It's that time of the week again when we get real--real real.
Over the past week, I've been organizing the content for my book (YES, my book!) and in doing so I was reminded of an aspect of my old mindset that was freakin' T-O-X-I-C. I'm sharing it with you today, so you can start kicking it in the teeth.
I began my fertility journey with the expectation that I would simply take some medication, have a round or 2 of IUI, maybe IVF, and then I'd be having a "Sound of Music," moment in the baby section at Target.
With disappointing IUIs and a nightmarishly satantic first round of IVF under my belt, the glowy hope I once had deteriorated quickly...as did my self esteem.
What's crazy is that if you had asked me at the time about the state of my self esteem, I would have responded with,
"WTF? I'm a badass, cage fighter of a prosecutor, who stares down child molesters, rapists, and murderers, has a super hot husband, a killer family, awesome friends, and who is the master of her universe. I DON'T have issues with self esteem!"
All of that was true--except for the last sentence.
With each "failure," I began mercilessly labeling myself as "Deficient."
I would be making a brilliant argument to a judge, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, "the judge may rule in your favor, but you are deficient."
I would be having an intelligent conversation with colleagues, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, "you know what you are talking about, but you are deficient."
I would be enjoying a visit with family or friends, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, "this is great and you are having fun, but you are deficient."
I would be getting prettied up to go out with my husband, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, "you look fabulous, but the TRUTH is you are deficient."
What do you think living under this gnarly brand of self-inflicted abuse will cause?
Crushing stress? Shaken self-confidence? Doubt? Helplessness? Isolation? Short-sighted, fear-based decisions? Strained relationships?
Do those things sound like the makings of a miracle? (If you are living in a similar way and not getting the result you desire, the answer should be obvious.)
Be honest about the label you give yourself for being on this journey.
The label you give yourself will shape your experience, impact your choices, and has the power to influence outcomes.
If the label sucks, change it.
I've created an exercise to get you started below. Do it this week!
Here's to being different...not deficient.
Lots of love,
Intrigued? Here's an exercise to take this to the next level...
Get to know the label you've given yourself.
Loser? Worthless? Failure? Sinner? Last kid picked for dodge ball? Slow-poke?
Not sure what it is? Listen close to what you tell yourself when you see a gorgeous pregnant woman, or someone else's pregnancy announcement in your Facebook feed.
Identify the label. Ask yourself if this is what you choose to believe about you...really.
Select a new label. One that inspires you and speaks to the TRUTH about who you are on this journey.
Need inspiration? Think about the 3 people you admire most. The reality is that we admire people who reflect our own awesome traits and potential--even if we can't quite see them yet. Everything you see in them, is in you. Trust me.
Practice living your journey with your new label for a day. What do you notice??
Stretch yourself. Remember, it's about progress, NOT perfection.
If this exercise has made a difference in your day, comment and tell me about it. xoxoxo