EP10: Feeling like a Jealous Jane? Try this.

With baby bumps and pregnancy announcements lurking everywhere and the relentless minefield of social media, what do smart AF women do when the Green Eyed Monster makes her appearance? Learn how to silence your inner Jealous Jane with a quickness!

Transcript:
Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist, I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure.

I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby. Fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 10.

Feeling like a jealous Jane? Try this. With baby bumps and pregnancy announcements lurking everywhere and the relentless minefield of social media absolutely bombarding us, what does Smart as Fuck Women do when the green eyed monster makes her appearance? We’re going to talk about that and how to silence your inner jealous Jane with a quickness.

Let’s start by straight up admitting that jealousy exists on this journey. It sucks. It’s not ideal. Unchecked it will eat us alive. It’s completely misguided and deep down it makes us feel ashamed. Pretty gross cocktail right there. But, it’s real. It seems like everywhere we turn on this journey, there’s an opportunity to take our conflictingly complex feelings of jealousy, resentment, and shame to the next level.

I remember seeing a pregnant woman at the grocery store during a particularly deep, dark, low point on my own fertility journey. I distinctly remember admiring how beautiful she was, then quietly earning a gold medal at my own mental hate olympics. I’m not ashamed to admit I was a hating ass bitch back then.

I fully own that part of my own personal growth. I tortured myself as I watched her, meticulously scouring her for some patent or latent clue for why she was so much better than me. I would drive myself totally batty, asking ridiculous, time wasting questions like, Why was she lucky and I wasn’t? Yikes, oh gosh, even remembering how that felt, like, ugh, even asking that question, today it feels so revolting and victim y.

But that’s where I was, and the truth is, whatever momentary relief I had in hating on that woman was fleeting at best. It left me feeling more empty and alone than I ever had. I felt so gross holding negative energy about this unsuspecting, probably amazingly awesome woman. But again, that’s where I was, jealous and self loathing.

Being caught in that jealous place was exhausting because it required some mental acrobatics on my part to parse out my resentment from my genuine happiness for this precious woman. So more often than not, I would just keep spinning in jealousy than feeling bad about being jealous. Can you feel me on this one?

Noticing this about myself represented a significant turning point on my own journey. And what’s really interesting about jealousy on this journey is that as professional, accomplished, educated women, we wouldn’t readily characterize or categorize ourselves as jealous. We kind of overlook the possibility because shit in every other aspect of our lives is going pretty well.

We typically have all the physical and material trappings of success. So we don’t even consider the possibility that we might, eek, be a jealous jane. This is what makes creeping jealousy so insidious. It can go unrecognized, or even worse, we justify it or blow it off entirely. In either event, we lose. So where the hell does this bastard jealousy come from?

Well, jealousy has many facets. I want to zero in on one of the key culprits, and one that probably doesn’t get as much discussion as it probably could. And that is Lack and Scarcity thinking. This kind of thinking is based in the bullshit notion that there is only so much good, money, chances, or opportunity to go around.

So if your ship hasn’t come in, it’s because somebody already took it. You know lack and scarcity are in the room when you hear gross shit like Some people are just lucky. If it was gonna happen, it would have already happened by now. You’ve failed so many times already, why don’t you just give up? I can’t possibly spend that much.

If it doesn’t happen quickly, I’m gonna miss out. AKA FOMO. Or, the granddaddy of them all, you can’t have it all. The lack and scarcity thinking that fuels jealousy presupposes you are at a disadvantage. It’s a complete and total betrayal of your personal power, and even worse, it flies in the face of the fact that there is no actual lack or scarcity in the world.

There are countless opportunities to share in the abundance, if you are willing to take responsibility for tapping into it. Jealousy on this journey comes down to the ratty ass belief that you can’t or aren’t likely to share in the bliss of being a mom. Can you see why jealous, lack in scarcity thinking is fucking toxic?

Not just because it feels like shit, but because it can literally sabotage your results? Think about it. If you’ve told yourself other people are just lucky or that you probably aren’t going to share in any of that, how likely are you to give this journey your all? If you’re quietly telling yourself that other people are just better than you and they get all the lucky breaks, how motivated are you going to be to get that second, third, or fourth opinion?

How likely are you to follow through on your diet? What opportunities will you miss because you’re so focused on what isn’t working out for you and how you are a victim in this process? How strategic can you be? thinking from a place of jealousy and that you can’t actually have what you want. How likely are you to actually cover all your bases on this journey so you can actually be confident you are doing everything you can to get pregnant stuck in a place of jealousy?

Jealousy will lead you down the lame path of making fear based, short sighted, cheap as fuck decisions that will open you up to massive regret. Look, my love, here’s what you got to understand. Other people’s good fortune on this journey has nothing to do with you. It says nothing about you, your prospects, or your chances.

And quick pro tip, if you find yourself feeling jealous on this journey, there’s a good chance you are carrying around the lack and scarcity thinking that fuels it in other aspects of your life. Jealousy has a ripple effect, so look out for it and its greasy fingerprints on other parts of your life. My darling woman, give this the boot today.

Being trapped in jealousy is like drinking poison and hoping it’s going to harm someone else. That negative energy has to pass through you before it gets to anyone else. Yuck! Here’s an exercise to help you stop jealousy with a quickness. Notice what you say about you when you get caught in a spiral of jealousy on this journey.

Ask yourself, what whiny, lack and scarcity based story are you telling you about you? Then you’ve got to ask, how might this be impacting your strategy on this journey? What opportunities are you not seizing because of it? Could the way you are thinking be standing in the way of you finally getting pregnant?

Remember, my love, jealousy fueled by lack and scarcity thinking can keep you trapped in a pattern of making avoidable, unnecessary, expensive, and downright amateurish mistakes on this journey that will keep you out of the winner’s circle, mama. Kick that shit to the curb. Notice the lack and scarcity story when it shows up, and call that shit out.

And besides, Gorgeous, you don’t have time to be a jealous Jane when you are busy covering your bases and savoring the sweet confidence of knowing you are truly doing everything you can to make your mama dreams a reality on this journey. Don’t let being a jealous Jane be your weak link. If you want to learn more about me, My coaching practice that’s helping women become moms, finally.

My online courses that are changing the lives of women across the globe. Or read my amazing client success stories. Check me out at www. frommaybetobaby. com or see what I’m up to on Instagram. At Roseanne Austin Fertility. Till next time, my darling. Change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast?

Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.