EP208 Recession Proof Your Relationship

What does a smart AF woman need to know about recession proofing her relationship? I break it down this week, so that your partner’s fears about money or the economy don’t become yours AND the two of you can start making smarter decisions NOW. Scared money doesn’t win–particularly on this journey!

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, badassery, and loads of hell Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 208. Recession proof your relationship. Listen up! Hey loves, last week we talked about what you need to know when it comes to recession proofing your fertility journey.

Now, if you caught yourself shaking your head a bunch during that episode, go back to episode 205 where I asked the question, Do you want to be fertile or do you want to be right? Do you want to be right about times being tough and scary, or are you better served by using your precious energy to be more resourceful?

Look, we are in the second month of 2023. It’s go time, sister! You’ve got to remember the promises you made to yourself at the beginning of this year. Your life is now. It’s not some distant, misty, amorphous thing out in the future. It’s happening right now. Right now! There’s part of you that understands what I mean when I say that.

I’m sure of it. But that’s not the typical programming that we get across the board. The message you tend to get across the board is happiness and the things you want, they’re gonna come later. It’s always about later, someday, when I make more money, when my baby gets here, when my kids are old enough to go to school, when we retire, blah blah blah.

It’s all about there being some future promise of a reward. What the fuck about now? Okay, your life is now as a mama in the making. I think you are more aware about the urgency of the passage of time than perhaps your partner can appreciate. If you happen to be partner, you listen to this podcast. So there are probably a lot of ideas that you are clued into that your partner might not have the same grasp up this.

Is why I wanted to do an episode on recession proofing your relationship as you live this journey, because think about it, you have a level of urgency in your heart, and while you get and understand that, your partner might not, particularly when it comes to how they approach money, especially when they are hearing on the news, social media, around the water cooler at work, about how bad things are getting, Your partner is, they’re getting bombarded by these messages while at the same time his woman is wanting to put the pedal to the metal on this journey talking about doubling down and listening to this pink haired former prosecutor about why recessions are exactly the time to invest big on this journey because you have to make every cycle count.

At least if you don’t want to look back on this time with regret, right? It can feel like the two of you are on completely different planets. This is where I see a lot of couples slide into conflict about things that they really don’t have to. If your partner isn’t working on their mindset or considering things counter to the mainstream narrative, you might hear them talking about tightening belts, pressing pause on things, or stopping the baby train altogether.

That shit is scarier than a recession. A recession is a temporary circumstance, which we talked about last episode. We’re talking about your baby! Your baby’s not temporary. And this is where I see women catastrophize, start feeling shame for their desires, start worrying that their partner or their relationship is going to go to shit because you two don’t see eye to eye when it comes to money and thereby this baby.

This is why what I’m sharing with you, you know, what I’m talking about with you here today, Matters. If you don’t get in front of this, you can find yourself squandering precious time resources and emotional capital. You can avoid all that garbage. When you start thinking about how to approach your partner with your desires, when the outside world is saying that the sky is falling and we’re all headed for financial ruin.

That’s why we’re talking about what we’re talking about today. One of the things I pointed out in last week’s episode, number 207, Is that most of us, if you were raised middle class, were taught to stay safe and avoid problems. It was all about a survival subsistence. It was about survival. Don’t get me wrong.

Survival has value, but there is a point when you move past a survival subsistence in your life. The problem is your mind doesn’t. You move past it, but your mind doesn’t. This is why people who, even though they make a great salary, they’ll act like they’re broke. They think like they’re broke and live a broke ass life unnecessarily denying themselves opportunities, chances, investments, advancements.

If they had just seen that their mind was stuck back in 1980 with their childhood, okay? Chew on that for a minute. We are not living the same way as the generation prior. Yet, some of us still hold on to their thought process when it doesn’t fit, okay? And, and a lot of women do this to themselves, it’s like, you are not living your mother’s life.

Unless you allow your brain to keep you stuck in that place. We love, respect our mothers, we respect their sacrifices, we love them, and our female ancestors for what they did. But, but you’re not scrounging pennies today, you’re educated, you’re, you’re a captain of industry, you’re making a difference in someone’s life, you’re holding a scalpel during the day, you know, you’re, you’re rescuing people, you’re, you’re shaping young minds, all of the professions that are out there, and, and you, you go and you make your contribution.

Your circumstances are not the same as when you didn’t have buying power. Okay, yet you hold on to the mindset that doesn’t even belong to you under the facts. You’re choosing to keep it. And at some point we all do that, right? But if you truly want to win in your life and on this journey, you’ve got to get past that.

So here’s what you’ve got to know if you want to recession proof your relationship. In the context of your fertility journey, and oh yeah, just to remind you, I think I forgot to mention earlier, but we’ve created a really cool journaling page for you to use with this episode, so if you want it, be sure to click the link in the show notes or in the email that you got announcing this episode.

Not only is it a great place to jot down ideas, I give you three powerful exercises. Oh, it’s going to help you take this to the next level. So here are three things that you have to know. Number one, your partner’s fear does not have to be yours. Your partner’s fear does not have to be yours. You can love someone very much and be committed to your relationship without joining in their fear.

And that’s plain and simple. I don’t care how many degrees your partner has in economics, accounting, business, et cetera. The fact remains that the economy bounces back and recessions are temporary. Smart investors ride the waves and see opportunities along the way. They look at trends. They don’t run away screaming at the first sign of trouble.

Your partner gets to have their fear. It doesn’t make them bad or wrong. They get to hold on to their story. But here’s the deal. As a grown ass woman, you don’t have to join in it. You are grown. You earn an income. You have made it this far in your life, and you are not living under a bridge. Sure, you may have made some poor choices financially in the past, but that doesn’t damn you to unforgiveness for the rest of your life.

Those who have actually made mistakes and forgive themselves for it, like, position themselves to s To achieve success, because they can look back on their own resilience and see that even when they fuck shit up, they know how to bounce back from it, right? Think about it, like, we torment ourselves over making mistakes, but it’s like, it’s from the mistakes that you learn and you understand, Wow, you know what?

I actually had the backbone to jump back into the game and I’m fine! It’s like you don’t want to be coached or taught by someone who has never fucking made a mistake in their life and everything was perfect because they don’t have the same resilience as a motherfucker who got kicked in the teeth a few times, alright?

Many people lead with fear when it comes to money and that’s not based on forgiveness and resilience. It’s based on punishment and avoidance. The wealthiest people in the world got there by being willing to take risks and not playing it safe all the time. And look, as I said before, we’re talking about your baby!

All right? In the end, you can respect your partner’s position without having to give up on your own. Also, as women, we are the keepers of our relationships. We have a responsibility to have a clear head when our partner does not. We have the ability to focus on our vision and for what we want, not be focused on what we don’t want.

Think about it this way. When you are solely focused on what you don’t want, you are giving energy to it. Your focus on what you don’t want literally feeds the growth of what you don’t want. Let me say that again. Your focus on what you don’t want literally feeds the growth of what you don’t want. This is simply how the world works and chances are you see this all the time.

Right? Think about it. Think about when you’re late to work. Okay? Let’s say you’re going into the office. Even if you work from home and have a couple days where you have to go into the office. And your ass is late, all you’re thinking about is being late! You hit every red light, you’ve got every Sunday drive in motherfucker who’s half dead in front of you, like, it, just everything goes wrong, right?

You’re not thinking about, okay, I’ll get there when I get there. You’re worried and freaked out about being late, and the whole shit gets bigger and bigger in your brain. I mean, this is why there is real truth to the old adage, you know, what, where your energy flows grows, okay? So you really want to be A good steward of your energy.

Okay, if you know what you want, you stay focused on that. You don’t focus on what you don’t want. Right? Now, the second thing you need to know, in the context of recession proofing your relationship, in the context of your fertility journey, is reasonable minds can disagree! The two of you can have wildly different opinions about how to move forward, and that makes neither of you wrong.

The better question is which point of view is going to keep you on track for this baby. Are you willing to press pause on shit based on someone else’s fear and risk later looking back on missed opportunities? You know, and time! And time, mama! And, uh, not being in the game! Are you willing to look back on that with regret?

Yeah, I didn’t think so. I also want to be really clear about something. Lately, we’ve seen this really weird disintegration of rational thought in our society. Over the past three years, we have seen people worship at the altar of fucking fear. Fear has been allowed to have authority. And that’s complete and utter bullshit.

Just because something leads with fear doesn’t mean it has authority. Fear mongering only has the authority you choose to give it. We watch solemn faced news anchors spewing the worst of the worst and some people buy that shit because they think if it’s dire and it’s fearful, it must be true! If it is positioned with fear, it must be more serious and thereby warrant authority in the presumption of truth.

And I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, if you haven’t figured it out, as more and more facts come out about what’s been going on the past three years, we can see how much of that theater was based on manipulation and straight up bullshit. This is why when you know your position and it’s based on truth in your heart, you can stand strong in your position and move ahead accordingly while allowing your partner to have their position.

And you both are still reasonable. Okay? Someone may think that to hold their position opposite of their partner is wrong, and you automatically have to kowtow to your partner’s fear in order to be a loving and supportive spouse. Like, that’s what you have to Fuck no. Your partner could be dead wrong about this.

And just because they are fearful, that doesn’t make them right, or somehow more informed. Okay, you both get to have your positions, and you can disagree respectfully, but mama, you gotta know the direction that you’re headed in. And if it leads with fear, fucking reject it. Okay, because your heart’s going to be telling you to go in the right direction.

Okay, having this baby, it’s a neck down proposition. All right. Now, the third thing that you need to do and well, actually not do, but be aware of is you’ve got to understand what’s the primary driver in your life as a couple. Okay. Let me say that again. What’s the primary driver in your life as a couple?

Is it fear or your vision? Is it fear or your vision? They yield wildly different results. Be honest. What is the primary driver? All you have to look back on is like maybe the past four or five decisions you’ve made as a couple. Is it fear or is it vision? Is it playing it safe or is it what you really want?

Okay, is it a value based choice or is it a chicken little choice? And as soon as you come clean about this, you position yourself to make wiser choices. Fear based choices suck. They suck. They fucking suck. They will drain your resilience on this journey as quickly as they will drain your bank account.

Okay, so here’s an example. You’re too afraid to invest in treatment, so you go chasing after shiny objects, and then find yourself a year later with the fucking results the same, when had you gone ovaries to the wall with the best fucking care, the best fucking coaching, and a lifestyle you can be proud of, you could be pregnant or holding your baby by now.

What is your driver as a couple? Fear? Or vision? And I know that some may be, well, but, yeah, I mean, you can’t predict that. Nobody can predict that. But at least a year later, you would have known that you gave it your all, you didn’t dick around, going halfway on something that means everything to you. Just let that sit.

Make sure you do the exercises in the worksheet. You may be surprised at what you find. Rant over. Now, my love, the smartest thing you can do when you aren’t getting the results you want on this journey from your treatments, diets, lotions, potions, Is to, hey, look, go get help with your mindset because your success on this journey starts there, right?

Everything that brings your baby together, it’s like a mosaic, right? When you’re calling in this baby, there are many different pieces of the puzzle. But the most critical piece is how you think because you take that everywhere. Okay, that is what is deciding what your next step are. Okay, this is what decides whether you win or lose on this journey.

It’s the way you think about it. And if everything else is not working for you, for the love of all things, holy mama, I want you to be successful. You gotta be looking in that place. You cannot corners. Your mind is literally guiding you through. This journey and your life, and it better be in alignment with what you want.

And if you have trouble getting there, my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months, recession or not, and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind and body, so you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are committed to success.

They are more committed to success than their fucking excuses. So to apply for an interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodologies help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on the journey, baby, you gotta keep it all in your strategy.

Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. It’s a success you truly deserve. Till next time. Change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.

When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.