This time last year I lost one of the great loves in my life.
It was a day that I knew would come, but that knowledge did nothing to dull the pain.
The minutes, hours, days, and weeks after my loss were soul scorching.
There was a gaping hole in my heart.
There were moments when I wondered if I could ever really get back to "normal."
My amazing husband and the people who love me did their best to console me and for that I am eternally grateful.
But the truth was, the pain was mine and mine alone to process.
I couldn't have done it in the empowered, truthful, and healing way in which I did, without a gift my fertility journey repeatedly thrust in my face:
The path back to my faith.
My faith in a power greater than my limited imagination.
Call it God, Source, Infinite Intelligence, the Universe, or whatever you choose.
I am not here to proselytize.
What I am here to do is love you enough to encourage you to honestly explore what you believe.
I know first hand that the disappointments, the losses, the heartbreak, and the insanely unpredictable timeline are enough to test anyone 's faith...in anything.
For a time, I lost my faith.
AND, I also know that there were signs EVERYWHERE that something bigger had my back...nudging me each and every step of the way.
I simply had to choose my faith in that "something bigger" to see them.
(I wrote about one of the most powerful signs I received--check it out here.)
With the support of your faith, you can drop arbitrary timelines, notions of being punished, strangling attachments to exactly HOW your baby will get here, beating yourself up, jealousy, and other crazy-making on this journey.
Faith will open your field of vision to countless possibilities, inspire you to make bolder moves, and most importantly, empower you to see that things are happening FOR you on this journey--not TO you.
Lead with faith and you will triumph--not fleeting or conditional faith--the real shit!
Have lingering doubt about faith?
What I didn't know a year ago was that within seven days of my loss, a miracle was set in motion...
...in spite of my age, 84 "failures," $100k, and ZERO scientific evidence in my favor.
Today, we call that miracle Asher Douglas.
My son turned three months old on the one year anniversary of losing someone I loved with all my heart. Coincidence? Not an f-ing chance.
I have no doubt these two angels high-fived as they crossed paths.
My ladies fuel their journeys with faith.
They understand that both faith and fear require them to believe in something they can't see--they choose wisely.
Decide you will be one of them.
Change your mindset, change your results.
Intrigued? Here 's an exercise to take this to the next level...
Explore your spiritual beliefs...your faith.
Do you feel connected to something bigger on this journey?
Has your faith been shaken? How can you deepen it?
Is it time to put down your dukes and open your heart to the power that put you in this time and space?
What are the signs you might be ignoring that, indeed, the Universe has your back?
With an open heart you will be able to connect the dots.
Give yourself a chance to bury the hatchet with your faith, up-level it, and let it lead the way. You may begin to see how it's been conspiring in your favor the whole time.
Stretch yourself. Remember, it 's about progress, NOT perfection.