EP210 You ARE Fertile. Expect To Expect.

Do you have the guts to believe beyond your current results? Learn why directing your energy to your potential and what you desire is way more productive than focusing on the “problems” you face on this journey. I share the exact 3 things you need to know NOW to break free from that nasty recipe for regret.

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey. Just like I did get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, badassery, and loads of hell. Yes.

For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 210. You are fertile. Expect to expect. Hey loves, this week I want to draw your attention to something that many of us are scared shitless to embrace. You are fertile.

Let me say that again for the back row. You are fertile. I know that when you are on the journey and it seems like nothing is working and you just got another negative pregnancy test what I just said sounds like a whole bunch of hogwash, but it isn’t. It is not hogwash or wishful thinking. It’s a stance that every single woman who beats the odds on this journey had to embrace in one way or another.

There was a part of them that had to get their hooks in the idea and they held on to it. Even if holding on to it was at times tenuous. Even better, here’s something else you have to know. You can expect to expect and there isn’t a damn thing wrong with that. In fact, there’s everything right about the idea of you today, right now, Y O U, the woman you are today, regardless of your history, regardless of your past failures, believing that you can expect to expect And I will be sharing why.

Now, before we get to that, this is why what I’m sharing with you today matters. The sooner you get into a place where it is safe and natural to expect the good you desire, the sooner you position yourself to receive it. Plain and simple, when you drop the judgment, the doubt, and the indecision, you create an entirely different experience on this journey.

You stop blocking the good that you claim you want to call in. Said another way, this impacts the decisions you make and the opportunities you see and seize. This isn’t feel good nonsense, it’s actually practical as fuck. If you want to stop blocking your good in a number of ways, You’ve got to turn this episode up, because I’m going to be sharing three distinct pieces of information you will need to consider to right the ship.

If you even slightly suspect you’re blocking, you’re good. Okay? Also, to help you with the topic we’re taking on today, the team and I created a worksheet. Want it? The link is in the show notes to this episode, or in the email announcing this episode. It’s also in my link tree on Instagram, and if you aren’t following me there now, get your butt over to Instagram and start following me, at RosanneAustinFertility.

Just do it. It’s a great choice. Now, first, I want to tell you about something that inspired me to take on this topic. Last week, between my commitments for my coaching programs, I spent some time studying and upping my own game. You see, mindset isn’t something that I just teach, my ladies. It’s a skill that I am personally constantly working.

It is an obsession of mine. And in that process, I came across a quote from German poet and philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. It goes like this. Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming. Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming.

I sat with that quote for some time, really thinking. About the meaning and how that translates to this journey because for the most part the fertility quote unquote System as I will call it generally which is comprised of us The mainstream professionals we go to and this also includes their statistics and those around us is for the most part set up to do the exact opposite.

Think about that. We don’t really take a moment to treat ourselves As if we were what we ought to be, which in this case is fertile. And we also don’t expect those around us to treat us that way either. It gets really interesting. We look at ourselves as broken down. Old and biologically deficient for struggling with our fertility.

We beat ourselves up. And then we look at mainstream medicine. Now I’m speaking very generally because that’s certainly not the case always. And I’ve featured some great physicians who don’t treat women that way. But the mainstream medicine swoops in generally. with a litany of scary scenarios and statistics, rather than approaching us as someone who has the resources within them to be fertile, but simply needs support.

And then, we have those around us who may not completely understand what’s happening, and because of that, respond to us, for better or worse, with a cacophony of stories of others who struggled, suggestions to adopt, and sometimes pitying looks, which they may or may not. Intent. So when you take us, the quote unquote mainstream professionals, again, I speak generally, not of everybody, but just generally, and then those around us, when you combine those three forces, all thinking about us as being sort of a problem, nobody’s treating us as if we were the thing we ought to be, meaning fertile, the thing we desire to be, When you combine those three forces through the lens of an untrained mind, it can look like the perfect storm of how the fuck did I get here?

This ick is only amplified if you are a person that is generally not accustomed to this level of doom, gloom, and feeling ridiculous for trying. You see, when we are on this journey, we aren’t generally treated, and we certainly don’t treat ourselves, as if we were what we ought to be. Meaning, what our potential is, and that’s fertile.

The focus, instead, is on the problem. The conversation is about the problem. Our orientation is to the problem. We see ourselves as the problem. The expectation is for problems. This is insanely different from treating ourselves as fertile. Think about this. If you treat yourself as broken, and the quote unquote system sees you as broken, no one’s attention is effectively on what you are capable of becoming.

Think about it. This is, this journey is a becoming. You are becoming a mother. How different would you feel about yourself and this whole process if you and everyone else treated you as if you were fertile? Indeed, you may be in need of support, but you In your natural, most healthy state are fertile.

Think about how different this entire experience would be if the expectation was that you are fertile and we are simply looking for restoration and support of that innate fertility. What have you expected to expect? Think about Goethe’s words again, okay? Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming.

It’s incredible wisdom! When you think about this, if we treated people as if they had the potential to create anything they desire in this world, we are helping them become capable. Of what they desire to become. Do you see this? This is such a radical shift from where most of us live our journey. I didn’t see myself as fertile, I saw myself as quite the opposite.

Because everyone around me was telling me that. I never stopped to think critically. To say to myself, you know what, I was born with fertility. I have all of my parts, I get periods, sometimes, yeah, it’s kind of wonky, but like, I’ve got the potential. Can you imagine any other scenario where we would tolerate people treating us like garbage?

Because we’re struggling with something. Think about it. Think about the lack of humanity. Think about the lack of kindness. Think about the lack of respect that’s required for that. I have on more than a few occasions, and plus I live this myself, but I’ve on more than a few occasions heard women tell me horrific stories about how their dreams were just shat upon.

When they went to a clinic just wanting to share. Hey, you know what this is what I’ve got and you know These are the things that I’m working with I’m really looking for somebody to help me and and the response they get is a cold robotic recitation parroting of statistics and being treated as if they were broken rather than being treated as somebody who has the potential for fertility and Expecting those around them to treat this person As if they had the potential of becoming what they desire to become.

And that is fertile. Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming. Now, to be clear, This idea applies to us, the way we treat ourselves. It applies to everyone on our fucking bump squad, professional and non professionals, like personal relationships.

And let me be clear about something. None of this is about denying that your fertility may need some support. That indeed may be true. It was true for me. But in the end, that’s not a bad thing. But seeing yourself as simply needing support to get to the goal is very different than treating yourself and allowing others to treat you as if you have a problem.

When the problem is the focus, the problem gets the energy. When your innate fertility is the focus, your fertility gets the energy. Do you see that? This may sound like semantics, but it’s not. How you see yourself and how you allow yourself to be seen and treated in this process is massive. If you tolerate being treated as someone who is hopeless, if you tolerate being treated as if you were ancient, if you tolerate being told you are insane for trying in light of your past failures, You have to wonder how this is impacting your choices and therefore your results.

Not to mention what you are allowing it to do to your resilience. Think, mama, think about this. Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming. When we focus on the problem, We are giving our energy to what we think we can’t have. The orientation is completely different.

You attempt to solve problems very differently. When you approach failure as a foregone conclusion, I want you to really think here. Think about the people you invite into your journey. When you’re thinking to yourself, I’ve been trying to conceive for six years and nothing is coming of it. Versus, we know our natural state is fertility.

How can you help us get there from where we are today? Totally different energy. I mean, let me say that again. Think about the difference between if you’re quietly thinking to yourself, I’ve been trying to conceive for six years and nothing is coming of it, versus We know our natural state is fertility.

How can you, meaning the, the healthcare provider, the other member of your bum squad, whatever it is, how can you help us get there from where we are today? It’s totally different energy. Completely. And just think about how different a day on your journey would be if you treated yourself as if you were fertile and demanded that others treat you in the same way so they could actually help you become what you are capable of becoming.

Really think. Fertility is a spectrum. If you have ovaries and a uterus, you are on the spectrum. Even if you only have ovaries and eggs were collected, someone else could carry for you and you’re still on the fucking spectrum. You may not be using your eggs or your partner’s sperm, but your uterus is carrying this baby.

I mean, look. You are on the spectrum, doll. Do you see what I’m saying here? This is about learning to think about you and your fertility and the potential that you have in a completely different way. By beginning with a presumption of fertility and focusing instead on what you desire to be. And expecting everyone else that you invite into your journey to treat you that way, which will help you become what you are capable of becoming, and that, again, is fertile.

Now, I’ve given you this as a framework and some ideas to really chew on here. So if you really want to break past that, if you want to move past the idea that you are broken and get into the place where, yes, You are fertile and that you can expect to expect. Here’s some things that you need to know. And again, we have created a free downloadable worksheet and it’s going to be awesome for you to have as you’re working through what I’m going to present here to you in just a few moments.

So if you haven’t already downloaded it, go to my social media, specifically Instagram, you’re going to see a button in my link tree. You can easily download the worksheet. Or if you are on my email list, you would have gotten that invitation in the email. But in any event, here are the three things that I want to share with you that are going to help you Really wrap your mind around this and and help you move to a different place.

So number one What are you currently tolerating that keeps you in quote unquote broken? What are you tolerating from yourself your support team and others that is keeping you in the belief of broken? Instead of a belief in your fertility. Are you tolerating negative self talk? Are you tolerating your team answering your requests for resourcefulness?

By rattling off statistics. If you’re asking people for solutions, Hey, help me think through this. What are some different approaches? What are some different protocols or what else can I be doing to support my success here? And that’s met with just, well, you know what? You’re 45 and these are the statistics.

I mean, what you got to get beyond that. Are you allowing people around you to tell you that you’re crazy? Are you allowing people to dump their stories about other friends who struggled on you so that they can sound useful or like some kind of a fucking authority, right? What are you tolerating? Because if you tolerate broken, instead of fertile, you make fertile some far off distant place that you live in constant fear that you’re never gonna get to.

Okay, you feed its lack, not its abundance. You make broken your reality. While others make fertile their reality. See how much power you can have? I know there may be part of you that rejects this and says, But Roseanne, I don’t have a baby yet. How can I be fertile? Do you believe that the limit of your potential is that which you have in your life at present?

Is that the limit? Is, you think that the limit of your potential is just what’s in your life right now? Really? There are loads of potentialities in our lives, but we just can’t see them because they haven’t happened yet. Think that’s dumb? This idea has been showing up in sacred texts for thousands of years.

In the Christian Bible, Mark 11 24 specifically, we are told by Jesus, What things so you desire when you pray, believe you shall receive them and you shall receive them. His words were believe when you pray, not believe when you receive, this is the essence of expect to expect. And we see this in many different traditions.

Expect to expect done and done. There is nothing unrighteous or selfish about that. If you are praying for your baby, do you only believe that they will come when you hold them? Really? You might want to explore that if that’s the case. And I’m not going to go into it here because it takes us into an entirely different direction.

I did a three part series on faith. Regardless of your previous religious history, whatever you believe is absolutely welcome. You get to do you in that area. But it might be a place you want to look. Because, like, in any, any way that you cut it, suffice it to say, your current circumstances are not the limit of what’s possible for you.

And you can see this in your daily life right now. Chances are there are things in your life that you are so blessed by that you had no idea were coming your way. Just keep in mind, your current circumstances are not the limit of what’s possible for you. Now, the second thing that I wanted to share with you as you’re taking all of this in Is what belief or beliefs are keeping that lie alive?

Okay, think about what I asked you in the first question. What are you currently tolerating that keeps you in broken, right? So what are the beliefs that are keeping this idea that you are quote unquote broken alive? What are you tolerating? What keeps you in a place of tolerating? Things that are beneath you.

Treatment that is beneath you. People sneering at your dreams. It’s beneath you. What is the belief or what are the beliefs that are keeping you in that state? Keeping the lie that you are broken alive. Okay? Just make a list. And don’t overthink this. Okay? Now that you’ve identified what you’re tolerating, You know, what’s the belief that you’re holding onto to keep that nonsense alive?

Simple, don’t overthink it. What is the belief that’s fueling that toxic fire? Okay, now third, on your worksheet, I want you to write down the top five reasons you tell yourself this can’t work, meaning that you can’t have this baby. What are the top five reasons you tell yourself this can’t work, that you can’t have your baby?

Either the way that you want to have your baby, or At all. Okay? Because the reasons why you tell yourself you can’t succeed on this journey are exactly the beliefs you need to work on pronto. I mean right now. Because if those mofos take root and they are undermining your every move, You won’t do what needs to be done to achieve your goal on this journey.

The reasons you give yourself about why it can’t work are deeply rooted in your subconscious belief system, and you can’t let those nasties knock you off course. Your self sabotage pattern doesn’t give two shits about you living without regret, okay? They don’t, your sabotage pattern does not care if you live with regret.

It’s just there to keep you alive and allegedly comfortable. But living the life you truly want to live has nothing to do with comfortable. Your potential in this life is way outside of comfortable. And it has nothing to do with the mediocrity that your self sabotage pattern will damn you to. Okay?

Think about all of the incredible things that you’ve achieved in your life. You couldn’t possibly stay in your comfort zone and have achieved those. Because comfortable would have kept you on your couch. Doing what everyone else is doing. Right? You dared to go out and get an education. You dared to want more than what Uh, other members of your family had, you dared to go out and do something that was brave.

You know how to get out of your comfort zone, but this journey is a completely different ballgame. Okay, it is way more emotional, there is way more at stake, and it is something that not a lot of people understand. So you are having to use a skill set that either you don’t currently have right now or needs to be finessed for this journey.

Okay? You don’t want to live with regret. And, and you don’t want to live with the kind of mediocrity that your saboteurs and your sabotage pattern are all too happy to serve you up with. Okay? Can’t say I don’t love you enough to tell you the truth, Mama. I know, some of this stuff is probably grating on your nerves.

But I’m telling you, because I want you to be successful. Now, you are fertile. I don’t care if I’m the only motherfucker telling you that. There is nothing wrong with owning that about yourself. There is fertility in you. If it needs support, no big deal. Okay? That doesn’t make you less. That doesn’t make you broken.

You’re just getting support, and who the fuck doesn’t need support on occasion, right? There is nothing wrong with you expecting to expect. In fact, your expectation breathes life into the vision you have for this family. Indeed, the way that your vision unfolds, it may look different than you would imagine, but you know what?

Here’s the deal that I see constantly. Look, for the past eight plus years now, I have had the great honor and the bird’s eye view into women all over the world’s journeys. You Okay, things being different than you imagined is in your favor. Our best laid plans are just that, they are plans. What God Universe Source gives us is 10, 000 times better.

Treat yourself like you are fertile. Expect those on your team to treat you as if you are fertile. Y’all are simply working together to support that innate fertility which you were born with. I don’t care what condition you think you have. There’s something in you that is bigger than that. And I’ve been in Texas long enough to say y’all.

You want to bring that kind of energy to this journey, my love. You already know what fear and doubt feel like. Give yourself a chance to experience and create something entirely different. The smartest thing you can do when you aren’t getting the results you want on this journey from your treatments, diets, lotions, and potions is to get help with your mindset.

Your success on this journey starts there. Be part of the magic that women from around the world are bringing to each one of their cycles by being part of my signature live program. My Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months as a hell yes. To covering their bases, mind and body.

So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodologies help women around the world make their mom dreams come true.

Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success in this journey, baby, you got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review.

Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.