EP90 Fearless Femme: 3-Step Holiday Prep

No matter how long you have been on your fertility journey, the holidays can feel like an emotional minefield. Learn 3 smart-AF steps for making this holiday season your best EVER, no matter what you’ve been through.

Transcript:
Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43 despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 90. Three step holiday prep. Hey loves, I am super excited to be with you this week because we are taking on a topic that I bet has been lurking in the back of your mind probably since last holiday season.

If you’re anything like me, I bet there was a point when you just said, yeah, no. No, no, no business as usual on the holidays is not going to happen. And there’s never a better time to be thinking about that than when you are on your fertility journey. And, and that’s simply for this reason, because it can feel like an absolute emotional minefield.

And that’s not just because the people around you are undoubtedly going to be asking questions and all of that good stuff or sometimes there’s even that barely detectable weirdness that you know is there. Everyone else knows is there, but nobody wants to talk about it. Kind of freaky shit that goes on.

But as women. Who live this journey consciously who are lovably type a control freaky and want to do something about their life other than just bitch complain and be a victim. We have to take the bull by the horns and the holidays are no different. Just like I preach to you mamas in the making about getting in front of your journey, taking control of your thoughts and beliefs, making your mind work for you.

We’ve got to do the same thing when it comes to. Events in our lives that can sometimes be a challenging and frankly, an invitation for us to get to the next level of the way that we think and believe on this journey. And I honestly believe that when we face challenges on this journey, it is indeed an invitation to step up, level up and get out of our rut.

Kind of rhymed and is a little bit annoying, but anyway, you get the point. So what I’m going to be proposing to you in this episode is a three step process for really making this holiday season different. And here’s why think about it, mama. This may be the very last holiday season you have before your baby gets here.

So, this isn’t just about surviving the holidays, you know, like that super low vibe bullshit that you might hear people trying to sling in your direction just because you’re on this journey, but this is truly a celebration. Of your journey and frankly, where you are on it, because your life, whether you realize it or not, can be very different 12 months from now.

Like when I think about the way that we live the holidays before Asher came, they were already a reflection of who we meaning my husband and I really chose to be. We really wanted to live big and and live lives on purpose. And that’s why you hear me say, like, the more we came alive in our lives, the quicker Asher got here.

So the reason for taking the time to think strategically about your holiday season is twofold. One, because you want to make sure that you are well taken care of on this journey, just because you’re on this journey doesn’t mean that you have to be under everyone else’s thumb or an emotional wreck or any of that shit.

All of that is fucking made up. But the, the second reason for you to get out in front of this and really be thinking critically about the holidays is because this may be the last time you do it this way, my loves. Your baby, when your baby is born. Man, there’s still plenty of time for you to get pregnant and have your baby by next Christmas, your Christmases or Thanksgivings or Kwanzas or whatever the hell you celebrate.

If you celebrate at all, maybe you’re just super happy and like a Christmas tree regardless of your affiliation and that, and just rock on with your bad self. You get what I’m saying. But this time of year will never be the same. So you really want to make an impact. It’s good for you. It’s good for the family that you’re building.

And frankly, it’s, it’s good for everyone else around you because it’s fucking time that they see you living big and, and really giving yourself the chance to live the juicy, fantastic. Just honey dripping life that you are born to have. Okay. You weren’t just put on this earth by Gus, God universe source to languish.

You’re here to truly thrive and honor the opportunity that you were given by being alive in this space and time on this planet. at a time of incredible prosperity and opportunity. So do not squander it by having a super low vibe holiday that sucks massive ass that you just look back on and say, why?

Okay. So here are the three steps that I would strongly encourage you to consider. So number one, get out in front of your holiday season. Okay. That, that is very simple. I’ve been kind of Sort of saying that up to this point, but I’m going to say it with zero fanfare or hesitation right now. Get out in front of your holiday season.

Here’s what that means. Know what you want. Okay. Don’t you, you cannot afford to leave this shit to chance. Get clear. You hear me talking about speaking precisely and concisely all the fucking time. This opportunity is no different. Get clear about what you want, alright? If you are sick and tired of going to Aunt Martha’s house because she’s gonna have a dry as fuck turkey again for Thanksgiving, or you really can’t stand your sister in law just being a bump on a log and doing fucking nothing while you and your family members are running around trying to like, Retake Omaha beach for Thanksgiving dinner.

Like, you know, get really clear about what you want. What do you want? All right. And be able to state that precisely and concisely in a single sentence with the fewest number of commas possible. Okay. So get out in front of your holidays. And part of that is know what you want. Be able to state it clearly, all right, clear Lee.

Now the second aspect of that is within the context of get out in front of your holidays is who do you actually want to spend that time with? Okay. So know what you want. And know who you actually want to spend time with because there’s nothing like the holidays for people to start laying the guilt trips on you.

Raising old, like. Family tiffs and all kinds of expectations and all of that other crap trying to lay it on super thick and distract you from what you want. So regardless of what’s been done in the past and so called family traditions, what do you want? And who do you actually want to spend time with?

So that’s the step one. Those are two components to one getting in front of the holidays. Okay. We are not going to stand by the wayside. Wait till 1159 on Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, or, you know, 1159 on the day before Christmas Eve, before you start fucking figuring out where you’re going to go.

Okay. Have a plan, know what you want, know who you want to spend time with and be able to articulate that precisely and concisely in a single sentence, fewest number of commas possible. And I always like to go for 10 words or less. So that’s the first step. The second step is you want to give yourself a chance.

To give the holidays a fearless twist, give the holidays a fearless twist. And so here’s what I mean by that. Even if you decide to go with tradition, I want you to ask yourself, how can you give it a fearless twist? Might that be setting new boundaries? Okay. Maybe you do go to aunt Martha’s house who has the dry as fuck Turkey.

But this year when somebody asks you, Hey, when are you guys having kids? Uh, you come up with a new answer instead of like sheepishly sort of like wishing you can just, I don’t know, blend into the paint on the wall. Maybe it’s time to just answer back and say, dude, seriously, why is this so important to you?

You’re going to be paying for their college. Hmm. You know, come up with something. And this is not about being combative or, or anything like that, but it’s about how can you do this holiday? Fearlessly, you know, and maybe for you, it’s not boundaries. Maybe your family has great boundaries and that’s great, but maybe it’s also perhaps about an all new menu.

Hey, maybe I’m Martha’s dry as fuck. Turkey needs to be replaced with some killer fucking tamales or I don’t know, Turkish food, some, something completely different from a tradition that will give it a fearless feel. It will give it a fearless twist. Something that breathes new life into an old tradition.

Or maybe everyone wears, I don’t know, doesn’t dress up. Maybe everyone comes in their jammies just because it feels fucking good. Or I don’t know. You know, you decide. You decide, but I want you to give yourself the opportunity to give your holidays a fearless twist. You know, maybe part of your fearless twist is going to be telling the truth when somebody gives you a gift you really fucking hate.

And that doesn’t mean that you have to be mean. You could just say, oh man, I really appreciate this, but you know, I would never wear this, but you know what? I totally love the thought. Would you mind if I got something different? I don’t know. People get so weird about that stuff and, you know, they’re, and it’s just, I could go do an entire episode on not telling people the truth, right?

Like the real cost, the real cost of not telling people the truth. It’s so much easier to just fucking be truthful, but you get the point. And these are all ideas. I’m not asking you to, you know, drop an atom bomb right in the center of your family holidays. What this is about is you becoming more authentic and fearless.

Not just in the way that you live your fertility journey, but really the way you show up to your entire life. You know, maybe finally, here’s another idea. Maybe the way that you show up with a fearless twist when it comes to your holidays is instead of doing a family gift exchange, which, you know, based on my previous comments can be woefully underwhelming.

Maybe what you end up doing is you all just exchange your favorite Charities, maybe instead of doing like a gift draw or whatever you guys do in your family, why don’t you just have everybody donate to your particular charity? Maybe if you really love your local animal shelter or you have, you know, a hospital charity or something else, like just say, come on man, like I don’t really need another reindeer sweater or some bullshit that I’m never going to wear again, that I’m only going to be mad at you because I have to take it back kind of nonsense.

Like, hey, just give to my favorite charity. Here’s their email address, or here’s their website. This is what’s really important to me. And, and you know what? That’s really awesome, because that’s some shit that everyone can do online, and everyone feels so much better when they give, unless you’re like a fucking sociopath.

But anyway. Enough of that. So you have two steps under your belt. The first again, remember, get out in front of your holiday season. All right, get out in front, know what you want, know who you want to spend time with, and be able to articulate that precisely and concisely. The second step was give the holidays a fearless twist mama.

It’s so good. Shake shit up, dust the cobwebs off. We’ve spent the last couple of weeks talking about becoming that fearless fan. And this is an opportunity for you to finally live that way. Okay. So give your holidays a fearless twist. And the last step in all of this. And this is really a ninja move. This is a queen move.

This is a lady boss move. And this is why I’m really encouraging you to do it because once you get into the habit of this, it can really be transformational. And that is specifically reserved sometime during this holiday season that is exclusively for you, just you mama. Just you, just a delicious few hours just for mama.

No explanations, no apologies, and no fucking guilt. You know, depending on where you’re at, I don’t know if window shopping is a thing or, you know, I live in Idaho, it’s fucking awesome. Like, everyone’s kind of over this nonsense. So, you know, you can, you can literally go anywhere. You know, even if for you it is just walking in the downtown, looking in the windows, Or sitting in a beautiful cafe if, if your area happens to be open and ordering yourself a, a beautiful, like wonderfully crafted, gorgeous coffee, decaf, or whatever the hell you’re drinking.

Or maybe if you’re truly fearless, you’ll go out and have a glass of champagne, you know, or whatever it, whatever feels really awesome to you. I can tell you that in the old days, one of the things that I used to do on my own journey is I used to sneak down to the San Francisco Bay area and I used to love to go to the rotunda restaurant at Neiman Marcus.

Like I, for me, that felt like being Holly go lightly in front of Tiffany’s. I mean, nothing could go wrong as long as I was at the rotunda in Neiman Marcus ain’t nothing going wrong. Boy, do I miss that because we don’t really have that in Boise, but you get the picture and we can all find. Some fantastic ways to reserve super special time for ourselves.

And, you know, as we come into the last weeks of the year, I think it’s really important for us to do our part in really honoring ourselves, honoring where we’ve been and really honoring what the holidays mean to us within the context of who we really are. Because if you look at these three steps to holiday prep that I’ve shared with you, they are you centric and they’re you centric for a reason, not because I’m, I’m trying to build an irrational army of narcissistic bitches, but because truly mama, you are the foundation.

Of your fertility journey. The one constant in all of this is you. And there’s never been a better time for you to be very clear about who you are and who you are becoming. Because my prayer for you is that, indeed, this is the last holiday season before your baby gets here. Why not fucking live it up?

Why not live it as the truly joyful, free, open, fearless woman you truly were created to be? Think about that. Think about all of the heaviness that goes away when you take away all the expectations everyone else has. When you just drop the yoke of tradition, if it doesn’t feel good to you, if it feels great, then awesome, but give it a fearless twist.

Put your brand on it, put something in it that is truly unique to you and not because you necessarily are looking to be a contrarian or disruptor just for the sake of that. But it’s about celebrating truth. It’s about really celebrating your uniqueness and making sure it doesn’t get lost in the washing machine of insanity that can really be operational during this time of year.

Really take this to heart, my loves. And, and here’s the exercise. I mean, I’ve basically given you the steps, but here’s the exercise to truly take these three steps to the next level. Okay. And, and the, the exercise is simple. Do it. Do it. That’s all you have to do is fucking do it. And you know what? This is just a place to start.

If there’s an additional couple steps that you want to take rock on. But the most important thing is that you actually do it. The last step in all of this love as usual is text the link to this podcast episode to someone who you think could benefit from it. Screenshot this episode and put it in your Facebook or Insta story tagging me love.

Do you realize there are only 46 days left in the year? There is still plenty of time for you to change the trajectory of your fertility journey. There is still time for you to learn how to think, believe, and take action like a woman who succeeds on this journey so you can make next year your best year ever.

It’s time to take control, mama. My fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases. Mind and body. So you don’t have to look back on this chapter of your life with regret. I work with women who are committed to success to apply for your interview for this revolutionary program.

Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, my darling woman, you got a gaping hole in your strategy.

Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.