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This post was authored by Rosanne on Rosanne Austin.
Grossed out by your own self-pity. The cure lies in a single sentence. Learn what that sentence is and why it makes such a huge difference.
The post EP177 The Cure for Feeling Sorry For Yourself appeared first on Rosanne Austin.
Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, fertility mindset master, former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.
I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43. Despite years of fertility treatment failure, I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey. Just like I did get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine, badassery, and loads of hell. Yes.
For your fertility journey. It’s time to get fearless, baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 177. The cure for feeling sorry for yourself. Hey loves. Aw, shit. I just could not resist spending a little bit more time with you this week. Kind of going hard again.
Last week we were talking about being better. We’re going to take a different angle than we did last week. And we’re going to get a little nerdy about the subject of feeling sorry for yourself. And I want to say more about that because I think it’s a place where a lot of people get confused, right?
People get really stuck in black and white thinking about, Oh, are you saying I can’t have an emotion and I can’t do this and I can’t do that? Nah, you get to do whatever the hell you want. The question is, is what you’re doing effective, right? So that’s what we’re going to be zeroing in on here, you know, today.
Because look, it’s completely valid to have. Frustration, be sad, be disappointed, have grief, be angry, you know, all of these things. Like, all of that shit is real, and all of that shit is valid. But there is a point when having those very real and valid emotions, For some, gets to become a lifestyle where people kind of keep circling the drain with that and find themselves months or years down the line still repeating the same shit, not changing their results, not progressing, not moving forward.
You know, in the way that they actually want to, and then they wonder why, right? You know, because thoughts, beliefs, actions, results. You know, that’s something that I share with you all the freaking time. Your mindset is the foundation of the experience you create, not just in your life, But on this journey, you cannot get around it.
It is logical and linear. Everything begins as a thought. So if you stay stuck in a place where nothing ever works out for me, everybody gets whatever they want except for me, everything is so hard for me, why me, all of this shit, you’re gonna end up finding yourself in a place of self sabotage. And self pity, which, as I said last week, is an utter blasphemy to the power that brought you here.
There are no extra humans. You are here for a purpose. You are here for a reason. And that this desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. So when you stay stuck in a place of self pity, you’re basically denying that this feeling that you have in your soul is actually for you, because you’re, ah, this is never going to happen.
It’s quite different than being a person that says, you know what, I have this feeling, and, and if I have this feeling, it must be for me. I may not know when, I may not know how, but I know that if I have this desire, it is meant for me, right? Even just take a look at the sound of those two positions. Oh shit, never works out for me, my life sucks, everyone else is progressing, blah blah blah.
Versus, hey, you know what, I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom. This desire is in my heart. I mean, even if you fucking decided two weeks ago that you want to be a mom, that’s just as valid as somebody who’s wanted to be a mom all their fucking life, right? I mean. Who cares? If you have a desire, it’s there because it’s something higher.
It is the universe wanting that through you. So it’s fucking valid, okay? So once you get really into that, and you really onboard that, then when you have You know, a situation where you’re, you’re, you keep circling the drain and you start to feel sorry for yourself. You can see how absolutely counterproductive being in that place is.
That’s why you need a solution. And that’s what we’re talking about today. The cure for feeling sorry for yourself. You know, and I’ve had the, the amazing blessing of having some of the most incredible mentors. I seek out the best because I want the best. I want to learn from people that are actually doing.
Not people that just read about this shit in a book, but I seek the best of the best and I consistently make Investments in my own education and my own mentorship because there is so much more to learn and this idea that you’re going to do it all on your own and that you’re going to figure all this out.
I mean, look, anyone that’s actually achieved success had mentorship. And so I was having a conversation with one of my mentors. You know, not that long ago. And the subject of feeling sorry for yourself came up and, and how, you know, there’s a tendency culturally for us to look for other people to blame.
It’s somebody else’s fault. We take it out on our doctors. We take it out on our acupuncturists. We take it out on our coaches. And we very like reluctantly look at ourselves, which is what our conversation in episode 176 was about is being better and asking yourself the hard questions. Well, One of the things that my mentor raised was, hey, the surest way to get out of this fucking pity party is to take a look at yourself and remind yourself that you get to do this.
You get to do the thing that you’re struggling with. So here’s how that translates to this journey. You get to be on this journey. You get to be on it. Like, think about what that means. You want a baby. You are going for this dream of, of having this family or completing your family if you already have a child.
Like, you get to do this. Like, nobody’s forcing you to, to live your dream, right? And, and when you get that and say, look, uh, you know what, I want this thing, like, I want this baby, I get to pursue my dream. It, it’s a massive shift because instead of seeing this journey as a fucking curse, an albatross. And like the universe has it out to get you, you see the privilege, you see the blessing, and you see the gift of being able to pursue your fucking dream.
I get to do this! I get to do everything I know to do and more to make my dream come true. Do you see how in that single sentence it upends all of the fucking self pity? It puts the power back in your hands. I get to do this, motherfuckers. I get to pursue my dream. I get to get up in the morning and decide that I want my baby more than I want my self pity and more than I want my fear and more than I want staying the same.
I get to change. I get to be better. I get to do this. Really think about that because truly every person that has done anything of any value at some point had to stop feeling sorry for themselves over their setbacks, put on their big girl panties, and say, you know what? I’m doing this. I’m doing this because my success means more to me than staying stuck.
I get to do this is the cure for feeling sorry for yourself. Now, chances are, un, Questionably, there will be your saboteurs, your self sabotage pattern that is going to tell you, what do you mean I get to do this? This journey is so hard. This journey sucks. I have so much pain. And the question is. And, right, like so much that we come up against in this life, when we’re making big leaps, when we’re growing, when we’re expanding, when we’re doing something new, when we’re doing the shit that matters, that kind of is part of the deal.
Growth can be painful. Growth and getting to where we want to be takes Discipline, it takes decision making, it takes being willing to put in the work. I mean, I serve women all over the world who have a zillion letters after their name, they’re super fucking accomplished, and they’re able to say, you know what, and I want that too.
So I get to do this, right? And in your professional world, nobody promised you that as soon as you finish your education, you would get XYZ. No, you got to do the discipline. You got to put in the work. This journey is no different. You get to do this. It is, you know, it’s one of the great honors in my own life is watching women go from a place of disempowerment into, you know what, motherfuckers, I’m getting mine, right?
It’s incredible because when you make that shift, you put yourself back into control of your own life. Nobody is forcing you. To pursue your dream. You choose to pursue your dream. And as part of that choice, you got to take the good with the bad. And sometimes, I mean, it’s totally legit to be in a place where you’re like, Oh my gosh, can I not catch a break?
Right? That’s all valid. It’s all valid. And you get to do this. You get to do this, you know? And I think that for those that are really committed to success. Onboarding this, yeah, it’s probably gonna, you know, it’s certainly a mindset shift, but you’ll get it. You’ll really get it, because you’re gonna see that the payoff is grand.
Because, look, the result that you get by staying in self pity is quite different. Then what you’re going to get when you get excited and when you get charged up about taking control of your life and taking control of the direction of your journey. And when you get to the place where you can say, you know what, motherfuckers, I get to do this, everything changes.
Everything changes. The way that you show up with your treatment team, the way you show up with other professionals that are trying to help your ass on this journey, everything changes. Your attitude with your friends and your family completely changes. You cannot tell me that if you turned around and started saying, you know what?
I get to do this. I get to pursue my baby. I get to be the woman that, that creates success. I get to be the woman that gets out of the rut of feeling sorry for herself. I get to do that. Like me. There is an inherent understanding by saying I get to do this that you are in a place of choice and you understand the responsibility and you know what, you’re fucking charged up about it.
A woman who makes the decision that she honors her feelings but that she’s not going to live in self pity, there’s something magical that happens. And I see it all the frickin time. Everyone that you’ve heard on this podcast made that choice. And is holding a baby today because of making that decision.
That self pity may have been a place that she has visited, but she has not taken up residence. So I challenge you all this week is to instead, if you catch yourself, and like, we’re all fucking human, we all go there for a second, but the cure is simple. I get to do this. So, when you find yourself being tempted by your saboteurs to go into a dark place and you know the difference between valid feelings and self pity, okay?
You get that. There is a place where it turns into something destructive rather than honoring what’s true for you. It’s totally different. And it feels different and you’ll know the difference. So when you’re tempted to go to that place to say, no, you know what? No, I get to pursue my dream of being a mom.
This is an honor. This is a privilege in my life to have the ability and the discipline, the means all of the things that I need, because this is a kind and generous universe where I get to do this. I get to be in the process of living my dream. You cannot tell me that you don’t feel different in that single sentence.
I should do this. So try that out this week, my loves, give yourself the opportunity to do something better than be in self pity. Not better because I say it’s better, because you know deep down in your soul that it’s better. That looking at this journey as an opportunity and as a privilege, as a chance to really grow.
Is going to get you a hell of a lot farther than being in a gross, victim y state that is going to keep you miles away from where you actually want to be. And if you want to go further with this, if you want to build that, I get to do this mindset, my Fearlessly Fertile Method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind and body.
So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women, as you can tell, who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true.
Their results speak for themselves. If you don’t have a mindset for success on the journey, baby, you got to give it all in your stride. Let’s fix that shit. Set you up for success. Till next time. Change your mindset. Change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review.
Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.