Infertility and Holidays: A Combustable Combination?
Before I got smart and took charge of my fertility journey, the holidays felt like an utter minefield of dread and heartbreak waiting to happen.
- Who would be sending me a holiday card with a gorgeous, cherubic photo of their baby pasted to the front?
- Who was I going to run into (that I hadn’t seen in ages) that would remind me that “the clock is ticking” and that I better get to the business of having a family?
- When would that moment creep up on me when I would feel the pangs of not having my own reason to buy one of those photo ornaments that says, “Baby’s 1st Christmas?”
- Would I have the strength to perma-grin my way through being baby-bombed by some unsuspecting proud parent (at a party) who had no clue what my husband and I were going through?
Agony, I tell you agony…until I made the decision to stop being knocked around like a pinball by the holidays. Like most things that are truly life changing and stick, it started with vision.
What Is Your Vision For The Holidays?
Take a moment to ask yourself, “what do I really want the holidays to be like this year?” Take the time to get some clear images in your mind. How do you want to feel this season? Who do you truly want to spend time with? Are you really up for going to every party or get together you are invited to? How do you want to react to reminders that you are still waiting for your baby? Your answers will help you create your vision for the holidays. Use your vision as the foundation for a wise plan!
Creating A Vision-Based Holiday Plan
Vision in hand, it’s time to put together a plan. For example, if you envisioned a quiet and calm season, what choices can you make in alignment with that? Politely declining a few more invitations that usual? Saying “YES,” to having the celebrations in your own home, so you control the guest list? Maybe it’s getting away with your partner. The possibilities are endless.
Anticipate that there will likely be some uncomfortable moments! People may unintentionally say things that hurt and chances are you won’t be able to avoid babies completely, so decide now how you want to “be” when those situations pop up. Will you have a rehearsed response to that dreaded question? (You know exactly what question I am talking about.) Will you quietly say a mantra when you start to feel down after being faced with someone else’s baby joy? (“I will have the family I dream of,” is a simple and effective go-to mantra!) Create ways to take care of YOU.
When you have a vision and a plan,
you say goodbye to having your holiday joy hijacked by
chaos and overwhelm.
Use your vision to create a holiday season that is uniquely you and respects where you are, here and now, on your journey. Be empowered to make this your best holiday season yet!
With Love + Respect,
© 2014 Rosanne Austin