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With repeated failed IVF cycles and a miscarriage under her belt, Robyn at 44, could’ve given up. Learn HOW she went from feeling broken and hopeless to manifesting new rounds of IVF via insurance, being blessed by another woman’s eggs, and letting go of guilt about not giving her father a grandchild during his lifetime. AND she did it with ONE lone embryo!! You are going to LOVE this one!
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Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.
I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.
It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 228. From Clueless to Miracle Mama with one embryo, Robin’s story. Hey, my loves, I’m so excited to be here with you this week because we have another super inspiring testimony of yet another woman who beat incredible odds.
I think we’re in some kind of an interesting Cycle here where we’re hearing from so many of my ladies who basically had one chance, one embryo. And the cool thing about this is I want you to see how powerful your mind is when it comes to really beating the odds. Cause, you know, it’s really easy to get wrapped up in the idea that if you only have one embryo, you know, you, what you really need is 75 because you’ll feel so much more confident with 75, right?
We tell ourselves all that garbage all the time. What Robin’s going to be sharing today is a story that is quite the opposite and how you really can make this dream come true with numbers that probably look scary to other people because in the end, you are the common denominator. What you think and believe is what can make the difference.
Okay, you’ve heard it in Yasmine’s story where she got one lone embryo. Well, you’re going to hear how Robin beat the odds with her lone embryo. And in that process, re engage her self confidence. Move past old superstitions. She’s got a real funny story that she’s going to tell you about a black cat. But also, Overcame this, this sense of guilt that she had about not providing her dad who passed away with a grandchild during his lifetime.
Robin’s gonna be dropping so many bombs in this episode, and if you find yourself in a place where you’re agonizing over your numbers, how many embryos you have if you happen to be doing IVF, and you’re freaked out about whether or not your parents are going to be grandparents in their lifetime, you gotta turn this one up, baby.
So, here is my amazing conversation with Robin. Why don’t you just start off by sharing a little bit about how you found yourself on this journey to begin with, and we’ll start there. Okay. So it started off in 2018 when I started going to the fertility doctor because nothing was happening. I was already 40.
So you know, that’s, so that’s when I had started going and I just went through all the motions. Like I was very clueless. I didn’t even know these clinics existed, you know? And so I just was going through the motions. And the way it works with my insurance is that you have to go through IUI first before you can move on more invasive.
So I said, okay, why would, you know, I just figured whatever I did would work. It didn’t matter. So I went through the IUIs and nothing was happening. So then come January 2019, I started the first round of IVF and You know, I had a pretty good retrieval for what I was knowledgeable about and they got 13 eggs.
And out of all of them, nothing fertilized. So I was confused. I didn’t know, like, like how bad that really was or what it really meant. So the doctor said, we’ll try again. So I was like, okay, we’ll try again, you know, so I tried again. I, you know, threw in the acupuncture and whatever supplements, you know, people were recommending because I was willing to try whatever.
And I did better. I got three embryos. out of that round, and two were transferred, one was frozen, and nothing happened. So I said, okay, try again. So we tried again, you know, similar outcome, two were transferred, one was frozen, and nothing happened. So I’m thinking I’m broken. Something’s wrong with me, you know, like why isn’t it working?
Like you put the sperm with the egg, you put it in you and it, it should just work like, you know, you can’t get any, isn’t it funny how naive. We are where we think it’s just put that together and that’s it. Yeah. Like why wouldn’t it work? So, you know, and I didn’t get any of the embryos tested. I just figured it’s a 50, 50 chance it’s either going to work or not.
So why bother taking the extra step to get them tested? So I have no idea if it was me, if it was the embryo, like you just don’t know. And like the way. my insurance would work was that I got three rounds of IVF covered and three fresh transfers, three frozen transfers. So we kept banking the frozen embryo.
So I knew, I kept knowing that I had a chance, like my chances weren’t yet running out, but they kind of were coming close. So, you know, try it again. And then it just wasn’t working. And I was starting to get a little nervous, and then I started with the frozen. I had two frozen, so I wanted to do one at a time, even though my doctor likes to do two, but I kept trying to, like, prolong so that eventually it would happen.
And, you know, because the way things work for me, it’s like, whatever I put my mind to, I’m always successful. Like, it just, I never quit. I don’t fail. It just always happens. So I was like starting to, you know, be like, what’s going to happen? Like, when’s this grand finale? So magically, like, this is why I always think about like time and, you know, time’s on my side, like time is a big part of it because when I was going through the last, what I thought was my last, like my frozen transfers.
The insurance decided to do a revamp and everybody who was on the insurance plan got like a clean slate and we got three new, three new rounds, no matter what your history was. That was the hand of the divine, Robin, because nobody gets that. No. It’s it was like I couldn’t believe it like when it actually happened and it like hit me perfectly.
You know, some people like change insurances so that they could start over. Or people have no idea like if I had started earlier, I could have not even realized that this was happening, but it like came at like the perfect time. So I was able to start fresh. So I was like, this is great. So that That fourth round that I had, I actually got pregnant and I said, Oh, so this was like meant to be like, this is amazing.
And so it didn’t last too long. It only lasted about six weeks. So we never had a heartbeat. So. No, I had the surgery at the DNC and I, you know, it was a lot to get over. It’s, it’s hard to go through, but I wasn’t done. You know, I knew that there was more, so we try again, whatever. And then my. My last retrieval, I had like five follicles growing and, you know, I never had anything happen wrong in the past, but when I woke up from the retrieval, the doctor said to me, we got zero and I was like, I don’t understand.
How could that happen? Like, it’s not possible. Like, either he missed something or whatever. So I kind of felt very, like, defeated. Like, now what? But because I kept having the ones left over that were frozen from before, they still transferred an embryo. And, but there was like, that was it. There was no more embryos left.
And this one didn’t stick either. So I was devastated and When the doctor had called to tell me like, you know, you should call the office back, set up your exit interview. And I said, what do you mean exit interview? Like, how could this be the end of the road? Like there has to be more options. I almost spit my water when you said exit interview.
Like what? And he, you know, the doctor kept blaming it on my age. Now it wasn’t my doctor from the clinic, but you know, whoever’s like on the schedule to do the retrievals and the transfers, that’s who you get. So it wasn’t necessarily my doctor that I was dealing with, but it was one of the doctors. And I said, I don’t understand.
Like there has to be other options because before I had the miscarriage, my doctor was said, like. You may have to look, look into like a gestational carrier, because I didn’t know if it was me that couldn’t implant, or if it was the, you know, the embryos that were normal or not. But once I did have the miscarriage, she said, well, you know, you can get pregnant, so you may have to turn to donor eggs.
And at first I was like, not me, you know, why would I have to do that? And, you know, it wasn’t an easy decision, but the. The end goal was that I want a baby and we want to start a family and the fact from my last retrieval where zero eggs were collected was like, why go there again and take that chance when we do have other options.
So, you know, I just know like. Even though the egg didn’t come from me, the baby still didn’t come from me, and I’m going to be the one raising it. So I allowed myself to accept it and move forward. You’re dropping bombs there, woman, because I want to back up the bus a little bit. There were, there was something that you said, like, that I thought was really important.
I let myself accept it. Like, seeing this as a, Another like a gift, another option and one that your heart was open to and that at some level you understood in a very deep way that this baby, I mean, you wanted the birth experience. That’s obvious, right? Like you wanted to have that experience and there’s magic that happens in the womb, right?
It’s epigenetics, you know? Yeah. Somebody gave you an egg, but there’s incredible things that happen in the body. Right. So yeah, like I wanted to experience the pregnancy. I feel like it’s more connected. When it’s growing inside you, you know, like I, I can’t speak for a surrogate cause I didn’t go through that experience, but they have to be two totally different things.
But in the end, it’s the baby that you want and the family you want to grow. So however you get there is how you get there. It’s just that you don’t stop trying to get there. Well, so let’s talk about, because I think, you know, so many women are so afraid. Of that decision. Like, what was it for you that allowed you to accept it as you say?
Like, there had to have been a switch that flipped in your mind. I just think it was the goal in the end was, you know, to have the baby. And, and if that was my path to get there then that was the path I was gonna take. You’re so mellow, Robin. Like, I love it. Like, you’re just so like I mean And so let’s, before we get onto that story, like the rest of it, let’s talk about how we met because you are just, I remember from the first conversation that we had together, I’m like, this woman is so calm, but yet she also knows that there’s power in this mindset thing.
So tell me why you reached out, like, tell these ladies, like, what was it that an otherwise rational woman would reach out and want to do mindset work? Because I found your podcast after my miscarriage, like I just knew, like I was, I just got into podcasts and, you know, I found other topics. And then I said, you know what?
There has to be one about, about fertility. There has to be something. So I Googled it and you popped up, you know, and like the title, like fearlessly fertile, like that just really struck me. And I listened to an episode and another one and another, you know, like the fact that they are like shortened to the point and.
Like most other people say, it’s like, you’re talking to me, like just me, nobody else is listening, but you’re talking to me. And like, honestly, when I first started listening to them, I couldn’t listen to people tell their stories. Like it was too hard to be honest. Like I, I always had to pass over those.
And because I said, you know, like, just because that’s their story, it’s not. Me, you know, but like the short ones that you would do each week and those would strike me like now I listen to them all like I You know, I don’t know if it’s because I have my own story, you know to compare with but it just and you know, the way that you say like With it, you girls are serious within 12 months, like you want to be pregnant.
And I said, yeah, that’s me, you know? And I think I was 43 at the time also, when you always say when you had your baby and I’m like, this could be me, you know, and then 12 months past of me listening to it, I said, okay, this is enough. Like I could have. been part of the, you know, the ladies that had a baby within the past 12 months.
And I’m just still listening to the podcast. I have to reach out for my interview, you know? And when I was asked, like, what do you want for Christmas? I was like, I want this coaching. Like, I don’t want anything else for Christmas. This is what I want. And that’s why I started that week before the week before Christmas.
You know, is when, when we started and we went through February and it was, you know, in between where, you know, we received the donor eggs, and we were just waiting for the whole process to start. And you were like, this is perfect timing for you because you’re in like a little bit of a lull. And I think we could fix your mindset so that this go around.
It’ll work. And it did. So I haven’t told you lately, Robin, I fucking love you. I mean, you’re like, so even kill. Yeah. You know, we can fix your mindset. No work. And it did. I don’t know. And I love that about you because there’s this quiet confidence that I want to zero in on because you said that earlier.
To is that you’re the kind of person that when you put your mind to something, it happens. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it happens. So tell me what it was though, because like you could have easily skipped over mindset completely. You could have said, this is bullshit. I just need to get another round of IVF.
I don’t need to be doing coaching. That’s for the week. Like what was that in you that said, this is something for me because I know that it’s in me and I just need somebody to, to unleash it. You know, like I know, like I had the most negative thinking and I needed somebody to put like, like the fire under me to get it out.
And a lot of stuff that was said, you know, through your podcast, I, you know, I tried putting into practice and it was just. the direction I needed to go in. You know, like one of your, the podcasts that always resonates with me is the lady that can’t find her keys in her bag. And like, that could be me a lot of times, you know, and then I have to step back and say, like, There’s no reason to freak out because freaking out is not going to help.
And, you know, I started to just let the universe work for me. Like I have to take a step back and say, whatever’s going to happen will happen because it’s meant to be. And I just say like, you know, cause you always talk about Gus, God, universe. And source and like, I just started looking to the universe and say, it’s just gonna do what it has to do and it’ll lead me to the right place and pretty much worked for me, you know, yeah, well, so, but I want to make a refinement on that because you’re absolutely right.
And. You didn’t just lay on the couch passively waiting for the universe to deliver you a baby, right? Because I think some people have a warped idea of allowing the universe to lead you. But you were very active in pursuing this dream. You know, you did the things that you needed to do. You got the coaching.
You, you know, reached out and, you know, did all the stuff that you need to do to have the donor eggs. Like, you weren’t just laying around. Right. But, and all, you know, when I pick the, the donor eggs, you know, I pick a girl that had nine eggs and I said, okay, nine eggs, I’m going to have plenty of chances.
You know, cause there’s still that doubt, like it’s not going to work. And when they thought the eggs, eight made it, one didn’t make it. So I said, that’s not fair, but whatever, you know, when they fertilized and I got the phone call, like three fertilized. And I said, that’s, how’s that possible? And one turned into an embryo and I was devastated.
I said one out of, you know, nine eggs and only one. And we were. I was like, I wanted the doctor to like fib to the company and say, like, none of them worked and like start all over, you know, because you’re guaranteed one. That’s what they guarantee. And I was like, can you lie? Because one’s not enough. And it was during one of the coaching calls when I said, you know what, I only need one because.
It’s going to be the one like, you know, like you’re so mellow when you’re making your declarations. Well, so and wasn’t the one this was the one it was the one. And you know it took a little while for the transfer like I had told you like I had gotten sick a little bit before I was planning to transfer, but I do believe.
The universe did that because I feel like I wasn’t quite ready, like if I had gone ahead and just like transferred it right away. It might not have worked. I don’t know, but the time from one, you know, when I got sick and got better. So when I transferred in, you know, November, like I had more time to work on the mindset, but I also was able to get more of like a bump squad.
Like I met more people along the way that back in April, if I would have tried, I didn’t have that support, but I do believe, you know, time because I always told myself. that the only thing I haven’t tried is sooner. Like that was like my motto. And if I had tried sooner, I may not be where I am now. The fact that, you know, I had to push things off, helped me get to where I am.
And that’s how I think the universe. Wow. I mean, think about that, Robin, from a place of, Oh my God, I’m broken. There’s something wrong with me to this, like, the only thing I haven’t tried is sooner and things work out. I mean, like, that’s like a head transplant. Yeah. Like, I really think like. You know, you always say it’s my baby, my journey and my timeline, and it really was my timeline.
Like there’s no other way it would have worked out. Wow. Wow. Well, so how many weeks pregnant are you now? Tomorrow I’ll be 27. I mean, 28 weeks, I start the third trimester tomorrow. Can you believe we’re having this conversation? Yeah, I really can. Like it was a goal and, and like I said, I owe, you know, whatever I put my mind to usually works out in the end.
But honestly, if you had asked me like a year ago, no, I mean, it’s extraordinary to me how quickly you made that change though. Yeah. But also like you had said, like there’s always like the one thing that happens where like things just get lifted and you just allow it all to happen. And I feel like that had happened.
Like I have this crazy sequence of events that went on and like, I want to share them. I mean, it’s, it’s insane because So all I want for Christmas is this coaching. So this is before, like this is toward the end of the year. You finish up, you get sick, but by November you were pregnant and now you’re 28 weeks.
Like you, it’s like so much happened in less than a year. It’s crazy. Yeah, I agree. And then you build the bump squad that you were talking about. Like what other changes did you see? Well, I always one of my biggest saboteurs was guilt and I couldn’t figure out how to take, you know, guilt from being selfish from like from not feeling guilty.
You know, to like using no as a sentence and, you know, all different things like that. So this, this is what happened. So I was getting ready for the transfer, right? And like the nerves building up to it were just so bad because. It was like, you know, even though I had plan B lined up after it was, you know, it had to, it had to work.
It just, there was no option, you know, and so I was walking the dog and I saw a black cat like cross the street and I freaked out, like freaked out so bad because I’m like, you know, the trans, the trans was coming up and here’s a black cat and it’s bad luck. And I freaked out so bad that my husband was like, you have to like call your therapist.
This is not normal. And I’m like, it wasn’t normal, I admit it, you know, but like, I didn’t know like why I got so worked up because I saw this black cat. So what happened was when I was in the middle of like all the fertility stuff, like my father got sick and passed away. And one of the things that he, the last things that he had said, like, was that he’s never going to be a grandfather and it like hit me like really the guilt, you know, like the guilt hit me.
And so now I’m like, okay, so now it’s not going to work out. And I’m gonna not give my father what he wanted. And a memory had came up like on Facebook, you know, sometimes it’s like your memories come up when it was a picture of the two of us. So at first it was like a good sign. You know that I saw his picture and then I saw the black hat and I said, Okay, now this is bad.
And so when I had told my therapist the story, she said, I want you to print out the picture that of you and your dad. And I want you to carry it around with you, you know, and she tried to explain to me that because my dad had said, he’s never going to be a grandfather, what he wasn’t blaming me. It was just that he was going through things in his life that he didn’t accomplish and it had nothing to do with me, but the guilt in me, I was carrying that around for so long because.
I was trying my hardest to have a baby. It just wasn’t working. And I was thinking I was letting him down, you know? So I printed out the picture, but it was like way too big to carry around. It came like eight by, you know, a regular sized piece of paper. So, and this is where I think like You know where your help also came in because I thought of like an alternative.
So I took my phone and I made this lock screen, a picture of him and I, so I was like, okay, well this way I could carry him around with me all the time because we always carry our phone around. So I had him on my lock screen and I took the picture. And on the back, I wrote him a letter. So I wrote, so I wrote a letter to him and I folded it up.
And when I went to my appointments, to the transfer, I kept it like in my bra strap so that he would be with me. I mean, I don’t know how I thought of all this, but like, I think it was like the, what allowed everything to happen. Like it’s your highest self. Yeah, it’s you not afraid. It’s you taking a stand.
Remember? Yes. And yes, my father has passed away and I can take him with me. He can still be a part of this. And I, you know, I took him, I took him for the blood draw for the babies. I took him for the first scan and he was just with me the whole time because like I flipped it around and I made it instead of being guilty that I can’t provide him what he wanted his whole life.
And, you know, I gave him what he wanted. I mean, think about what had to happen inside of you, Robin, to make that. It was, I think, to me it was big. Like, I’m calm, but when I saw that cat, I was not calm. Well, here’s the thing. Black cats are now a lucky charm for you, sister, because clearly they’re not bad luck in your life.
Because think about that, how that black cat was a catalyst, a cat a list, for you to turn the story around. Yeah, I think it’s true. But like, every time I think of the story, it like freaks me out a little bit. Well, but you know, the other thing, this is living proof of what you were talking about before.
The universe is always conspiring in your favor. It always works out when you put your mind to it, when you became, because think about it this way, Robin, you could have been so locked up in a bullshit story that you couldn’t do this. You were too old. You had tried too many times donor eggs means that child is not yours, which is total fucking bullshit.
You could have gone off. Into a ditch and totally torpedoed your dream. Yeah, I wasn’t gonna allow that to happen. I mean and it’s incredible. I mean you’re showing that not only You know, you had this in you, we pulled it out, you know, and then let you loose out into the world. And months later, there you are making different choices, having the skill to turn it around when something really scary came up the black cat.
And I mean, think about the strength to keep taking that, think about the consciousness you had to have. To keep taking that letter, the scan, the betas. I mean, you had made a decision. It’s like a mic drop moment, woman.
It’s like, yeah. And when you just say like, there’s always that turning point, you feel it. It’s like very strange. It’s, you know, like I felt it like. I’d never felt like I had like so many people on my side, you know, like rooting on for me. And like I said, like time does play, like people say time’s running out, time’s running out.
But like I needed that time. It worked in my favor. Dropping bombs. Well, so what, you know, like if you were to think about what, remembering what it was like, cause you listened to the podcast for a year. Before you, you started doing the work, what would you want the women listening to know? Because there’s so many women that that say they want to go from being a listener to a guest, but there’s certain things that women need to know about that.
And I think you’re a perfect example. So what would you say to women listening? It’s the way that you look at things. Like it’s really the way that you change your mindset and unless you put it into practice, it’s like, I can, I listened to you over and over and over again. And, you know, some other, some episodes I listened to more than once and it’s until you actually put it into practice, you can’t see the results and I just feel that it all comes together at some point.
Yeah. It all comes together. And I think another aspect of that, though, is you have to be the woman that lets it come together. I mean, I think that was such a brilliant thing that you, you said very early on is the acceptance. And people think acceptance means, well, I’m just going to accept my shitty situation.
It’s not that it’s You know, acceptance is also about allowing and that’s what you did. Right. Wow. That’s incredible, Robin. I’m so, I’m just so delighted to see you in this way and to see what you have created in your life. It’s insanely inspiring. And so 28 weeks pregnant. So were you, so you were, were you 43 or 44 when you got pregnant?
44. Okay. All right. I’m like, yeah. And are you going to have a birthday before you give birth or are you going to be 40? No, I was 45 already. I already turned 40. All right. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. This is great. I mean, it’s just showing, I mean, and I think that the changes that you have made Robin.
You are going to be passing this goodness onto this child because of who you are being. And I think that’s the thing that a lot of women forget is that it’s also, it’s not just about getting pregnant. It’s not just about staying pregnant. It’s really about becoming the mom that you actually want to be.
Wow. That’s incredible, woman. Well, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m just so honored that the kindness and the generosity that you had to share your story here. And I think you’re going to be touching a lot of lives. So thank you. Thank you for having me. And I’m excited that I got to share the story.
Loves, didn’t you just absolutely fall in love with Robin? I love this woman so, you know. Like, so strong yet so kind of mellow, but, you know, it’s just incredible the changes that women can make when they make a decision that they are going to be successful. Robin moved past limiting stories about the use of a donor egg.
She moved past limiting stories about being a bad daughter because she didn’t provide her father with a grandchild during his physical lifetime. Like, just so much. And really digging deep to find that confidence in herself again, so she could lean into her dream, this dream of being a mom. And she did it at 44, I mean, it’s just crazy.
What is possible when you give yourself permission to want what you want. You know, she went from clueless about her fertility to being a miracle mom. So it’s just such an incredible story that I hope you all And look, if you want to learn what I taught Robin, my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months, just like she did, and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind and body, so you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret.
I work with women who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com, and apply for an interview there. My methodology has been used by women around the world to make their mom dreams come true. Their results, just like Robin’s, speak for themselves.
And look, baby, if you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, you’ve got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for incredible, outrageous, gorgeous, and just, ah, jaw dropping success. Until next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast?
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