going through that, that, what that did for me Was it unleashed a part of me that was like, you know what, it’s a good reminder that we get, you know, we think one shot to do things.

Yeah. The human body is an incredible machine, like incredible what I went through. And the fact that I’m completely on the other side, you know, we live in a world where there are people that decided for a living, they were going to cut people open and fix their heart. God bless them, you know, and be grateful.

And I just thought, you know what, I’ve been given a second chance, like I don’t have to live into the future of, well, I’m older now and la, la, la, you know what, F that, uh, uh, so I’m in such a crazy beast mode, which is a weird word to say, but it’s what coming to mind right now of just what’s next for me and what am I creating?

And I know so much of it stemmed from just that reality of, you know, what? What am I doing? You know, like, what am I, like, like there’s no stopping. Yeah. Oh man, Wendy. I mean, like you’re dropping bombs left and right because I mean, think about that open heart surgery. That is no joke. People don’t just go in for the, you know, out of the outpatient open heart.

I mean, like that is an existential crisis, even if it’s the kind, like fairly routine. If surgery can be not routine for me, but routine for them, . Yeah. I mean, if it’s, you know, even if it was in the expert’s opinions routine, it’s certainly not routine for us non cardiologists, you know, and Mm-Hmm. , you know, the, the kind of circumstances that you’re talking about, that awakening in a sense, maybe is a word that we can use here, is this awakening that, hey, we got one life.

We have one life and we get to decide how we live it. That must have been like both profound and shocking for you at the same time. Yeah, it was. And what it really did for me looking back was two things. One, when you’re getting ready to go into a surgery like that, you know, they’re basically shutting you down for three to four hours.

You know, they’ve turned, I mean, your cart can’t be beating when they’re working on it. So they have to stop that. And I mean, it’s a whole thing. And I going into that, I just realized anything that I had been tentative about suddenly went by the wayside because I thought, what the heck, man? I’m not, I could die.

Like, why am I tiptoeing around sharing what I believe in being bold, asking for what I want? Like, why am I tiptoeing around that? Like for freak sakes, you know? So. I kind of stepped into that new version of myself where I thought, but, but in a way I’ve always believed in, if you, you know, fortune favors the bold, but there’s a way to be bold and elegant and graceful and loving all at the same time, but be bold and stand in your truth and stand in what you believe in.

So that was one thing that happened. The other thing that happened was. Okay. What am I going to create now with this newfound energy? I thought I had energy before, but apparently I didn’t because my energy is off the charts now. So I’m like, what am I going to do with this? You know, and I, I know a lot of the, the, your audience are young moms, you know, they’re young moms in a totally different phase.

But eventually your children grow up and you’ve worked so hard to raise them and get them on their path. And there is something that is such a thing called empty nester syndrome, especially when that is your whole world is your children, right? Every thought, every plan, everything you do is around them.

And I kind of went through some of that as my kids, you know, moved and went out of the house and they’re doing their own thing and, you know, like not like realizing that maybe I’m a little lost or something’s going on with me. And so what this heart surgery did was help me reevaluate. Okay. What am I going to create now and what am I going to do?

And so what’s kind of been born from all of this is me redesigning what that second half looks like and redesigning what I want to do for my children. You know, had an interesting conversation today actually with my daughter. And she was sharing a book with me that’s about leaving, you know, about making your plan with your money and spending, you know, like be careful how much money you take to the grave because, you know, you want to enjoy your life.

And I thought to myself, and I shared with her, I thought, you know, that’s interesting. You want to provide for your kids, even as they’re older, you want to provide when you’re gone. Right. And before my heart surgery, it was the first time I thought, okay, I got to get my shit together. You know, I have my will together, all the stuff that it’s kind of sound, it sounds morbid, but you’re like.

I got to get my shit together if something happens. And so I really made the decision now in the second half of life, that the legacy that I get to lead to my kids and to my peers and all the little things. Or what I’m doing right now, right? And I kind of believe there’s heaven on earth and hell on earth, you know, I have some good books that I’ve read and I’m like, I get to create what’s happening right now.

And I was created in his image and I, there’s nothing I can’t do as long as I’m willing to tap into that. And so. That’s what drives me is now, what am I going to do? And so I, and I want to, the two words in my mind for my life are freedom and contribution. So I want freedom of peace of mind, finances, the nagging thoughts.

I want freedom of all that. And then I want to contribute because like you, my journey has the ability to help other people, you know, and the things that I see are things that I see missing. And so along with some things that I’m doing for women with creating a coaching course, you know, I’m very, very frustrated in the world of everybody wants to teach you how to do things, but no one ever wants to teach you how to keep it.

Oh, that’s so good. Which is a whole different deal. You know that, right? There’s a certain way you need to do. To keep it. And so I’m working on, you know, some programs to share all of that because I just believe it’s a missing piece. And then the other thing that I’m working on is I am vain Jane. I am a self proclaimed vain Jane.

I absolutely care what I look like all the time. That’s just the way it is. I, you know, have this surgery and they’re like, we have to cut you open. And my first thought should have been, Oh, I’m so grateful you can help me. No. My first thought was, Are you kidding me right now? Like, as hard as I have worked on having this beautiful skin and you’re going to slice slice me open?

Like, oh my god. I mean, the first what I said to my surgeon as I’m getting ready to go back to the OR, I’m like don’t forget, fashion’s my sport. You know, make it look good. And he’s like, I got you. I mean, that’s what I’m worried about, you guys. And I know that’s crazy, but whatever. And so our body is a temple, right?

Like you’re, you’re trying to preserve it as part of good stewardship woman. That’s not, I mean, I, I get you. I’m like, I have my warrior mark now, but I, you know, I just assumed not have anything there. So from that though, I get with my, I have all these skin coaches. I’m like, okay. What am I going to do?

What’s my plan? Right? I made a plan for the scar and I have a whole scar protocol. If anyone has scars out there and you want help, I got you because mine is, I wish I had a top on that I could show you, but it’s pretty crazy. They’re coaching for scars? Skin, I have people in my life that I’m like, Hey, you know, cause I’m all about all of that, right?

Like anti aging and beauty and your skin and feeling and looking your best. And so out of my heart surgery, two things have been born is well, three things, but really, you know, what I want to share with women, I’m going to be coming out with a book next year that has to do with beauty and mindset, because I believe when you combine the two, it’s a pretty deadly force.

But we work so much on the outside. But if you’re not equally working on the inside, you’re just missing a huge link. And then the third thing is I am launching a fashion brand because I spent all this time covering up from the sun because that was the number one thing, Wendy, no sunlight on your scar, no sunlight.

And I understand I’m big into the whole sunscreen thing. I was like, okay, okay. No sunlight. Right. You know, I’m like. My girlfriends are like, what are you wearing? I’m like, I have to, I have to cover up. I was a freak and I’m glad I did. But out of that, I decided that there was some things missing, you know, in the fashion world to protect us as we go about our day.

And so, you know, if for those people that want to follow along, you’ll see it come, come to fruition. And that was all born out of this. And yeah, so I, I, as you’re grateful for your fertility journey, I’m grateful that this was my journey because it has created so many things, like so many things, you know, I just, well, first of all, I’m with you on the vein Jane train.

Like I, I mean, who says, I mean, like, Who says that as you get into the second half of your life, that it’s suddenly like you hang it up, you let it all go. I mean, it’s funny because I had my son when I was almost 44, which you know, but back in those days, like that’s when I thought skinny fat. You know, I’m like, that’s when it’s just being skinny.

But now it’s like, you know, our, the appreciation for the female form and being strong, being healthy, staying, you know, in, in a place where, you know, we preserve our beauty. There’s nothing wrong with having that external, you know, beauty as well as the inner beauty. Like, I love that you’re, you’re hitting on that because.

There are women out there who feel disempowered about that. Like, it’s somehow a bad thing. Right? Like, so talk to us about this. The feminine power. Yeah, feminine energy and being feminine. It’s a strategy. It’s a power that you have. And I agree. Like we live in this whole thing with, I don’t know what’s going on with the whole feminine world.

And I listen, whatever floats your boat. But I’m like, no, be a woman, like be a woman, be feminine and learn how to use. Are we all have our own feminine, masculine energy, but I think there’s been this shift that, you know, women with independence or whatever it is. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but they’ve forgotten how to tap into the feminine energy.

And so they’re attracting things with their masculine energy. That, you know, maybe they want, maybe they don’t want, but again, missing a critical component. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and first of all, if anyone can be in the second half of their life and look like you, Wendy, I mean, that’s like a massive win in and of itself, but like, I mean, but it’s true.

And I think that the glow that you have is not only through discipline and clearly a skin coach and like all the good stuff, but it’s also from that inner knowing, right? I think that there’s an inner knowing when you have lived a journey and when you stop hiding that light, I think it naturally starts to come out in you.

And it becomes visible to other people on a similar journey, just like when you and I met, it was like, yeah, like immediately. I know my people when I meet them. Right. Yeah. You know, what do you think about that? What do you think about? This, you know, because we’ll get into this mindset thing because you and I can have a conversation about mindset, probably for days, right?

Yeah. But you said something earlier about the things that you attract into your life when you really start to, to wake up and, and to see like what really matters. You stop, you know, messing around with asking for what you want. Share a little bit about how your life has changed since you have stopped playing footsie with your truth.

I do believe there, that there’s a peace of mind and clarity that comes along with giving all that up. And, By peace of mind, it means just letting go of all the BS limitations, stories, attachment of other people’s opinions, care, you know, all that stuff just gets to go away. And there’s an incredible peace when you have that.

And then the clarity comes from when you really, really love yourself and love what you can’t, what you’ve done. And knowing what you’re capable of doing their clarity, you know, clarity creates action and action creates confidence. And I, I, and I don’t know if it stands for men, but I think for women, women want to feel confident.

They don’t realize that the confidence comes from the clarity and the clarity is what creates action. And then you have the confidence. So it’s all kind of backwards, you know, and so I think it’s the clarity I have of what it is that I want, what it is that I want to create clarity and what I don’t want and what I no longer give a crap about that.

So it’s that, that clarity that then the clarity allows you to figure out who you need to become, you know, when we set goals. The goal is what you want, but the real, you know, it, the real, what it really is, is who you need to become and getting excited about all of that. And, you know, so I think like law of attraction, I like to start it off with the law of like magnetism because the law of attraction comes from who you’re being or frequency.

Everyone hears this in a different way. Will you become a magnet to attract what it is that you want? And so, yeah, all of this is just kind of freed me up to, to take myself to the next level. You know, if you’re not growing, you’re dying. Progress makes you happy. Growth makes you happy. And so many people, especially in my.

You know, time of life. I mean, I’m 53 years old and I’ll tell you in my friendship group, you’ve got the woman like me, who’s like, let’s go, like, let’s get after it. Right? Like we have a whole, we got more time than we’ve ever had. We got money now, you know, we’re mature. You know, we got our bitch switch where we’re like, I’m 53 years old.

I don’t care what you think. You know, but then you’ve got the other group of people who have given up. Oh my gosh. And, and I think if they’ve given up, they’ve stopped growing. It’s over for me. I’m tired, which is okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. But I hope that every woman listening sees. That one of the great gifts of you really standing in your truth, whether it’s on your fertility journey or whatever health journey that you’re on, when you finally step into owning who you are, you get to surround yourself with people like this, like this, right?

I mean, like this, you know, I mean, and I love what you’re sharing because I think this serves women anytime there’s a health challenge, whether it’s fertility or heart, any other kind of experience that. That causes you to really stop and evaluate what you care about in your life. It’s a gift. Now, it might be a bitch in the middle of it.

But exactly as you say, it is the woman that you become in the process. And, and I try to tell women this all the time. Nobody, you know, nobody wants to believe me or they think that, Oh, well, Roseanne, you’re on the other side of your journey. So it’s easy for you to say that. No, it’s not easy for me to say that because I fucking work for it, right?

Like we just like you. Claude, your way back from open heart surgery and not falling into victimhood, not falling into all of the patterns of, oh my gosh, I’m not attractive anymore, that, that, that all that stuff. When, when you have a, an existential crisis, the way that, you know, I think any of these health concerns presents having the clarity that you’re talking about.

Having the peace of mind that you’re talking about the peace of mind that comes from, Hey, I’m not going to BS myself or anyone else anymore. This is what I stand for. This is what I’m doing. As soon as I come to out of the surgery, it’s go time. Right. And I think also something else that you said that I really want to highlight is that the action creates the confidence.

The clarity drives that action. When you have all of those things together, there’s no reason not to be confident because you know, you can trust you to follow through. Totally. And the one thing that all, all of this is, is, is enacting your ability to have faith. So there’s two things enacting your ability to utilize faith.

As a tool. And then the other thing, and you said it and I’m losing my train of thought for half a second here, but is the hardest part of doing anything is the thinking part. Oh, yeah. And that’s why we live in a world where Oh, take a pill, you’ll be better do this, you’ll be better. Right. And so. It’s that’s why it’s the most underutilized tool, but like what you’re doing with women and I watch you and I’ve watched all this and it just like, I literally get like, yes, because when you, when you use your mind, you really can make things happen, like, you know, and, and people think, oh, that’s, well, that’s it.

It’s like. Okay, we’ll try it because you are in control of it and it’s free. So, yeah. Yeah. You know, but it’s crazy. And it’s quantum physics. It’s quantum physics. And the other thing too is if you look at any sacred text, They’re all getting at this idea in one way or another that we are, as you said, at the very beginning of this, you’re either creating a heaven on earth or a hell on earth.

And it’s your choice. We have free will for a reason. And I think that sometimes, I don’t know where this, I mean, I have my suspicions about where this came from, but a lot of us have been lulled into a sleep. In a sense where, exactly as you said, we expect a pill to fix us. We expect the doctors to fix us.

We expect somebody else to do the work. We believe what everyone tells us. We believe it, right? If my doctor would have told me, I can’t fix your heart, right? And you’re going to have this. Well, I could have been that person to say, Okay, right? But it’s like, we believe everything that people tell us. Yeah, without even re, without, without maybe contradicting it, without researching it, without getting other opinions.

And it’s like, what the heck? Well, yeah, I mean, it’s like critical thinking has gone out the window. But to your point, your surgeon is a master at what your surgeon does, but your surgeon can’t do it for you. Your surgeon’s gonna ex expertly cut you open, is going to fix your heart, but at the end of the day.

Your surgeon gets to go home. You, Wendy, have to continue being Wendy and have to make the choices that Wendy needs to make in order to see this through. Mm hmm. Yeah. And keep my mind right during all of it. You know, during, like, just contin and it was that faith. Like, I just knew. I mean, going through the surgery, it is no joke, the recovery, right?

And anytime you’re in recovery and, you know, on medication and laying around in bed, you’re not working on your goals, your, your dad, so your mind can really mess with you. And so that was where I had to enact faith of, I have faith in my body that I’m healing. You know, I have, I had, I just, it’s like. You have to get this thing in control and when you can control it, it means it doesn’t mean that it becomes this perfect thing.

It just means like, I feel like, Oh, I got your number. Right. Meaning, you know, when, when I have these little thoughts that go through my head, I can go, no, no. No, and stay in my, you know, telling my mind and, you know, I’m sure I’ve imagined we’ve all reread the exact same books, but I’m rereading psycho cybernetics right now.

Oh, Dr. Maltz. Are you kidding me? I love that book. Yeah. And it’s just such a good reminder of the power that we have. I mean, tap into it, tap into it and you’ll see the heavens open. Yeah. Well, you know, in another bomb that you dropped earlier that I thought was so incredible that I wanted to, to go back to is, you know, people think law, I think, you know, as much as I love the secret and all these other things for opening people’s minds, that’s a very superficial way of looking at this because in the end.

Who you’re being. That’s the magnet. Like you were saying, you can’t. And I think Dr. Joe dispensed dispenses said this, you cannot think past how you feel. So if you’re not doing things that make you feel great, if you’re not entertaining thoughts that feel really good to you, how will you ever magnetized?

To attract the things that you want in your life, because if you’re super low vibe, if your frequency is constantly in fear, loathing, negativity, how are you ever going to attract the magic in your life? Totally. And I think that the thinking also has to be what actually comes out of your mouth and the actions.

Oh, so when you’re being right, you can, you know, he was a wide positive. It’s like, okay, let’s record you for 48 hours and see how you speak about yourself, you know, and about others. You know, I, I, I was working, um, I’ll give you a little insight, but I was working on my book the other day and I was thinking about recognition and you know, there’s a saying that says.

People will work for money, but they will die for recognition. And I thought to myself, but nowhere in there, does it say that that recognition has to come from other people? Why can’t that recognition come from yourself? Yes. And that’s how we speak, right? We, we don’t, I mean, I’m sure you do what I do, but I walk around the house every day.

I am a badass. I am amazing. I am, I am this. I am that. I am this. I am that. Because I’m like, I don’t need anyone else to tell me that it’s nice. It’s great. But when I tell myself it’s a whole nother ballgame, it totally is. And so often the thing that we’re looking for from other people, they’ll never give it to us in the same way that we can give to ourselves.

Like. You know, even in marriages or partnerships, you know, you, the quality of that relationship, and this is true in friendships, I, I believe is that the more that you bring to it, the more wholeness, the more love of self that you bring to it. The more amazing that relationship is going to be like, like even when you and I met there was a simpatico and I think an understanding of who we were that like Wendy and I are not going to have some bullshit conversation about the weather.

I knew that like immediately. This is my people. These are, this is what I have a conversation with. Like juicy. I guess it’s going to be juicy. Yeah, this is going to be good. Right. And I think that, you know, what we’re sharing here is such a, I think a perspective that I’m so happy that we’re going to be, you know, giving to other women to say that, Hey, you’re not tied to this diagnosis.

So that diagnosis is like one, one zillionth of who you are and that there’s so much more and you have more power. over the outcome of that than you even know. Totally. Well, when I, my heart stuff, they told me that my valves were probably not repairable. And when you have to have a replacement of heart valves, you know, it’s at number one, they don’t last your whole life.

Number two, you have to be on a blood thinner. That’s called Coumadin. That is awful. Like you have to check in weekly, poke your finger. I couldn’t get Botox anymore. That’d be awful. So, you know, so, so when I made the decision of, I’m going to find somebody who is going to, who will give me the answer that I’m looking for, because I believe that it exists.

And I’m not willing to settle into that, you know, scarcity answer and, uh, you know, went round and round and I found a surgeon who was like, and, and interestingly enough, I had been going the direction of please do the surgery through my rib cage so that I don’t have a scar. And that was the answer I was getting.

Well, we probably can’t repair there because they’re messed up. And I finally found a surgeon who was like, if you let me in there, I’m really good at what I do. And I repair valves that most people can never repair. And so I was like, okay, you know, like, okay, there it is. And he, he did it. And when he opened me up, he came out and told my husband, man, she’s a mess.

And they’re not sure she, both her valves are a mess. And then three or four hours later, he comes skipping out of the OR. I did it. I absolutely did it. And we didn’t have to have replacement, which means I don’t have to do any of this again. I’m, I’m done for the rest of my life, but it was me really making decision of what it is that I wanted and searching through avenues until it all came together.

You know that, okay, I found it. And I think with your women, if they settle into what someone’s told them as possible. They’re doomed. You can’t do that. You have to know, no, this is what I want. This is what I’m going to have. And just open that up and burn the boats, right? The whole thing and burn the boats and you will find your path to when you, but if you tell yourself you can’t, you can’t dude, if I haven’t told you lately, I fucking love you.

Like I, I just, it hits right back at you. It’s this kind of clarity and this goes back to another thing, a beautiful gift that you gave us in teaching, you know, about the, the clarity and, and the action that comes from that. And then the confidence that comes as a result of the action, making the decision that you’re not going to do this on anyone else’s terms and that you’re not going to negotiate and that you’re, you know what you want you by being that woman.

So listen up ladies. Wendy is literally showing us how that looks because. Being the woman that you had to be to stand in your power and know how you wanted to do the surgery. You’re not giving up your Botox. Botox is blessed. You know, and like, You necessarily, because you were at that frequency, could meet a surgeon at that frequency that was willing to do it on your terms.

This doesn’t surprise me. I mean, it doesn’t surprise me not. I mean, it delights me because it’s yet another example, but you’re living proof through so many of your own personal choices and that level of clarity that you will pull the resources. The people, the experiences, the abundance that you’re going to need in order to do whatever it is that you decide to do once you make a decision to be that.

And to sacrifice, because in anything you do, there’s something to sacrifice. Right. There’s, I mean, that sacrificing can be given up your complaints that, you know, everyone in the world is, you’ve got to face like, okay, I’ve been that girl. I got to give it up. Like, there’s always a sacrifice, sacrificing your time, sacrificing, you know, something.

And for me, the sacrifice was, okay, I have to now do this surgery in a way that I didn’t want to do it. But that sacrifice has given me this new trajectory in my life. And, you know, allowed me fashion and beauty has always been my sport. And now I’m turning it into a business, but had I not made a sacrifice.

Which sounds, it sounds kind of vain, you know, it sounds kind of like, hello girl, you had heart surgery. It’s like, but no, it was a sacrifice to do it in a way that I had really said, I’m not going to do open heart surgery, but I made that sacrifice for my health and my wellbeing and my longevity, which I’m so happy, but that sacrifice also gave me a gift.

So we have to also recognize there’s always. Something to give up, to go up something. It can be small, big, but you have to look at what you, you can’t just get there without sacrificing something. I love that. Something to give up, to go up. And you know, what really is what you’re also talking about in, in, in so many words is being willing to pay the price.

Nothing in this life is free. You know, like it’s, it requires discipline. It requires. You know, so many people I run into, you know, Oh my gosh, that’s so expensive. I don’t want to do fertility treatments. It’s going to cost me 20 grand. And it’s like, well, scarcity, much scarcity, much. Yeah. And it’s like, you know, and it’s like, what are you talking about?

You know, and even, you know, people get all upset. Oh, we’re going into a recession, all this stuff. Not in my world. There’s only a recession if you make it a recession. I make my own economy last I checked. Yeah. Yeah. I, you guys can keep screwing up, doing what you gotta do. Wendy makes your own economy, your own economy.

That’s, I don’t do recessions. I don’t do it, neither do I. Neither do I. Recessions are opportunities. It is an absolute opportunity while everyone else is constricting you go full force. Yeah, you know, and I think that that scarcity mindset like if you want to guarantee broke stay in scarcity because you’ll never take the risk that it takes to get really wealthy.

You know, if you want to make sure that in your 50s you’re old and dry up stay in scarcity. Okay, you know, it’s the idea that anything is going to come for free or that somebody else is going to do it. Is a guarantee for mediocrity and neither one of us wear that t shirt No, and I also think roseanne. I think that there’s what you want and there’s what you think you can have Oh, you got to get real clear because you can have and create anything And if you don’t believe me, there’s somebody With your situation, your circumstances, your background, doing and having all the things that you want.

So we’re not going to argue about the fact that you can’t have it. So it’s really stepping into that, like, is that what you want? Or is that what you think you can have? And where I’m clear in my life and what I love about just my journey in, and listen, ladies listening, you got to grow. You got to read.

You have to, you know, all the things that you’re probably not being taught from your peers in school and which is most everybody, you got to step on that other side to really understand who you are at your core of what you can do. And then when you go after life, knowing that there’s nothing you can’t do, boy, that’s fun.

It’s scary. It’s fun. It’s exhilarating. But it’s like, holy smoke. Like, Yeah. I mean, fear and excitement, they have very similar qualities. And so I always tell women lean into the excitement that things are about to get real exciting because if you’re not growing, like you were saying before, it’s a backslide, like people think that there’s this, you can just stay in this sort of, you know, middle ground.

No, no, no, no, no, no. That’s not how it works. And yeah. You know, one of the wisest things is, you know, if you’re wanting to get somewhere, don’t talk to your neighbors who never lived the journey that you’re living for advice, just like, like, would you go to someone who’s broke? For advice on how to make money.

No, no, you’re going to go find the people that are doing it and get the information from them, you know, because every, all the low vibrational people around you are going to tell you 50 reasons why you can’t. Right. So it’s like, You know, if you’re relying on low vibe people to tell you whether or not you’re ever going to get pregnant, or you’re relying on low vibe people who say, oh, this heart surgery, your life is over.

You’re never going to be the same. I mean, why would you listen to those people? Yeah, that’s right. It’s amazing. And through my whole life, any career I’ve ever had, when people said you can’t do it, I innately started to look around and go. But she’s doing it so I could do it, you know, and I innately started to look at, well, who, what is, how is she different than me?

That was my question. How is she different than me? You know, and this is back in my, I. We could go have a whole segment about careers and different things. But in my real estate career, right. In my direct sales career, I just thought, well, if I go look at successful people and I look at how are they different for me from the outside.

Right. I look at women and I’m thinking, well, she’s dressed professionally. I’m dressed like a schlep. Right. She. You know her hair nails and outfits totally put together and I’m kind of half assing it over here Or she’s always speaking positive this that and the at this that and the other and I’m complaining and gossiping, you know So you just start to look at people around you and then it just it provides proof Like you got to get rid of the excuse that you can’t do it And the way that you do that is you have to manufacture that by finding the evidence around you So that you can be like, okay, well, that’s a bullshit story because I just proved, I just proved to myself that it is possible.

And then you get, then that story is gone. It’s like, it’s like putting, you know, water on a fire. It’s just out. Yeah. I mean, and I think to your point earlier about taking action, like you have to act the only confidence you don’t just wake up one morning confident. You wake up one morning confident because the night before your work in your ass off, you were doing the things that it took because, you know, it, it just makes sense.

But I think sometimes, you know, I, I don’t know if it’s the system, the system or whatever that just loves to keep women disempowered and separated from our power. And tells us you’re either, you know, you’re either accomplished or you’re feminine. Like we have to choose one or the other. You can be all of it and you can be strong and you don’t have to be in victimhood and.

You can’t have kids and have a business and a career in this. Yeah. And scarcity is a big fat lie. You know? I mean, I hear women sometimes, Oh, you know, I can’t do this or I can’t do that. And it’s like, what are you talking about? You know, I’ve had women in, you know, Sub Saharan Africa do my programs willing to do whatever it took and never complained.

And are holding babies now, like because of it, you know, you can’t and then there were people that come to our country with nothing right and go on to create incredible wealth. I mean, so all of these excuses and all of these ideas that I can’t or it’s too hard. It’s like if you’re stuck in a place of I can’t or it’s too hard, you don’t want it bad enough.

That’s right. And you’ll, and you’ll find exactly everything that you need to prove your point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I mean, we can go on for hours like this. I just, I know, I know. I just, you know, and this is why I wanted to have you on because It’s these teachings and these things that we are talking about have such incredible universality, whether it’s a heart surgery, whether it’s trying to have a baby, what, you know, whatever the challenge may be, you and I are giving women the cheat code.

We are telling you from our own unique individual experiences what it takes to overcome and, and who you can be. in this process as well as the gifts that are lying on the other side. I mean, look at you vibrant, full of life, you know, just glowing on the other side of an open heart surgery and start, you know, you’ve got a book coming out.

Oh my God. Do you know the title yet? Do you know what that’s? I do, but I can’t tell it because it’s so freaking amazing. It just has to come out. You know what? You’re absolutely right because I just remembered the name of it. Yeah, so we’re gonna wait till that comes out but like you’ve got your fashion line coming out like You know, there is a heartbreaking number of women in the second half of their lives that wouldn’t write a book that wouldn’t start a fashion line.

I mean, like, wouldn’t be doing the things that you’re doing, but you are demonstrating to us that It’s not only is it possible, it’s so insanely available that it is simply a decision and and I’ll be 49 this month. So I’m like, I’m not that far behind you, girl. So I’m like, I’m like, I’m planning my Cinquantanera.

Like, I’m like, I’m going to make 50 just You know, amazing. And like I was saying before, like, you know, when we decide what we value, you know, we let go of skinny fat and we get strong. We let go of competition and we, we go for collaboration. You know, we, we, we lift people up instead of gossiping. You know, we get out of lack and scarcity and then into abundance and we attract people, you know, in our frequency.

So it’s just, I don’t know, this is nothing but love Wendy. So I am just. So grateful that you came on. So, so how can women find out more about you and what you’re up to share a little bit about the channels that you use and how women can follow you in your work? Yeah, probably the best place right now is just my personal Instagram, which is at Wendy Saunders, and you’ll be able to see how I spell my name, W E N D E E Saunders, S A U N D E E R S that’s probably the best place to find me and connect with me and.

You know, again, what you’re doing is so great. I love watching it. I love the name of your program because I think the fearless thing is really the, just letting it go, right. And just really stepping into feel the fear, do it anyway. The fear is not real, you know, all that stuff. And so I, I, I just, you know, to leave you ladies with something is that, you know what, you can do it and don’t forget who you are, don’t forget how you were created.

And, you know, just take control, take control of that little voice in the head, take control of whatever your little word habits, things that you need to stop saying, and just get it done because you’re working with someone who is taking your time to coach you through this and the journey of being a mom is so worth it.

It’s so worth it. I mean, it’s, it’s every time someone has a baby. I say to them, now, you know what love really feels like, right? You know, now you know that there is a God, right? When you create another human life. And so I’m just fortunate to know you, Roseanne, and be a part of, and watch what you are doing, you know, the impact that you have on this world is.

It was pretty astounding. Yeah. Well, I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s extremely mutual, Wendy. And I think that you said something, you know, really powerful that, you know, this, you know, children are the proof there is a God, but I also believe that other proof is women like you and the fact that when you are in that frequency, you will bring in like minded people and come into your life in the craziest ways.

And it’s, it’s for that, that I’m always so grateful for this journey for meeting you meeting so many people and being, you know, being able to connect with like minded people and do, you know, fantastic things in the world. So, so yes, Wendy, thank you for spending the time with us. I’m going to make sure we drop a link to your Instagram in the show notes.

It’s going to be fantastic. So thank you for being so generous and sharing with us. Yes. Thank you, Roseanne. Isn’t my friend Wendy just amazeballs? Don’t you just want to like shrink her down and carry her around all day? Just like, ah, you just want to just love on this lady. So I hope that you took a lot of inspiration from the conversation that we had.

And I hope also that we pushed a few buttons. If you’re stuck and you’re stuck in an old story, I hope that we kind of nudged you a little bit. To get out of that nonsense and that you heard from another person’s perspective, another person who faced a health crisis at how possible it is to make your dreams come true.

So definitely check out my friend, Wendy, and look, there are just days remaining in this year. The choices that you make now can make all the difference in the world. You get to create your own success on this journey. And if you want to learn. What Wendy and I were talking about, what all of these women you’ve heard all year talking about, and learn what the 71 women who have gotten pregnant, supported by my programs, at the time of this recording, if you want to learn the goodness that they learned and used to help them achieve success, My fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes, to covering their bases, mind and body.

So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret to apply for an interview for this program. Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodologies help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results. Speak for themselves and if you don’t have a mindset for success in the journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success till next time change your mindset change your results Love this episode of the fearlessly fertile podcast subscribe now and leave an awesome review Remember the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you when it comes to your dreams Keep saying hell.

Yes

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.