EP32: Fertility Success Principle #2

In this special Fertility Success Principles episode, we breakdown a key characteristic of women who beat the odds on this journey. Many of us fool ourselves into thinking we are “this,” but we aren’t. #truthbomb. Failing to cultivate this characteristic will keep you in a pattern of making decisions that suck. Learn how to apply this game-changing principle to your journey TODAY. Share a link to this episode with someone you love!

Transcript:
Hey gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43 despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey. Just like I did get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell. Yes.

For your fertility journey, it’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the fearlessly fertile podcast episode 32. Fertility success principle number two. Oh my loves, I am so excited to be here with you as usual. But this week, oh man, in particular I am super pumped, super jacked, super over the moon, man.

My ladies in the Fearlessly Fertile Method program are just rocking it out. Oh man, two out of the first five that enrolled, gosh, a couple months ago, are already pregnant. And it’s just blowing my mind how powerful, I mean I see this all the time, but it’s such a cool reminder of how powerful each and every one of you can be when you bring the power of your mindset to this journey.

And two of these women, I mean, these are women that have been trying for years. Okay, repeated attempts, repeated failures, finally get their mindset on board, finally start doing this journey differently. Boom, boom. I mean, it’s just incredible. And this is why what I’m going to be sharing with you this week is even more important.

And I love breaking down fertility success principles for you. And number two is so good. And just so you know, I am not presenting these to you in any particular order of importance because everyone’s journey is a little different. So I want you to take these principles and order them for yourselves.

You know, you decide the order. I’m presenting the information, but as a grown ass woman, you get to decide the order you choose to give these principles, knowing that each one of these principles is, in fact, a success principle. But, you get to decide what rank they have in your world, and depending on your circumstances.

So, The funny thing is, is that this particular principle is something that we all think we’ve got going on for us. But most of the time, we don’t. In fact, we spend more of our time out of alignment with this principle than in it. Okay, so without further ado, fertility success principle number two, my darlings, is presence.

The state of being present. Now think about it. If you really consider where your head is at on this journey, most of the time, if you are honest, you are either reliving shit from the past or agonizing about what lies ahead. These two extremes are often the primary lenses through which we consider this journey.

For the sake of creating some sense of certainty in the face of something inherently uncertain, we try and use the past to predict what is going to happen next, or we throw ourselves into a future tripping tailspin to try to what if ourselves to death and account for every possible twist and turn. It is crazy making.

The common denominator between reliving the past and future tripping is fear. And while, indeed, reliving the past is fairly self explanatory, for our purposes here, let me just be really clear about how this might look in your life. This is when we find ourselves saying, Holy shit, I failed the last seven cycles, so I must be destined to fail, therefore I should probably just give up.

Nothing ever works for me, shit is always hard for me. This is so fucking unfair, blah, blah, blah. Might sound familiar, right? Reliving the pain from your past makes you fearful of failing again. That ultimately puts you at risk of getting out of the game entirely, and therefore sabotaging your chances of ever making your dream of being a mom come true.

Even if you don’t step off this journey entirely, living in the past will dramatically narrow your field of vision, therefore leaving you in a state of myopathy about the past, your choices, and you name it. The past, you must understand, my darlings, is no foolproof predictor of the future, particularly when we’re dealing with something as delicate, elusive, and miraculous as new life.

Think about how ridiculous it is to rely solely on the past When dealing with something like that. Indeed, the past provides information, but unless you intend to damn yourself to the results of your past, It is only part of the picture. Now, let me give you an example of, of how extreme we can go with this.

And, and this is just one example, but it will certainly demonstrate how insane sometimes our thinking can get when it comes to the past. So, I was speaking with this woman not that long ago who was working on her fertility and, and when it came down to making investments, not just in working with me, but in investments on, you know, nutrition and all these other things, It came out that she wasn’t willing to make any investments to support her goal based on the market crash in 2008.

I remember thinking to myself, whoa, whoa, whoa, did, did she just say 2008? I, I was like, that is fucking 11 years ago! The current state of the economy is awesome, jobs are steady, and besides, what the fuck does either of those indicators have to do with you having a baby? Yikes! That’s what I’m talking about, ladies.

Like, this is serious. Like, sometimes we get so wrapped up in living in the past that we don’t even make sense. Future tripping, on the other hand, leaves us in a similar perilous position, as we try to fear rehearse every possible potential scenario that could come up on this journey. It leaves us so paralyzed of making the wrong move that we end up like deer in headlights.

The whole Nostradamus routine we try to pull on our journey is utterly pointless. I remember getting a piece of advice from my old trial advocacy professor in law school, and he told me, a trial like life is a moving target. Expect the unexpected. Notice he didn’t say expect the worst, He said, expect the unexpected.

What’s funny about that is that for most of us, we’re just intellectually dishonest about what scenarios we run. We almost always focus on negative possibilities and negative what ifs. When the reality is, it is equally as possible that some what if that’s really awesome is just as available to us. So, notice how much time you spend in either the past or the future.

I bet there are a few times already during the short duration of this podcast that you’ve already found yourself in either. Snap out of it! Get present! What living in the past or future tripping robs you of is the chance of an entirely new perspective and what is available in the present, my love. The present is a fucking treasure trove of possibility on this journey.

When you are present, you can actually see shit. You can see patterns you are engaging in, you can actually hear the words people are saying to you. You can actually feel what is real, rather than slipping into the past or beating yourself up with what is. As you listen to this, there are literally opportunities for you everywhere that you just can’t see because you are not present.

This directly impacts your decision making, love. And if you want to make great decisions on this journey, you must be present or you run the risk of setting yourself up for the most expensive thing in the world. Regret. Think back to all of the Miracle Mamas I have featured on this podcast. All of them demonstrated the principle of presence.

They refused to live mired in the bullshit in their past or paralyzed by what ifs. They were present with their desires and made decisions from that place. Every single one of them had significant challenges they were facing, and when they applied this principle of presence and got out of the foolish pendulum swing between the past and the future, they found power in the present.

Getting present is also a way to beat back fear and negativity because instead of playing old tapes from the past or engaging in foolhardy speculation, You can be fully cognizant of what is directly in front of you. I know for sure that this is not the first time you’ve heard this notion, but sometimes we have to hear something thousands of times in the right context.

Now, there’s certainly a place for reflecting on the past, harvesting the lessons, and certainly considering the future. But you can’t let either of those realities steal what’s available in the present. People who work well under pressure are those who have the ability to get present, respond in real time, rather than falling to pieces like a scaredy cat.

Consider this really powerful training for being a mom because the challenges you’re going to face when you are actually holding that baby, you’re going to need this. You’re going to need to be present. Lastly, the calming effects of being present are amazing! While reliving the past or future tripping is riddled with freak out, the present can be a gorgeous respite.

A couple nights ago, when I was making a killer dinner for us, with a gorgeous fire going, Miles Davis blowing in the background, and a really beautiful glass of wine in hand, I just caught myself starting to think ahead about all the meetings I had, all of the travel I have coming up, the preparations being made for my print book.

and other big, exciting projects I’m working on that I actually felt myself starting a future trip. Having trained myself to notice when I am in either place, in the past or in the future, I immediately became aware of what I was doing and presented myself with a simple but powerful choice. Am I going to future trip right now and squander this beautiful moment I have with the two men I love most in the world?

My husband and Asher. Or, am I gonna be present and soak all of this goodness in and lap it up like honey? No question! I chose the latter. The other thing that being present provides you is the ability to be in touch with your wants and needs. And when you are present to those wants and needs, you are also able to communicate those to people that can help you.

Alright? Presence. The state of being present is a success principle. The more present you can be, the more intelligently you can respond. Being present sets you up for success. This is what you’ve got to do. When you apply the principle of presence on your journey, anything is possible, doll. Even the seemingly impossible.

So here’s an exercise to take this to the next level. Practice presence. And here’s how this goes. Three steps. Easy peasy. First, ask yourself, if you feel like you’re not present or you’re catching yourself in the past or the future, say, where the fuck am I right now? Past, present, or future tripping?

Second, choose present. Say, I am present, dammit. Third step, immediately identify 25 things around you. Look at the things, feel the temperature in the room, get the smells in the air, become present. Literally name 25 things. I can see my vision board, I can see my calendar, I can see my laptop, I can see my cup of coffee, whatever it is.

Count 25 things around you that brings you immediately into your present set of circumstances. Your life is now, my love. When you are present, you have the power of choice. Okay? Practice presence. The best insurance policy you have for success on this journey lies between your ears. What you think and believe will dictate your choices, actions, and therefore, your results.

It’s logical, linear, and true. If your head is not in the game on this journey and your mind is not trained for success, love, you’re just gambling. When you’re making big investments on this journey, can you really afford to have your mind working against you? No, no you can’t. Not if you’re serious about success.

Women who beat the odds on this journey show up to it mind and body. My ladies learn how to think like women who succeed on this journey and that’s why they win. You’ve heard so many of them on this podcast. The results speak for themselves. Enrollment in my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is open.

This program is for women who intend to be pregnant in the next 12 months. To apply for your interview to be part of this revolutionary program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for your breakthrough session there. My methodologies help women around the world make their mom dreams come true.

If you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, love, you’ve got a gaping hole in your strategy. Let’s fix that. Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.

When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.

Rosanne offers a variety of programs to help you on your fertility journey — from Self-study, to Live, to Private Coaching.